what happens to all the new transitioners

[mrs izzy]

to transition carries a steep price because it's considered unnatural no matter how you look at it. its considered unnatural because more and more people are being to feel like they were cheated thus eventually chaos will occur. the price one pays depends on that individual. some carry a price so steep, that they'll fall into the null state. the null state is a state in which the individual can not be saved no matter what you do or say. however there are those who dont have to pay a steep price and will go on living active full lives.

I disagree everyone can walk back from what you say is the null state in transition. Living proof!

[enigmaticrorschach]

I disagree everyone can walk back from what you say is the null state in transition. Living proof!

not here to argue or disagree, i am only simply stating what i've seen and experienced. believe me or not but i know a couple of people who tried to transition and it destroyed them completely. it may not be many but i've seen it happened up close and personal. everything comes with a cost for nothing comes free. its a give and take life. transitioning is basically like trying to evolve and those not strong enough to make the change, well, you can already guess what happens

[Autumnleaf]

 

Please please please call one of the hotlines listed here if you get any closer to that awful accident that someone will have to clean up.  As an anesthetist I attended too many suicide attempts in the ERs that didn't work and maimed people and hurt others.  Please hang on, you are worth it.   You are just starting HRT and for so very many of us it really does get better.  We understand the pain and the desire to stop it but please stick around and see what possibly fantastic experience awaits you.  There are alternatives to get away that are not so permanent and you are smart enough to make em work....

Thank you Miss Tessa for being so wonderful.  All my thoughts in the last month have been a whirlwind of emotion, depression, and anxiety that I don't know if I want to keep going through this but I'll look for healthy ways to cope.  I just want to say thank you so much for the kind words.

[stephaniec]

not here to a :embarrassed:a couple of people who tried to transition and it destroyed them completely. it may not be many but i've seen it happened up close and personal. everything comes with a cost for nothing comes free. its a give and take life. transitioning is basically like trying to evolve and those not strong enough to make the change, well, you can already guess what happens

I don't know it seems if your transitioning because you need to it's neither right or wrong , just another door to open to find peace within yourself. So. you think the answer is transition , but it turns out not to be you keep moving and learning and try another door , neither bad nor good.

[Alaia]

I initially joined this site and made a few posts back in 2008 before disappearing for several years. For me, I wasn't ready yet. Funny, I even found an old post in a topic about indecision in transition that is relevant:

I haven't started yet, I'm still struggling with the initial decision.  However, if I do decide to do it, I'm sure I wont look back.

And that's how it was for me, once I did finally make the choice to transition I have never looked back or had any second thoughts. It took me several years to get to reach that decision though. It may be the same with many others here who sign up and then disappear for a while.

[LizMarie]

Less than 10% of the trans people I know here in Houston are involved with any trans related forum like Susans.

There are far more accessible ways to find what you want on the internet these days. Social media sites like Facebook provide personal interactions. Youtube provides videos from people who are transitioning to give out more information. There are dedicated

[KittyKat]

I generally find myself reading topics mostly and rarely posting, haven't even posted an updated picture since December. Mostly busy just living life and trying to think of ways to get GRS money.

[saraht123]

I am absolutely guilty of making roughly one post (probably months ago) then disappearing. I'm still here and still intent on transitioning. It's just a long term project for me due to life circumstances.

I'm still getting electrolysis and feeling happier for it. My hair has grown out a bit and more feminine cut. I'm pre hrt but I gained 2" on my hips and lost 2" from my shoulders. Small steps, but as long as I'm making progress I feel much better.

I guess I just don't find too much time to post (but I'm and keen reader!)

[Cindy]

I'll wade in (for a change )

Accepting yourself is hard. Even posting on a forum such as this is terrifying for many new members.
They have finally bared their soul.

Staff and I try to greet everyone at least just to say "Hello".

But there is nothing stopping anyone from saying "Hello" I'm XXX from XX land nice to see you. I'm scared as well and I would like to make friends with people.

At some point in all of our lives I think we all have thought 'I'm the only person in existence to have these feelings or thoughts'.

Susan's is dramatic proof that no, you are not alone and there is no reason to be.

There is a funny thing about reaching out, you gain more than you ever lose. You find ways to relate to people, which in many cases allows you to relate to yourself. Dare I say, when you learn to relate to people, other benefits open, your job prospects improve, your personal relationships improve.

You improve, you are happier.

Maybe we should ask: Why do not we all reach out to new transitioners and help them?

From a personal point of view, I love it.

My closest friends, the people I trust with my life decisions are friends I have met here.

I know I'm not alone in that!!

[Dee Marshall]

No, you're not alone in that, Cindy. I collect friends very slowly. Locally I have three, counting Sweetie. Two from other online places. Many who are becoming friends from here. Funny, of the five, three are women, one is trans, one is asexual. I have no actual male friends. Huh!

Bless you all!

[Kyra553]

Truth be told I ran out of ideas on what to post so I have returned to forum stalker status.   

I usually read a thread every day on my phone or computer. I just dont feel the need to post unless I can actually help with the topic.  I still enjoy enjoy seeing all the new and old faces. But the best part is still knowing I'm not alone and transitioning isnt really weird once you get over the "social shock" of other people. Its nice to finally enjoy life.

[xponentialshift]

I agree with a lot of the people in this thread. Early on, before and during the start of transition, I would post in the forums a lot because it helped me process things and it was good to read about others going through similar things.
Once I felt comfortable enough to go full time, I got really social in my local community and honestly was just so busy that I don't think I even looked at the forums for a few months.
Now I have a bunch of trans friends and a lot of them also used Susan's briefly near the beginning of transition bit also stopped using the forums after a while. I try to at least poke my head into either IRC or the forums once a week though just to keep updated.

I think the biggest reason for people who are transitioning and stop posting is that they probably have friends they now interact with in person and that reduces the need to use the forums, so unless they are the type that loves to help others starting out, then they tend to drift away.

Well those are my thoughts on the matter ^^

-Molly

[Colleen♡Callie]

I guess I fit this description. 

For me though, there was this euphoria for a month or two after finally coming out, and I found this forum and was active.  Then the euphoria wore off and the fear of everything that was going to happen (not the internal stuff, but all the external crud that comes with and all the doubts about ever getting to where I would look and be accepted as a woman, etc.) and as great and helpful as this forum is, for me it just became fuel for that fear.  All the posts detailing some crap one of us had to deal with this time, and even all the success posts and such, which that pervasive little voice in my head would constantly say I would never get myself.

In a way the site became triggering and I had to step away while I dealt/deal with all that.  I love this site and will return to full activity one day.

[Ange]

Well you don't necessarily want your transition to become your life. First, talking and thinking all the time about it is hard on the nerves ; Second, you have a lot of other things in your life. Transition is just one of them.

That's why I personnaly avoid to spend too much time on the forums.

[Rina]

I find myself lurking a lot but very rarely posting, which is mainly because I rarely have much to add to a thread; most of the time, someone else have already expressed my thoughts on the matter. It's also a matter of time, as I sometimes start writing a post but end up not posting since I don't have the time to finish it; I often do forum reading while drinking my morning coffee, and generally that means I have time to read but not post. So I often end up only posting about things which are important to me, or of special interest.

As for what happens, for me specifically, I started HRT slightly less than a year after joining here, and went full-time/started RLE a few months later, when I was certain that the psychological effects were beyond doubt beneficial (to say it mildly... "HRT saved my life" is more accurate). I plan on having SRS sometime around summer 2016, but have not made the final decision yet. I have been accepted by almost everyone close to me, and things are going well - almost scaringly well. My response to HRT is beyond what I expected physiologically as well as psychologically, I have had virtually no problems with things like changing my name, people at my university have been wonderfully accepting, as are the people I train martial arts with. If there are any naysayers, they have mostly kept their mouths shut. There are of course still challenges, but they are minor.

This also contributes to me posting less; I don't really have much to post about, as in I don't have many questions or issues that arise. If annoyed with something (or someone), I tend to vent to my friends rather than online (and I am fully aware that I am privileged to have friends I can vent to!). I do sometimes search the site for older threads to answer more specific (generally HRT or surgery related) questions, and I mostly find what I need. Other times, I do browse the forum to see if I can answer something in other posters' threads, but as I mentioned, most of the time someone else has already said what I wanted to say. So it more or less boils down to me not needing to post a lot, combined with feeling I have little to contribute to other threads.

[Kellam]

I have only had an acount at Susan's for two months or so but in the past internet searches led me here and I would lurk for a day or two, then clear my browser history and try to forget. I often reach event horizons. I will only go so far because if I go one step further I will be all in. With transition I was forever hoping it would turn out that I wasn't trans that it was something else. After 20 years I had explored all the options so I crossed the event horizon.

I do expect I will drift in and out years down the road. Once I am further along. But I will always stop by to see how things are going. That's how I do on a sobriety forum. I don't participate as much as when I was first quitting booze but I stop in to leave a trail of crumbs through the woods for the others behind me. Share my story and progress, share how my life is going etc.

I don't always post but I read here every day.

[Emileeeee]

I have only had an acount at Susan's for two months or so but in the past internet searches led me here and I would lurk for a day or two, then clear my browser history and try to forget. I often reach event horizons. I will only go so far because if I go one step further I will be all in. With transition I was forever hoping it would turn out that I wasn't trans that it was something else. After 20 years I had explored all the options so I crossed the event horizon.

I know this all too well. With more self acceptance for me, comes more happiness, and more likeliness that the event horizon will be behind me. The logical thing to do is to wait until all my variables are aligned, but what I really want to do is just start the RLE today even without hormones, something I never in a million years would have considered an option before. I'll still wait, but probably only until the end of the year or when my voice doesn't sound faked, whichever comes first.

[Kellam]

I know this all too well. With more self acceptance for me, comes more happiness, and more likeliness that the event horizon will be behind me. The logical thing to do is to wait until all my variables are aligned, but what I really want to do is just start the RLE today even without hormones, something I never in a million years would have considered an option before. I'll still wait, but probably only until the end of the year or when my voice doesn't sound faked, whichever comes first.

Self acceptance for me was my event horizon, once that moment came I couldn't turn back. So I came out to everyone I know, threw all my male clothing in the trash and made the necessary appointments to start hrt. Not the most advisable path I'm sure but for me it has been wonderful, and so me. The happiness was too much to deny and the lie became too painful to bear. I'm learning to enjoy my awkward second puberty!

[Daisy Jane]

I've been here off and on for nearly a year. I've come out to one person IRL, but otherwise I haven't done anything. A lot of it has to do with feeling so overwhelmed about making a life changing decision.

Other reasons include:
- Doubts about whether my feelings are real. It came to me after Laura Jane Grace came out in Rolling Stone and part of me wonders if it's some sort of hero worship. Then again, as much as I loved the music of Against Me I didn't really know anything about the band members. I know much more about her and the band since Laura came out.
- Fear that I'll have trouble finding work. I considered going back to school for Computer Science, but will a trans person be taken seriously in a male dominated field?
- Fear that I'll be seen as some sort of novelty, and that no one would ever fall in love with me or see me as a real person.