It was Ozzfest 2001 and I was the coolest sixth grader I knew, accompanying my mother to what would no doubtedly be the coolest concert of all time.
I walked around feeling like I owned the place until my mother spotted David Draiman, Disturbed's frontman, and squealed that she was going to get an autograph. I chased after her, but it was too late. My mom was leaning over, pulling down the front of her dress for him to sign. He did it. I thought I would actually die from embarrassment, but as it turns out, that would be too merciful and I was subjected to the same behavior when she spied Serj Tankian of System of a Down. He turned her down disgustedly, and by this point I wasn't sure if I was more or less humiliated by the whole bit.
