just a philosophical question: why do we desire so deeply to be the other

[stephaniec]

where most of the human species see's the other as an object of sex and mating, we as transgender see the other as our proper self. When we see the beauty of the other instead of trying to feel that beauty through the act of sex we try to attain that beauty through a physical manipulation of our phenotype . were not satisfied to achieve unity and bind with the other through acceptance as the other as separate , but we need to totally express the other as our selves. Whatever it is genetics , environment , neither or both or something else , why are we so forced to change.

[Jayne]

I've always been drawn towards the belief of reincarnation.
Some inner voice keeps telling me that each time we're reborn we change gender to maintain a balance but from time to time we get born into the wrong body thus causing this deep, unshakable feeling that we need to change our gender to be comfortable within ourselves.

[enigmaticrorschach]

wow, you really got me thinking. to me, it feels like body robbery.

[Wild Flower]

For me, being a woman is never about being a woman. I am a woman, at least female, mentally. My brain is female. I see a man in the mirror. Its kind of like being the ugliest girl in the world.... I want something my body needs hormones.... I dont know why this happen.

But why I dont commit suicide?

I am not f" up, my body is healthy and my brain as ill coordinated as it is... is perfectly abnormally "normal".

[Miharu Barbie]

Why is the sky blue? 
Why is water wet? 
Why was I born this way? 
What is an elephant crossed with a rhino? 
'Ell-if-I-know.

[Wild Flower]

i wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, and we'd all eat it and be happy.

[stephaniec]

i wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, and we'd all eat it and be happy.

please send me a slice if you do

[Jayne]

I'll be baking cakes in the morning to take to the womens shelter, I need to learn how to make this rainbow cake that spreads happiness

[stephaniec]

Why is the sky blue? 
Why is water wet? 
Why was I born this way? 
What is an elephant crossed with a rhino? 
'Ell-if-I-know.

a rhinophant

[ChiGirl]

Why is the sky blue? 
Why is water wet? 
Why was I born this way? 
What is an elephant crossed with a rhino? 
'Ell-if-I-know.

Best answer.

[suzifrommd]

Humans are wired to identify with one gender and attempt to mate with the other. That mechanism functions in exactly that way in the vast majority of our species.

Human brains mature differently from the way animal brains do. It's the principal difference between our species and the other millions of species in the planet. In order to accommodate that, biological sex develops at a different time from internally wired gender. This fact leaves the possibility open for differing conditions at those two different times to bring about a physical body that doesn't match the brain's gender.

Because the human drive to identify with one's gender is so powerful, we're forever trying to figure out how to bridge the gap between internal gender and body sex.

However, my theory is that as a species, we've also evolved the ability to fight off these impulses during the years we typically produce children. Once I had produced children, I gradually found the need to mate receded, leaving this intense desire to change my gender.

[stephaniec]

good analysis

[Stevie]

   To me its a biological imperative, I need to transition to survive.

[Tysilio]

It seems to me that it's possible to overthink this.

I've pretended all my life to be other than who I am, and as I transition, I'm becoming myself. I was born with a female body, but it's women who have always been "other" to me; I've never understood them on any deep level, never identified with them, never felt invested in "women's issues" -- supported, yes, but they were never MY issues.

I don't, in any way, "desire to be the other." 

[stephaniec]

It seems to me that it's possible to overthink this.

I've pretended all my life to be other than who I am, and as I transition, I'm becoming myself. I was born with a female body, but it's women who have always been "other" to me; I've never understood them on any deep level, never identified with them, never felt invested in "women's issues" -- supported, yes, but they were never MY issues.

I don't, in any way, "desire to be the other."

I've felt exactly the same way

[Beth Andrea]

I never looked at women and said, "Golly, I wish I was curvy, shapely, and sexy like she is!"

I did say (thinking to myself), "What is wrong with me? Why don't I, why can't I connect with men or their "manly" activities?! OMG I hate feeling so alone, so...different."

I only began to fell like myself as I began to transition...the more I transitioned, the more comfortable I became with living.

[Kelly_1979]

off-topic but

Why is the sky blue?
Why is water wet?
Why was I born this way?
What is an elephant crossed with a rhino?

We know the answers for the first 2.

I wish I knew the answer for the 3rd but then again maybe not. I just want to feel in harmony with my feelings.

[Kellam]

It seems to me that it's possible to overthink this.

I've pretended all my life to be other than who I am, and as I transition, I'm becoming myself. I was born with a female body, but it's women who have always been "other" to me; I've never understood them on any deep level, never identified with them, never felt invested in "women's issues" -- supported, yes, but they were never MY issues.

I don't, in any way, "desire to be the other."

This, in the opposite direction. I could empathize with men but I saw them as foreign. I was forever looking for my feminine outlets even though I was a tomboy. Every straight tomboy has that period when she starts crushing on her guy friends and her femaleness comes to the fore. I had that moment but I had to choke it back. My constant internal question was..."why do men think I am one of them and why don't women see that I am one of them?" I didn't want to be the other, I needed to stop being forced to be the other.

[justpat]

   I do not desire to be "the other " I have been a woman or female all my life.  It was just an unfortunate circumstance that I was born with a male covering. Hormones for me are not to change me from a male to a female but are to adjust my covering to that which is more feminine as to be more acceptable to my mind,heart and soul. They have at very low dose worked miracles I am gendered female and given due respect as a female . I was at a meeting today and five men were lined up in front of me for coffee at the machine they all stepped back and let me go in front.Chivalry is alive and well and still dwells in some men.   Patty

[Orchid]

   I do not desire to be "the other " I have been a woman or female all my life.  It was just an unfortunate circumstance that I was born with a male covering. Hormones for me are not to change me from a male to a female but are to adjust my covering to that which is more feminine as to be more acceptable to my mind,heart and soul. They have at very low dose worked miracles I am gendered female and given due respect as a female . I was at a meeting today and five men were lined up in front of me for coffee at the machine they all stepped back and let me go in front.Chivalry is alive and well and still dwells in some men.   Patty

I agree completely!

I always felt that family worded it as such, because they have only recognized me as the boy they raised and got to know. I was never, categorically, male.

Funny thing, when I was little, maybe three, even, I wore a shirt on my head. Yellow, orange, something long. I felt like I knew why then. I lacked the words to describe myself back then, but I knew I was happiest.

I'm not sure why, I guess it never mattered to me 'why'. I just knew in all certainty. I thought maybe it had something to do with the environment, my mother, my friends, but... I couldn't explain it then, and I don't really know how to now, but I always felt whole when I was in a dress.