Transgender boy, 16, commits suicide after years of bullying

[Serena]

Transgender boy, 16, commits suicide after years of bullying

By Darren Wee
2nd March 2015

http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/transgender-boy-16-commits-suicide-after-years-bullying020315#sthash.OPJdSn7n.dpuf

A 16-year-old transgender boy from North Carolina has taken his life after enduring years of bullying.

Ash Haffner stepped into oncoming traffic near his home in Indian Trail on Thursday (26 February) night.

Post edited to meet forum news requirements

[Myarkstir]

May he find peace somewhere else.



On another note :
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,183986.0.html


TransLifeLine.org
US: (877) 565-8860
Canada: (877) 330-6366

Post edited by news staff to meet forum news requirements

[Myarkstir]

Warning : 

Please people stay on topic, which here is the sad events that happened to Ash Haffner. Please place other topics on their own threads.

[RobinT]

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCht9_ORH3zhyZb0hFXm3fRg

This is Ash Haffner on youtube

#doitforash

[Ian68]

God, what a waste.  He was just a boy; how can anything this terrible ever happen, much less with the frequency that it does?  We have got to find a way to protect our kids.

[Beth Andrea]

God, what a waste.  He was just a boy; how can anything this terrible ever happen, much less with the frequency that it does?  We have got to find a way to protect our kids.

Bullies have been around for decades, if not longer. Even in the days of corporal punishment there were bullies. The school is hamstrung by litigation threats, the police are tied up because of the "he said/she said" nature of a bulling report (no one will testify against a bully) I was told when I was a kid to not fight back; my parents didn't want to see me "stoop to their level."

Needless to say, I was bullied incessantly. I probably would've been one of those kids who brings a gun to school and kills everyone, except I dropped out before that could happen...

I told my kids to FIGHT BACK. Be strong, use weapons if available, try to do something that permanently cripples the bully if possible. My kids each had one fight; afterwards, bullies left them alone.

IT IS OK TO FIGHT BACK.

RIP Ash. May you have peace.

[JenSquid]

I am so sorry to hear about Ash. I wish there was something I could say that would make things better. We should all know by now that bullying kills, yet sadly too few people seem to care. My condolences to his friends and family. Ash, may you find peace.

Bullies have been around for decades, if not longer. Even in the days of corporal punishment there were bullies. The school is hamstrung by litigation threats, the police are tied up because of the "he said/she said" nature of a bulling report (no one will testify against a bully) I was told when I was a kid to not fight back; my parents didn't want to see me "stoop to their level."

Needless to say, I was bullied incessantly. I probably would've been one of those kids who brings a gun to school and kills everyone, except I dropped out before that could happen...

I told my kids to FIGHT BACK. Be strong, use weapons if available, try to do something that permanently cripples the bully if possible. My kids each had one fight; afterwards, bullies left them alone.

IT IS OK TO FIGHT BACK.

RIP Ash. May you have peace.

Same here. I was also bullied constantly as a teenager. I would complain to the faculty about it, and although the high school would occasionally make token gestures, the middle school I went to would actively look the other way. They told us not to fight back; to tell them and let them handle it. Everyone involved in a fight would be punished, not just the instigator. Well, after two years of telling everyone it was a problem and having nothing happen, it wasn't until I started fighting back that things got better. Granted, the bullying still didn't stop, but it did lessen, and I wasn't badly punished. The bullying, did, however, mess me up pretty badly psychologically, and over a decade and a half later, I'm still working through it with my therapist.

I think a big reason why telling kids not to fight back is so damaging, is that not only do they experience all the damage of bullying while still failing to stop it, but it teaches kids a sense of helplessness. You get hurt, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. And that learned helplessness stays even after leaving a toxic environment.

[LordKAT]

I told my son, who had issues with bullies, to not start anything but definitely feel free to defend yourself. I also went to the school which contacted the parents of the worst of the bullies. One parent shocked me. Came to my house and accused my son of making things up even when I happened to see this particular incident myself.

[marsh monster]

I told my son, who had issues with bullies, to not start anything but definitely feel free to defend yourself. I also went to the school which contacted the parents of the worst of the bullies. One parent shocked me. Came to my house and accused my son of making things up even when I happened to see this particular incident myself.

really, if a parent actually cared about how their child was towards other kids, the kid wouldn't be as likely to be  bully in the first place. Most learn it by example.

[suzifrommd]

My father encouraged me to fight back against bullies. Whenever I'd hit one, or do whatever I could, they'd just laugh, because I was a skinny, uncoordinated kid and hadn't a clue how to do any damage. It did me no good at all ever.

Now I'm part of the staff at a public school. I disagree with what's been said here. Bullying can be stopped by school administrators when they take it seriously. There are now laws that require schools to step in and keep their students safe. It makes a difference.

Telling a kid that violence is the best way to solve a problem leads to the world where only the strong and the skilled ever really feel secure. My advice would have been to find allies among the staff and friends among peers. I run a gay/straight alliance where students can go to be accepted as themselves. Bullies tend to pick on the solitary. There is strength in numbers. When I had one or two friends, that was enough to keep me safe.

I've noticed that athletic or coordinated people have no clue how it is for those of us who do not have those gifts.

[JenSquid]

Now I'm part of the staff at a public school. I disagree with what's been said here. Bullying can be stopped by school administrators when they take it seriously. There are now laws that require schools to step in and keep their students safe. It makes a difference.

And there was my problem. I was in an environment where the school officials refused to do anything about it.

Telling a kid that violence is the best way to solve a problem leads to the world where only the strong and the skilled ever really feel secure. My advice would have been to find allies among the staff and friends among peers. I run a gay/straight alliance where students can go to be accepted as themselves. Bullies tend to pick on the solitary. There is strength in numbers. When I had one or two friends, that was enough to keep me safe.

I would agree. Violence is not the best way to solve problems. I hate fighting, but on two occasions I had to. I guess I didn't state the last resort part. The issue is when your "defenders" fail to do their job.
I do agree about safety in numbers, but unfortunately, school had a tendency to isolate me from my friends at the worst times.

Hmmm... I think we may be getting off topic.