DISCLAIMER: Right up front I want it understood that this is not to be about any percieved negative aspects concerning ANY 12 step program. Having worked in drug treatment for many years, I have witnessed the positive transformation these programs have produced. Nor is this to be about any comparison between any organized addiction treatment, OR the advocating/dangers of NOT using the above treatment methods. Also not really necessary to give extensive history of use, or method of quitting, this is mainly about how we STAY addiction free.
OK, with the above in mind, I'll start with a little personal info and I would find it very interesting personally to hear others share.
I used from 1964 until 1996, almost exclusively injectable meth for the first third, a mixed bag (no pun intended
) the second third, and almost entirely alcohol the last third of my using. The first few years of sobriety was consumed by mostly a mental fog, and trying to figure out how to hold a job (had never worked a job in all the 60's, 70's, 80's). Looking back on these early years, roughly 1998 on, I believe I drew most of my strength from having never been within any part of society. What I mean by this is, my loner lifestyle provided the survivor skills necessary.
As time went on I began to realize that while the tools of survival alone would indeed in all probability continue to work for staying clean and sober, I realized how important social contacts would play a role. Problem was, was that I had no clue whatsoever what people did, what they talked about, their values, or how they got through each and every day. To this day, I have no idea why 12 step never occured to me, but due to the nature of the above disclaimer, that can be some other discussion.
I began to "people watch", I looked at and examined their every move (body language), notions, methods of diverting conversations away from sensitlve areas/and trying to figure out why, the masks they wore and what purpose those masks performed. Slowly I began to pick through all this information, discarding some, and incorporating others. There came a point when I became confident enough to place myself into a learning/social environment, meaning I started college. This was a huge learning experience, funny thing was, I failed interpersonal communication class three times
, so I finally took a speech class to make up for it, I was still far too outspoken and did not have the ability yet to be concerned with others feelings.
Well three degrees later, an number of different employment situations, a total of about 19 years sobriety, and a daily regimen of self examination, I finally reached gender issues etc., and now here I am
. For now I suppose that is good enough to start, and like I said I would really like to hear how people live on in their daily lives, problems, wins, tools etc..
Have a cool day. Dani
