This will be my first Christmas ever, in 53 years on earth, of being alone in my apartment. My two best friends (both of them married) have recently, coincidentally, moved away to retire. I think occassionaly of the saying if you have two great friends, you have a lot. I still do have those friends but there's going to be a big difference talking on the phone versus cuddling up as we talk. Words on a phone, to me, are not the same as words in person or, even, on a written page. For Christmas, I was invited to the house of some people I barely know (my ex's brother's daughter invited me). I made an excuse that I'd already accepted an invitation to a friend's house "but thank you for thinking of me. I appreciate it." And I really did appreciate it.
My ex still wants me to go over there (she knows the truth) but I told her that while it's very nice of her brother's daughter to offer that, it'd be an hour by car in each direction, alone. Add to that, gas feels expensive because I'm between jobs. It probably sounds odd but 'm sure I'll have a good time watching TV - there'll be plenty of good programming, I'm sure. I enjoy watching romantic comedies and Christmas movies. There's always a lot of HEART in them. Funny, watching old movies and being alone SHOULD make me sad. Because I love movies (I'm a film school graduate and now a music editor), I am able to lose myself in them. Their pain and joys become mine. The movies, at this time of year, have such warm happiness in their "happily ever afters." Even though I'm alone, that happiness is contagious enough for me to feel like I, too, have a wonderful life.
Teri Anne
