Quote from: HaroldKerner on April 22, 2015, 04:00:16 AM
Hi everyone, I am here for my girlfriend who is having extreme depression being a transgender. I have tried to console, but she couldn't handle the situation herself. I informed her about FTM surgery of Mississauga and she is ready to do it. With all her mind, she wants to change her sex. She also consulted the FTM surgery clinic, McLean Clinic of Canada. They mentioned her about the mental therapy before starting the hormone therapy. I am with her on this decision and I need to help to control her depression. What should I do for this? It doesn't seem right, when she sits alone silently. I need your advice to help her. Thank you. 
First of all, good on you for seeking out this help for your partner. As was stated before, depression is an unfortunate consequence for many transgender people either because of how we're treated by society and/ or how we view our bodies. I'm assuming that you're Canadian; an example of discrimination there is that depending upon how your partner presents right now, they could potentially not be allowed to board an airplane because there's a Canadian flight regulation that requires the gender marker of an ID to "match" how the person presents. This is just one example of discrimination, and the list can become somewhat daunting. This alone or in combination with dislike or detachment with their body could very likely be causing your partner's depression.
I don't know if Canadian physicians follow the WPATH Standards of Care but if so, you and your partner should be aware that top surgery requires a referral from a therapist who is responsible for ensuring that your partner is emotionally healthy enough and prepared for having top surgery - this may seem like a hassle but it truly is for their own safety and wellbeing. Hormones (which are not required to have top surgery regardless of what anyone may try to tell you) may or may not require authorization from a therapist but I strongly encourage them to see a counselor if they are seriously considering any sort of physical transition. Even if they decide not to physically transition, they should be seeing someone for their depression - you might also see someone because it can be difficult to be in a relationship with someone who suffers from depression (I've been there so, I know).
In short, there are plenty of options for both of you. It may take time if they're really resistant to change or to admitting that they need help but it sounds like you're already doing what you can to help them. Just maintain an open dialogue but also be aware that it's impossible to give happiness to another person no matter how much you love them. Love them, help them learn to be happy, but don't feel as though it's entirely your responsibility.
Hope that helps.
-Ian
