Hello everyone!
I've been lurking on and off this forum for about six months now, figured it'd be about time to sign up and introduce myself.
I found this website while looking for resources and experiences regarding nonbinary transgender individuals. As someone who never felt comfortable with being seen as my assigned gender at birth, it wasn't until late last year that I realised that I was probably transgender. I had a large post written up but it exploded into this whole life biography that I think is coming on a bit too strong for my first post on this site, so I've decided to leave it out, at least for now.
My name is Emmett and would like to encourage people to refer to me as that over say, that person over there. If you're not comfortable with using my preferred name, then I welcome the use of my username, Venom. I'm an AFAB transmasculine nonbinary who is still teetering around the gender questioning mindset. I previously identified as just nonbinary, however I felt the umbrella term wasn't quite specific enough. I'm not quite sure if transmasculine is the right label for me, but for now, it's a whole lot more comfortable than the label I was assigned at birth. Plus, it does a pretty good job of saying how I feel at face value without needing to further analyze and express my thoughts and or feelings about gender.
I'm halfway through the process of social transition and am out to most of my immediate family. It was a relieving, if slightly tear filled experience to come out. I didn't expect to, but I wasn't sure if I could continue on without having a major breakdown for seemingly no reason at all, at least to everyone else in the house. Wearing clothes that I actually feel comfortable in, and not just bits and pieces that I feel comfortable in has changed my life. Sure I've worn predominately masculine clothing for most of said life, but it was always with the mindset that I didn't like the colours or style of feminine clothing, or that I didn't want clothes that formed to my body shape. Now I buy masculine clothing with the intent to buy masculine clothing. To buy stuff that I find comfortable, to buy stuff that I feel like I can more accurately express myself by wearing.
I've discussed name and pronoun changes with my family and am going to start gently pushing a switch once I see a Gender Therapist to sort out some lingering dustbunnies in my head. I already have a name lined up, of which Emmett is the first name. I love it! The middle name was actually one I went by using a gamertag for a few months, all before coming to the conclusion that I felt at odds with my assigned gender. It's kinda funny how it's all worked out, but hey, they're familiar names to me and ones I'll likely respond to more readily than some of the other options I considered.
I'll be seeing a Gender Therapist in a few months time, have already booked the appointment last month and organised it with my family as it's a few hours drive to the place. Next week I'll be seeing a GP and I'll be spilling the beans to her too. It's a bit of a shocking concept to me, that I'm actually looking forward to seeing a therapist, that I'm actually looking forward to seeing a GP. Prior to this seeing a GP was a "only if I absolutely must" action, and in the past five years I can count on one hand how many times I've been to see one. I'm hoping this GP will become my regular GP as I don't have one and need one for medical condition management unrelated to being transgender. It was difficult to find a place fairly local (it's still a half hour drive away) that's LGBT friendly. Had I done anything about this last year when I actually lived in a place that had countless LGBT friendly places, then maybe I'd be further along the track. However patience has been good for me in that I've better come to terms with being transgender, and have better educated myself on the options out there.
This is getting long again so I'm going to end my rambling here.
I hope to stick around for a long while if I can, this forum has helped me through some rather unpleasant nights of worrying and stress.
