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falling for

Started by CR, April 19, 2015, 04:24:45 PM

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CR

April 19, 2015, 04:24:45 PM
I have a close friend who has admitted feelings for me.  I am stealth and have worked previously with this person so never had a need to tell.  We've been friends for quite a while and have gotten supperrrrr close.  We have said things and have exchanged pictures, etc. before.  I think initially this was just for fun and no expectation of things escalating in that way.  She comments upon my junk every once in a while and I just go with it.  The assumption is that I have what is supposed to be there in terms of down below.

I've told her I have feelings as well.  I feel like if I tell her, she is going to be extremely upset with me and that she was lied to.  She trusts me and I think I would break that with this information if I do tell.  If I did, I would want it to be very, very confidential, but obviously can't control that and I know she is very open with family.

Maybe I could possibly word it in a way like I was born with a defect and had hormone problems when I was younger...I don't know.

Ugh.  I don't know.
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Maleth

#1
April 19, 2015, 05:46:58 PM
This is a little bit of a sticky situation, do you know if she is accepting towards the LGBTQ+ community?
~Maleth
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sam1234

#2
April 19, 2015, 06:26:39 PM
If you really like this girl and want to have a relationship, then truth is probably the way to go. If you start dating her and she either finds out for herself or it gets to the point where she will feel lied to when you do tell her, it will be worse. If you tell her up front, you will save yourself and her a lot of grief if she doesn't accept it. If she does, then great. It may take her a bit to decide where she stands, but she already knows you as a guy, so its just a matter of whether or not she can deal.

sam1234
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rosetyler

#3
April 19, 2015, 08:06:45 PM
Try to get a feel for her thoughts about LGBTetc matters first.
Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken.   :)
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Ms Grace

#4
April 19, 2015, 08:40:26 PM
This is definitely one of the down sides of being stealth. Get a sound sense of her understanding of trans issues, especially F2M. Maybe tell her about a "distant relative" who has just come out and gauge her response...
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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The_Gentleboy

#5
April 20, 2015, 12:27:11 PM
To be honest mate its gotta be done. She knows about your feelings and she's gonna be really REALLY upset if you basically cut her off because you dont want her to know. As I always say, prepare for the worst, hope for the best!
The worst is she'll never talk to you again and may possibly out you, the best being she accepts you and you get it on. I would say though that if you are still in some form of transitioning across it'll put a fair bit of strain on the relationship.

Best of luck though
Gentleboy
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