Family advice.

[Equestriaghoul]

I could use a little bit of advice. I'm 18 and going to move out on my own sometime this year, well, first my mom is going to find an apartment for use to move into, and than I'm going to look for my own job and apartment(right now we're too far out of the way for me to make it to any job on time), I'm not out to any of my parents, and I was just going to start hormones and than when I;m ready to go full time, I was change my name legally to the one I'm using here and than find another apartment where non of my relatives can find me. But I was wondering if maybe I should come out to them first, I still think my original plan is a better idea though. They don't like it when I shave my body, and once a few years ago my dad caught me wearing some lingerie and wasn't very happy. They say it doesn't matter if I like men or women, but of course, this isn't the same. I just think I'd rather skip them trying to convince me that I'm a man and get to the part where I do what makes me happy. Even if I do go through with my original plan, it probably won't be until around this time next year, because I want to make sure that I can support myself before I break contact, so I have some time to think about it. Any advice? They might not react badly, but than again, they might, and I'm not sure if I want to take that chance.
Thank you for your time.

[suzifrommd]

Your best hope is to try to educate your parents. They need to understand that:
* Being transgender is not something we choose. We were born that way.
* We can't make it go away and it typically doesn't go away on its own.
* Dysphoria is crushing. Depression and anxiety are common among those who try to ignore it.

Of course to do that, you'd have to come out to them, but at least you wouldn't have to guess anymore.

Not everyone is willing to be educated, but parents who are can be powerful allies. You really won't know until you try it.

I understand wanting to "skip" past the educating part, but it's where the real work gets done.

On the other hand, if you think you can stand putting off your treatment until you're self-sufficient, that's a reasonable option. I'm not sure I'd have that kind of strength.

Hugs, Equestriaghoul. You are dealing with very difficult stuff at a vulnerable time in your life.

[Equestriaghoul]

Well I'm not going to put off the treatment. I'm still going to see a therapist and take hormones. What I meant was i probably won't be until I know I can support myself AND I've been on treatment long enough to pass. That way if I do run into them again they won't know it's me.

Also, I'm not going to change me name to what I'm using here, I actually posted this on facebook, but thought I would post it here too so I can get more advice, I'm using my preferred name on facebook and forgot to edit that part when I pasted ti here. lol

Anyway, thank you.