Male, physically attracted to females mentally attracted to guys.

[andreratchet]

Hey guys. Recently I been questioning my sexuality a lot. No idea where to say I even fit. I mean, I believe that people are born with XY and XX (how Female, Male and other births are evolutionary). Anyway, it's not meant to offend as you guys and girls can believe whatever you like. I am just a firm believer in science and evolution.

To the point. I am physically attracted to females but mentally attracted to other like minded guys who get close (even girls fit here but it's more uncommon. Has happened). I often think about one male friend of mine and well, this is where it gets kinda odd. I think of him in a way where I want to make out with him and brush up against his body and penis. Thing is, I don't often think about us having sex as a gay couple would. I think about sex with him as I am a guy, with a vagina and he is penetrating me. I feel like if we were ever in a relationship I would be the female role. Of course, he is not the only one that it has ever happened with but he is the most common and longest lasting "fantasy".

Now, I also very often think of girls in two ways. Seeing I am a virgin I do think about sex with them in a traditional method. I also think about myself and her having a vagina having sex, penetrating with toys and rubbing. I also think of being penetrated by a woman with a penis.

Basically, I have been researching into SRS since I was like 14 (19 now) and over the past two years (this year especially) things have kind of picked up a lot in regards to desire and need. I often fantacise about penis removal. A lot. I stand at work and I lean and I imagine judging from pictures what it would feel like down there. I think about rerouting my urethra often just so I can have to sit and pee for a long while but if I peruse SRS afterwards rerouting my urethra would be an issue.

Anyway. I am very, very confused. I feel only like I do with my friend with specific other guys who I am mentally close with and I find girls to be often annoying time suckers (sorry, but I always got along with guys a lot better. All boy school so no female interaction for 5 years. But I still get that way with some girls) who may try and steal from you through marriage and hinder your comfortable, adventurous lifestyle. I find commitment hard and can't stay grounded for too long!

But finally. I got no idea where people would put me or what I should do. I always wanted to get surgery to finally posses a vagina but still be a man. Weird.

Anyway, thanks for reading, replying, etc. Hope nobody gets real offended. I am usually a direct person in what I say and have no filter.

[Kensi]

I don't know how well I can help here, but I have always wished I was a female. I can watch straight porn however always mentally placed myself in the roll of the woman being penetrated. When i attempted to have straight sex with a female, I never actually wanted to penetrate her and very regularly failed to do so. You have to find your own medium of what u want and the best way to do that is to experiment. its perfectly natural
   

[stephaniec]

Have you considered seeing a gender therapist ? They are trained to help you understand you feelings

[Rachel]

I second seeing a gender therapist.

[josie76]

I agree with seeing a therapist.

If you are looking for science behind these feelings, it does exist. There is just not alot of publication out there for what studies have been done while there's plenty of religious based denial of said science.

Secondly I suggest talking to the therapist about your preconceptions of women in general. Those ideas can be a major lifelong problem considering slightly greater than 50% of the population is cis female.

[PrincessCrystal]

Hey guys. Recently I been questioning my sexuality a lot. No idea where to say I even fit. I mean, I believe that people are born with XY and XX (how Female, Male and other births are evolutionary). Anyway, it's not meant to offend as you guys and girls can believe whatever you like. I am just a firm believer in science and evolution.

According to science, this is wrong.  For one thing, you're forgetting that the brain develops separately from the genitals, and therefore, can develop something incongruous: nature basically treats gender-identity like a dart-board and aims for the correct corner, but can be way off.  For another, you're forgetting things like Klienfelters (XXY), Androgen Insensitivity, and other intersex conditions, which are a good chunk of transgender people.  These are the results of evolution, which pretty much selects for whatever gets the genes passed on often enough.

Moving on though...

First off, therapy.  Go to it.

Second, you're 19?  Puberty can cause some really odd things in the brain, so this may pass.  Or it won't and you'll get over the confusion soon.

Oddly enough though, this sounds alot like me over the years.  I spent a long time just thinking about how great it would be to have a sex change or be castrated or whatever, and it wasn't until I delved deep into it that I realized just how much I wanted to be female, and not just have a vagina.

Thing is, I don't often think about us having sex as a gay couple would.

You know, anal CAN be very enjoyable to a man.

All boy school so no female interaction for 5 years.

This is bad for healthy mental development, because it prevents you from socializing with females normally and developing a solid understanding of them.

I find girls to be often annoying time suckers

who may try and steal from you through marriage

hinder your comfortable, adventurous lifestyle.

Case in point: you clearly don't have alot of experience simply talking to women and understanding them like any other human being.

I always wanted to get surgery to finally posses a vagina but still be a man. Weird.

That's not weird.  There are a few people like that here.

Hope nobody gets real offended. I am usually a direct person in what I say and have no filter.

No, that's my job.