First I want to say !Congratulations! to You for having been resourceful and brave to get to the point of just having to hit a 'send' button. So now you find yourself with the gun, trigger pulled, ready to fire and commit to the what has always been you to begin with - a physically complete woman. Society as we know it today, and for the most part defines woman equals vagina, man equals penis. You and I know that is not true, but maybe society has imprinted on us a bit and we seek physical normalcy. How many countless times have I looked at my full body in the mirror and pictured a vagina where it should be instead of what I have? Being a perfectionist, it takes a toll on me and if I allow it -- will also bother me to the extent I let it. I always tell my husband how lucky he is to have been born with mind and body matching and I ask him, "what is it like to be physically correct?". Because he loves me so much, he replies "your body is perfect and beautiful to me no matter how you choose it to be". Isn't that nice? Yet deep inside, that part of me does not make me feel perfect or beautiful -- just kinda incomplete. So there you are and there I am my dear -- balanced on the sharp edge of a knife. Pull the trigger, have a few months of recuperation and you will be able to sun nude on the right beach if you so choose (not that you could not do that now).
I would have been post-op now had I not experienced a slight hiccup with my passport when going to Belgium years ago. But I am thankful that happened because all those surgeries, in my opinion, were almost always with problems. One of the responders mentioned life's finality. That is why I know I will eventually exit this ride with a body which reflects who I am mentally and physically.
Good luck in your decision. Pray on it for guidance and you won't go wrong. ((Hug))
