The Police Know, But How?

[Emily E]

It's all in the government...my fiancee's stepdad had to go through an FBI interrogation to get clearance for his last job, and they managed to bring me up, asking him things like, "Your stepdaughter is engaged...[his] name is -------, and he's transgender, has a facebook profile under the alias Julia, correct?"...I was furious. Livid.

Yes that's standard your fiancée's stepdad had to fill out a form where he listed his family (Mom, Dad, Sister, Brother, Wife, Daughter, Son, etc..) and when they checked on them (your fiancée) you came up either on her Facebook account or from interviews with one of her family, friends or neighbors and they are just verifying that that have your information correct.  Don't take it personally they are just making sure no one can have undo influence over him (some people would freak at the mention that some one in their family was or could be Transgender making them vulnerable to coercion) so unless your really a bad person (Crime, drugs, sedition, etc.) they could really care less about you and just do a cursory check on you before moving on.

[katiej]

There's a comedian who has a whole bit about former aliases.  In college he was drunk and got arrested after a bar fight. And when he was being booked into jail they asked his name, and he was just being a drunk idiot and said, "They call me 'Tater Salad.'"   Then 20 years later he was arrested again, and after looking him up in the system, the cop says, are you Ron "Tater Salad" White?

Yup...it's all in the system.

[iKate]

An official name change, as in through the courts, is part of the public record. In fact, it needs to be published in "A paper of record". When a cop runs your license, Every name associated with it is there, as well as all name changes, also known as "Also Known As", a great line from many a cop show/movie.

Ergo, in this post 9/11 world, there is absolutely no thing as stealth

I believe though in some states (California?) the newspaper notification requirement is waived for transgender people.

I don't like it. I don't mind it being recorded for law enforcement purposes but essentially publishing a newspaper notice saying, "(I am trans) this is my new name, that was my old name" is not nice. What's worse is that in NJ and other states the press association keeps a searchable database of public notices.

[LizMarie]

This is yet another reason why "true stealth" simply isn't possible. There is too much accumulated data out there.

Just live your life, be ready to admit it if confronted with it, and go about your business. It's not your fault you were born this way. You don't have to flaunt it but you may as well own it, if someone is going to throw it back at you. Don't be ashamed of who you are if you have to admit it. If someone is uncomfortable, it's their problem.