mom made me cut my hair, sad panda

[CaptFido87]

Hi folks!

So my mom made me get a haircut today  ugh it's gonna take forever to grow it out. This is probably the hardest thing for me as my mom is a barber and cuts my hair. Also I haven't come out to my family yet, so it's a real pain in the ass! my mom thinks I'm growing it out for my girlfriend. smh

[awilliams1701]

I've had long hair since 16. Some guys have long hair. I knew of a few guys that inspired me that have long hair and that was one of the reasons I used to grow it out. I never understood it until last year, but as it got longer I was actually loving the mirror instead of hating it. Find some examples of guys with long hair to show your mom and maybe she'll let you.

[CaptFido87]

Sounds like a good plan, but my hair is thinning on top and is wavy beyond belief. So my mom, being a barber, she sees all the flaws in it and can't stand it. I feel like I've gone back to January with how long my hair is. I wish I could some how convince her.

[Beth Andrea]

You don't have to convince her of anything. It's your body, your hair. Tell her to keep her snippy little scissors off!

[fennec-fox]

Like Beth Andrea said, it's your hair, and your mom should respect that and not force you to have your hair cut short.

Anyway, since it's already been cut, just remember that you don't have to have long hair to be feminine. I'm AFAB and first got a pixie cut back when I was a 10-year-old kid who just accepted "I'm a girl because I have a girl's body" and didn't really question it or know there was anything besides male and female. My mom, aunt, and both my biological grandmothers all have short hair as well. I'd suggest perhaps looking up pictures of women with short hair if you feel you need a reminder that short hair can be feminine, too.

Also, as awilliams1701 said, guys can have long hair, so perhaps you should remind your mom of that. Funnily enough, my brother actually has the longest hair (almost shoulder-length) in our immediate family, and my boyfriend's hair is far longer (several inches past his shoulders). Really, she shouldn't make you have your hair short because guys are "supposed" to have long hair or whatever, since plenty of guys DO have long hair.

[CaptFido87]

Thanks for the comments. She didn't cut it short. its still got some length to it. But not as long as it was. I could try to convince her to let me grow it longer. The only problem is that my hair is thinning and when it's longer you can notice. So my mom just wanted to fix it up. I let her do it but I just feel like she took off too much. I did go almost 6 months without a haircut so I did fairly well with her nagging me for about 3 months. I'm going to try taking biotin and  hopefully that will help a little bit.

[barbie]

Yes. I know the sadness of being your hair cut short.

About 10 years ago, my wife stealthily asked the hair dresser to cut my hair short, although I asked just slight trimming. When finished, I was surprised that my long hair was almost gone. I was so much sad.

After a few weeks later, my wife confessed that she intentionally asked it to the hair dresser.

After that incident, I never had my hair cut short, growing it to the waist-reaching length. It took about 3 years.
About 2 years ago, I had my hair cut short again, but with very feminine style.

barbie~~

[Tessa James]

Long hair has been one of my most enduring expressions of gender and I am emphatic about retaining self determination for my appearance/presentation.  Since I started transition my world seems full of fashionistas offering unsolicited advice.   Such advice says more about their stereotypes than their acceptance of choice in the appearance of gender non conforming people like me.

I look forward to the day you have more comfort and control for being yourself.  Till then, well, most of us have huge experience with coping.

[barbie]

Actually a short hair style can look more feminine. While hiking to the top of a mountain here, I saw some young girls having the following hair style.



To my eyes, that hair style looks more feminine than any long straightened one. Also, my friends commented that I look more feminine with shorter hair style.

barbie~~

[Cindy]

I'm conflicted as we all walk our own path but I left my family when I was seventeen to be me. It was hard. There was no safety net.

Maybe it is time for you to do the same?

The world owes me nothing and the unpalatable truth is life is yours to live. So maybe you need to branch out and be you? I know how hard that can be.

[awilliams1701]

There are certainly plenty of girls with short hair. Personally I like it long though. For me it was the first chance of seeing my female self 16 years before I started transitioning.

[CaptFido87]

Lots of friendly advice, thanks all. My hair is about a half inch shorter than what it looks like in my picture. So It's not the end of the world. I was dealing with some stuff through out the last few weeks. I'm better now so it's helping. I read online its good to get semi annual trims anyways for the hair to help remove split ends and restrengthen hairs. So it's now. Not as long as what it was but I'll get my hair back soon.

Barbie- Thats a cute hair style. I'm going for a similar style/ look myself. I want it go to at leas the shoulders. I've got curly/ wavy hair so it looks really cute when it get longer. Hoping so anyways lol

[awilliams1701]

My stylist is cutting mine every 6 weeks and its still getting longer.

[kittenpower]

Brings back memories of when my dad use to give me a butch haircut at the beginning of every summer when I was a child. I would throw the biggest tantrum, and wore a knit cap over my head to try and hide it for weeks afterward, because I was so embarrassed and ashamed. 

[RavenMoon]

I had long hair since I was about 13. I just told my mom I didn't want to cut it any more. By the time I was in high school it was halfway down my back.

Just tell you mom you want longer hair.


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[CaptFido87]

Hi greyscale! Thanks for the response. I've let my hair get back to being longer again and I have been rather strict with my mom about cutting it short. Right now my hair is about down to around bottom of my nose or top of my lip. It completely covers my ears. The male pattern balding on my head has gotten much worse. you can clearly and visually see the balding on top. It does bring me an absolute lot of body dysphoria and it does get the best of my anxiety and depression. That said I've gotten Propecia (Finasteride) and Rogaine and I've been using them both since Tuesday, May 23rd. I'm hoping the the combination of both of those can help my hair look semi decent until I can get on hormones. I've been regularly using 10,000 mg biotin every morning for like a year now. Though I haven't really noticed that as helping much. So I've been trying some stuff to combat the balding. I'm holding out for a miracle here. I don't want to transition and be bald (I know that doesn't represent beauty or being a woman, but I don't want to wear a wig!). So the goal is to hopefully see some results before I go to Cancun for vacation.
I'll let you folks know later on if it works

[Cimara]

Your profile says you are 26. Why is this even an issue? Tell your mom NO. You don't want your hair cut. If she protests tell her to bugger off and go hose herself. You are a grown woman.

[RobynD]

Yeah if you are 26 and your mom still exercises that sort of control, i'd revaluate the situation. I'm not at all knocking you for it and i know how easy is it to give in to family pressure etc. Sometime around 12-13 at least kids should be given that bit of independence.

My mom often said she was not crazy about my long hair, i accepted that fact but told her it was mine.

[CaptFido87]

Dang ladies! so harsh lol! I mean I've got a majority say in it and for the most part my mom has been alright with it. It's just that she is a barber and cuts my hair, so it's more of a constant nag than anything. If I get my haircut, I usually just tell her "just a trim"; and for the most part that's what she does. She will give me a look and ask when can she cut it short and say it'll look a lot better. I still say no and it gets done mostly how I like. Hopefully once I can get the bald spots to grow better, I can make the hair look more fem.

[BeautifulRedPanda]

I think you should out, the longer you keep it the harder it will be for you to decide. I know the feeling of being scared or rejected but a mother is a mother she can accept you all the way. If you did that you will never have a problem regrowing your precious hair. You can do it.