your stories are like mine

[meganmichelle]

I've been reading a lot on here and many of you are much like me, its so amazing there are so many of us and we all have so much to share, so much in common and many are still in stealth, or in the closet, or struggling. If I had a wish I'd wish the world would be war free, tolerant, peaceful, and all relationships would be accepting. wouldn't that be a nice place .

I want to share that I came out to my wife a few months ago, and we have been going back and forth. She KNOWS I'm transgender but has pushed me back into the closet (and I climbed back in to save her sanity).  She for now wants me to be her husband. so.. I'm her husband though the girl (and it is girl) is inside and its not going away. And I believe she knows this, she is no dummy, as example, she asks me "how can you say one thing and then suddenly be another" its a good question and I tell her I was just confused. She knows that's my canned answer to "Wife I want you to be safe, I want to have a future with you, so I'll do what I have to to save us,and when you are ready we can really talk" .

At the time I came out to her, I wrote her a LONG letter and read it to her, crying the whole time, and then I burned it because I have to protect myself in case things go sideways. In that letter I explained it all. And so she knows about me, knows things nobody else knows except for in instances where there was another person involved.

Now she is dealing with this secret and in some ways it has wrecked her. she says to me that when she looks at me now she sees her husband as a woman in a wig, and its destroyed her. I get it, and I tell her I get it. And I Tell her I love her, I want to grow old with her, protect her, and spend my life with her, and that alleviates her fear for the moment. but she is reeling, and I'm trying to remove it to show that I'm still here, regardless of a wig, or male or female the core of me is who she loves, not my shell.

We had a nice talk the other day, she asked me "why did you think these things?" and I Told her that "it felt right" and I think for a second she actually got it. but then we went back to pretending there was no elephant in the room and that I was "confused".

anyway.. I realize this is mostly ramblings but I just want to share that I'm dealing, wife is dealing. and I acknowledge we are all dealing.

Thanks for being friends on here.

[enigmaticrorschach]

now that you mention it, i dont believe i've told anyone my story yet. hmmm, no wonder why i still feel kinda like a stranger lol

[meganmichelle]

hi Echo Alcestis

Absolutely share , I noticed there is a  an "Introduction" forum, might be a good place. I too, need to go there and write up the story I Want to share here...and maybe do a full on share of my letter to my wife there at some point when all is better, or more out in the open.

I checked out your facebook page and saw all these other accounts that start with "echo" then a name. What is this about?  Apologize if its to forward, but I'm curious. Are these ghost accounts of closeted people?

[enigmaticrorschach]

no, my name is echo lol. thats my new facebook page i just create. i say heck, i may as well just in case.

[katrinaw]

Hi Megan, hugs sweetie.

Your story is like mine in many respects, except to protect my wife, I still have not had the courage, or readiness, for a number of reasons to tell her, but it is imminent now, as my Dysphoria has come to stay this time....

Its very hard on your loved one to hear this sort of news, you absolutely can't reverse what you have said either, my only advice, non tested yet, in my case  , is give her lots of time and space... But its good that you have talked about it.

BTW I can move this thread to Introductions for you...



L Katy

[meganmichelle]

no, my name is echo lol. thats my new facebook page i just create. i say heck, i may as well just in case.

hahaha ok, my apologies. was wondering, sometimes i read to much into things 😃

[meganmichelle]

Hi Megan, hugs sweetie.

Your story is like mine in many respects, except to protect my wife, I still have not had the courage, or readiness, for a number of reasons to tell her, but it is imminent now, as my Dysphoria has come to stay this time....

Its very hard on your loved one to hear this sort of news, you absolutely can't reverse what you have said either, my only advice, non tested yet, in my case  , is give her lots of time and space... But its good that you have talked about it.

BTW I can move this thread to Introductions for you...



L Katy

thanks much, after rereading this post i realized it really is a good intro post too. yup you can move this to that forum. and i can add some background as needed.  i wish you luck with your spouse/mate. this is such a hard challenging thing. for me and my spouse, its as i said its been rough and she needs my coming out to go away for now.. but she knows and i think in time... maybe this will normalize. but maybe not. as long as she needs me to be male i will try to be. but... I'm feminine, and have to,show it some how, even if its in secret.

[katrinaw]

Thanks... and yes I will move it...

L Katy 

[V M]

Hi Megan 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[meganmichelle]

/waves

Thanks I'm glad to be here, this is my island refuge, while I figure everything out with my spouse! the people here are very helpful, honest, and forthright.

[Yenneffer]

Hi =)