MTF lesbian question

[awilliams1701]

They are two separate parts of who you are, but that doesn't mean they can't change. A lot of people have reported switching from women to men or from women to bi. Some were always interested in men.
I'm still only interested in women, but until recently I was only interested in feminine women and not butch women.
Who knows what the path ahead of me has for me.

[martine]

Cindy16, apparently thumbs up is written in the following way in most messenger software "open parentheses capital Y close parentheses". Hence I'd type 2(Y) for Cindy !


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[CassieG]

I have found this discussion really useful. Actually a eureka moment. This clarification of the separation of gender identity and sexual orientation explains everything that I have been confused about for the last 48 years. I had and have enjoyed wearing women's clothing and playing with sex toys for the whole of my life. I have not been attracted to men - but always thought I might be gay (sex toys) and thought the dressing as a women was 'in some way associated' with that and that I was in some way in denial about being gay.

I now see so very clearly that the dressing and playing were an expression of my gender identity.

Amazing.

Cx

[Violet Bloom]

I have found this discussion really useful. Actually a eureka moment. This clarification of the separation of gender identity and sexual orientation explains everything that I have been confused about for the last 48 years. I had and have enjoyed wearing women's clothing and playing with sex toys for the whole of my life. I have not been attracted to men - but always thought I might be gay (sex toys) and thought the dressing as a women was 'in some way associated' with that and that I was in some way in denial about being gay.

I now see so very clearly that the dressing and playing were an expression of my gender identity.
Amazing.
Cx

  This is EXACTLY what happened to me  - the whole "eureka moment" a while after I first concluded I was transgender.  When I finally 'got it' completely I felt like I'd been struck in the head with a hammer I was so blown away.  It was like all my neurons went KA-BLAM!!! at the same instant.  Everything then made sense and my identity was cemented in that moment.  I actually felt kinda dumb for not figuring out this key concept earlier.  I was like, "Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh......."

[kelly_aus]

I just wish people would stop saying that hormones change sexual preference - there's no medical evidence to suggest they do.. And if they did, don't you think hormone treatment would be used a 'cure' for homosexuality, something that has been tried an the past and shown to be a complete failure?

[miya5]

I just wish people would stop saying that hormones change sexual preference - there's no medical evidence to suggest they do.. And if they did, don't you think hormone treatment would be used a 'cure' for homosexuality, something that has been tried an the past and shown to be a complete failure?

I totally agree with you. I think they were trying to say that once the  HRT kicks in you stop focusing on what you look like and now can focus on who you are attracted to. Things can change once you can think clearly. Sort of all comes together.

[Beth Andrea]

Cindy16, apparently thumbs up is written in the following way in most messenger software "open parentheses capital Y close parentheses". Hence I'd type 2(Y) for Cindy !


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I thought it was (.Y.) ...oh wait, that's...

I never thought I was a woman, just that I didn't "fit" with the guys. On the other hand, I made friends with lesbians at the drop of a hat, but never hetero-women.

Men didn't especially interest me until I got on hormones, now I understand there is a place for them (at least sexually)...but a LTR? Naw. (imho, HRT does NOT change sexual preference, it either drops the walls within that one has after years of social constructs, or it allows one to understand the attraction in a more visceral way. <--Based solely on my experience, and I don't need no medical study to validate me).

So, after my revelation that I am MtF, and the end of my 23 year marriage...I pursued the life of a lesbian, and hey presto now I are married to one! And I'm a *confirmed* lesbian now!!

[Violet Bloom]

  HRT seems only to have served to reinforce my lesbian sexuality.  I've developed the ability to have all-out female orgasms and I can sometimes trigger them just with fantasy.  It must involve women and a shared understanding of the sensations we're both feeling - Men play absolutely no role in arousing me sexually.  It sure was confusing figuring it all out at first, especially in terms of dominance roles and who potentially penetrates who.  I can say with all certainty now that the thought of another woman taking control of my body and also penetrating me drives me completely crazy!  Sex toys have fully changed my sexual experience and outlook from one of feeling nearly asexual to one of multiple overwhelming orgasms to the point of near complete exhaustion.  It's pretty clear to me now what makes my mind and body tick - Lesbians!  (Now if they can just look past my existing superfluous junk... sigh...)

[awilliams1701]

For the longest time I didn't know what was wrong with me. I felt like I was gay or something, but I like girls not guys. Meanwhile my inner self is screaming at me, you're a girl!!!! It took a while to listen.

I have found this discussion really useful. Actually a eureka moment. This clarification of the separation of gender identity and sexual orientation explains everything that I have been confused about for the last 48 years. I had and have enjoyed wearing women's clothing and playing with sex toys for the whole of my life. I have not been attracted to men - but always thought I might be gay (sex toys) and thought the dressing as a women was 'in some way associated' with that and that I was in some way in denial about being gay.

I now see so very clearly that the dressing and playing were an expression of my gender identity.

Amazing.

Cx

[CassieG]

Well my head is still spinning this morning. Things are just happening so fast. Thank goodness my wonderful wife is being so supportive. I have an appointment with a leading psychologist in the field on Thursday - on the advice of a good friend. Bless her - my wife is suggesting I go for wig fitting in the morning to save having to go to London twice in short succession. How cool is that.

I just can't believe this is happening. I keep crying all the time. Thank you so much for being out there.

cx

[KristinaM]

For years and years before I knew anything about the subject of being transgender, I thought I was a lesbian trapped in a man's body, I kid you not. Never heard of that ever before, but plucked it out of my own mind. I've been experimentally intimate with a couple different guys, and while I never got aroused by servicing them, I never got aroused by servicing women either, weird?  And I definitely am not attracted to the bigger, tan, hairy men, but instead, the ones that are more androgynous used to turn my head. ;-)  when I got married though, I shut down all those feelings so I could live the life I was "supposed to".

Now, me and my wife's sex life has been dwindling over the years, and we haven't successfully had sex in the last 5 months, and only tried I think twice at that.  Part of that is due to my having MS and how it's affected my ability to perform, but I haven't really WANTED to be with her either in nearly a year I think, except for the purpose of trying to conceive a child, which we succeeded at about 5 months ago.

Anyways, back on topic, I've becoming more asexual and non -sexual in the months leading up to my self-discovery about being transgender and I wonder if it's related.  Nothing turns me on anymore, not even porn. The only time I get "excited" is when things make me genuinely happy, and of course the overnight automatic ones still show up every now and again...

Can't wait to see if hormones change things in this area. :-)

[Dee Marshall]

"Lesbian in a man's body," you have no idea how many of us have said that! And the number of people who thought I was joking when I said it....

[awilliams1701]

I've said this a number of times and thought it was a joke, but knew deep down it wasn't.

"Lesbian in a man's body," you have no idea how many of us have said that! And the number of people who thought I was joking when I said it....

[Beth Andrea]

"Lesbian in a man's body," you have no idea how many of us have said that! And the number of people who thought I was joking when I said it....

I've said this a number of times and thought it was a joke, but knew deep down it wasn't.

Same here. I knew my body was getting in the way of truly expressing this, but never thought about transitioning... I didn't even know it was a thing.

[Aazhie]

  Perhaps it's just my inner knowledge of how testosterone affected my own behavior as an unknowing trans woman and people who are actually male can handle it, I don't know, but I can never be comfortable with that in a relationship.

I am about the opposite side of the spectrum from Dee! I am FTM and pansexual, but very heavily attracted to men overall, whether trans or cis, the body parts and stuff matter less, it's more the personality type.  I am also very attracted to women who in a stereotypical way act a bit more masculine? I know it's extremely stereotyped to say women are more emotional, but to me, it's more the WAY the emotions tend to be expressed, I guess?

I have always been attracted to guys and have gotten MORE interested in women of all kinds as well as anyone non-binary.  I just like mellow people who are not easily flustered and don't have the rapid emotional shifts I used to have when I was pre-T and pre trans!  I view it as partly attraction, I love male bodies, nto a huge fan of typical female anatomy.  The women I am attracted to are not usually very feminine in appearance.  But some of it is also due to feeling a bit off about seeing body parts that I don't like on myself.  The more I am treated like any other guy by a particular girl, the less this bothers me, I guess?

Anyways, the majority of the transmen I know seem to be more into guys than women, or are dating very genderqueer/ atypical girls who do not always identify as female or women.  My one very old time MTF friend has a very lovely girlfriend, they were dating since high school, stayed together with very little problems during her transition. 

I think a therapist could help you decipher your feelings!  But being a lesbian MTF is not at all unsual!

[Aazhie]

I totally agree with you. I think they were trying to say that once the  HRT kicks in you stop focusing on what you look like and now can focus on who you are attracted to. Things can change once you can think clearly. Sort of all comes together.

Yeah I don't feel my sexuality has been changed by T, it's that my walls have come down now that I feel like a proper dude.  I think if someone's inner image of themselves is a stright woman, they will probably be into guys mostly and if they see themselves as a gay man, they will mainly be into guys.  I don't think it's as simple as the hormones changing you so drastically!