I went and did it again

[Emileeeee]

I struggled a lot on the girlfriend issue and I posted here about it before too. As much as I felt like our relationship would never work with me feeling the need to transition, I still went ahead and came out to her after several sleepless nights, because I couldn't bear to lose her.  I felt like I was stuck in a position where I had to make a choice between her or myself and it was killing me. Much to my surprise, she was totally accepting and is helping me with makeup, passing, and practicing my voice. She said she actually feels more in love with me now that I told her than before because we're communicating on a deeper level than ever. She feels like there's more of an emotional connection now. I have brought up the possible obstacles to her, for instance her being a lesbian and she says she's okay with that.

Also much to my surprise, she told me she saw the signs of this awhile ago and was expecting this conversation. That probably shocked me the most because I felt like I was always presenting as a man's man to her. She said when I was startled that I would react as a woman would. She also said that things I told her I liked (to appear more masculine) didn't really fit with the person that she knew, so there was a mismatch there. It made it very obvious that there was something I was hiding. It makes me wonder how many other people have seen these little slips over the years. Do my friends and family that I haven't told already have suspicions too?

[Valwen]

I know I have had lots of little slips over the years, but I have never really tried too hard to hide things either, there have been several patches in my life where I just went and left the closet door open.

This meant moderate bullying in high school, could have been much worse but most people where sure that I was mentally unstable and likely dangerous so i got left alone, there was also a persistant rumor in high school and probably afterwards, that I am gay.

I think those who get to know us often notice something, in a way it helps them accept it once we do come out. One exception often seems to be parents, they have a blind spot for there children and can often ignore even the most overt things to keep there perceptions of there child in tact.

--Serena

[sparrow]

She said she actually feels more in love with me now that I told her than before because we're communicating on a deeper level than ever. She feels like there's more of an emotional connection now.

Yay!  Took my wife a long time to come around to that.

I'd kinda think that the more people already suspect, the easier your social transition is gonna be.

[rosetyler]

Congrats!  It's always cool to hear about another supportive partner.

[Emileeeee]

Thanks everyone. I wanted to share because there are so many bad stories out there. I figured a feel good one was in order. She's definitely opened my eyes more to the fact that it doesn't have to be a downward spiral of depression all the time.

There's something to be said for being totally open with someone and having them love you no matter what. It's something I never thought I'd experience in my lifetime. It's the best feeling in the world.