Thanks for the insight, Jay. I have put over a decade of thought into the difference between top surgery and a general mastectomy for cancer prevention and have a multitude of reasons for investigating the latter. I know that the results of the mastectomy will not look the same as it would if I had a surgeon who specializes in top surgery perform the procedure. I am not concerned about having nipples right away as I don't plan on going shirtless except in my home. I have darker skin and scar very badly so I am going to have oddly colored, raised scars to deal with for a very long time, no matter who does the work. I am going to feel too self conscience about my scars to expose my chest to strangers anyway. I am more concerned with how my body looks in clothes than without them since that is how I will be presenting myself to the majority of the world. Any of the surgeons can fulfill that need, but with my mother, at least 1 aunt on both sides, and my grandmother all having to deal with breast cancer at some point, the oncologist feels that I am a suitable candidate for the cancer prevention mastectomy.
SWNID, as for leaving my wife at home while I have major surgery, that is not an option. I want her there when I wake up. It is preposterous to even think about leaving my life partner of almost 15 years who has been by side every step of my transition at home while I am experiencing a major life changing event. She also takes care of me and can do so much more easily in our specially equipped wheelchair accessible home.
I unfortunately only have 2 friends in this area that know I am trans but they live 2 hours away(and in another country). My wife's care attendant doesn't even know, or I would just have him drive us to Cleveland and back. I have been living deep stealth since moving to this area and have not felt comfortable enough to tell anyone. So I am not planning on showing my bare chest to anyone but my wife, my doctor, and maybe my close friends.