what % of stealth do you think you'll be able to achieve by transitioning

[Lady_Oracle]

100% at this point in transition "being out" is kind of impossible unless I out myself to everyone I meet. I pass for cis so the only time I come out is if I'm going to be intimate with someone but I'm not dating right now so it's not an issue being pre-op. I have to say that when I was dating, it was emotionally taxing constantly coming out to people. I'm really over talking about my transition stuff unless its like discussing it with my parents. For the past 5 years transition has been my main focus and I'm finally at the point where it's not consuming every aspect of my life anymore. I've settled into myself and life is grand. All the hard work I've put into transition has paid off and now I'm just enjoying life, the way it should of always been. So I'm moving on, all that's left is bottom surgery.

[stephaniec]

congrats

[sparrow]

I've been interning at a company, and they only know boy me.  Once I graduate (boy name on my thesis is unavoidable), I hope to land a job at this company (they'd be dumb not to hire me and have said so).  And then, I'll feel free to start my transition.  Alternately, I'll find myself back in academia, where my history is open and public.  So in work, stealth is impossible.  Any friends worth keeping will accept a transperson, so stealth is pointless.

In day-to-day interactions with people: I hope somebody asks me if I'm ftm or mtf some day.  I hate the idea of FFS, so I think that's the best I can hope for.

[SarahSchilling]

I have a few friends who knew me from before, and my fiance knows.

Aside from that, I don't tell anyone. Maybe people notice, who knows? lol probably not since they always ask if i have kids.

And when its anything medical they really want to know if Im pregnant...

I voted 90-100%.

[Jenna Marie]

I guess it depends on how we're defining "stealth" in this conversation. (Not saying one way is better than another, just - it depends.) If it means "no one knows unless someone tells them," it's apparently 100%. If it means "what percentage of people *do* know I'm trans, because they knew me before or from gossip," I think excluding strangers it's like 50% right now. I have a lot of friends I made online *because* I'm trans, plus friends and family, and a gossipy boss.

[stephaniec]

good point

[sonson]

Im not transitioning yet so my answer is just my best guess of what I'll be able to achieve. I was gonna say 70-80, but I changed it to 80-90 based on what I've been told by my therapist and the Do I Pass thread. I still have trouble seeing it sometimes, but I believe it. ...maybe with a nosejob...

regardless though, I dont even necessarily want to be 100%. I'd rather be openly trans.

[stephaniec]

Im not transitioning yet so my answer is just my best guess of what I'll be able to achieve. I was gonna say 70-80, but I changed it to 80-90 based on what I've been told by my therapist and the Do I Pass thread. I still have trouble seeing it sometimes, but I believe it. ...maybe with a nosejob...

regardless though, I dont even necessarily want to be 100%. I'd rather be openly trans.

you look like you'll do pretty good

[April_TO]

Hi All, I would say between 80 to 90% as I have been noticing that I have never been misgendered for a good little while now. I would agree with some of you all that I still get some looks from women I'm not sure if it's them clocking me or just finding something interesting - who knows I am not a mind reader. However, I always get miss and ma'am even in close contact with people. Even today as I was cashing out this pants that I bought from a store, she even addressed me as "Ms. Insert Last Name - thanks have a nice day!"

As a defence when I feel I am almost getting clocked, I will open my mouth and talk and often my voice is the sway vote to the femme world. Thank God, I have a high pitched voice LOL.

Love,

April

[stephaniec]

I'm finding my voice getting better. I was with my therapist yesterday walking towards her office and this bag I have hanging from my side do to a infected gall bladder started to leak and I started swearing in a very feminine voice.

[Alaia]

I dunno, I assume we are talking about stealth level with random people out in public? I put 80-90%, but I could be overestimating. Almost all strangers treat me as a cisgender woman, but I have no idea what percentage of those have no clue vs. the ones that are just being nice and respectful.

As for the people that know me, I'll never be stealth. I'm very happy to be who I am and completely fine with being open to others about it.

[sparrow]

Almost all strangers treat me as a cisgender woman, but I have no idea what percentage of those have no clue vs. the ones that are just being nice and respectful.

Then you're passing pretty well.  When I go out presenting as female, nobody even hesitates to call me 'sir' or use male pronouns.  Now that I've got a pushup bra, I've had a few guys look up... get to my face, and flinch hard.  Before the bra, I just read as a man wearing a dress.  Sometimes, I can have some fun with that.  Today, I'm in a foul mood & feeling dysphoric about it.