just a philosophical question: why do we desire so deeply to be the other

[LizMarie]

To me it's less philosophical and more biological. As more and more evidence continues to accumulate that suggests that in utero hormonal exposures, resulting in a different gender structure to parts of the brain versus the body which houses it, it just seems obvious that the self (residing in the brain) would feel distressed and want to be what the brain expects it to be.

Family have asked me why not fix the brain? I reply that first, we don't know how to fix these issues in the brain, and second, making changes that drastic in the brain might effectively destroy our sense of "self" and result in a person completely different from the person you know.

[sparrow]

Family have asked me why not fix the brain?

Recently heard a guy say "I think this is just a phase our society is going through.  Eventually, we'll come to see trans-ness as a mental illness and treat it as one."  As if conversion therapy hasn't been tried before, and fallen out of favor because of the massive harm it causes.  People say the weirdest things sometimes.

Is it even possible to fix the brain and keep the person?  Is there any reason to?  I view the physical portion of transition as on par with tattoos, piercings, plastic surgery, weight loss and bodybuilding -- you're changing your body to fit the image that you want.  The social aspect is hard for people, but it comes down to basic empathy and manners.  Deliberately misgendering somebody is just as demeaning as using racial epithets.  What else is there?  Accepting people as they are is just common decency.

So, why not fix your family's brains?  All they're "suffering" is a little awkwardness because you've challenged some assumptions they've been brought up with.  The fix for that is just some open-mindedness and compassion.

Even when I'm in existential crisis mode, I want to transition just so I can do my part to burn down the institution that is gender.

[stephaniec]

I like my brain a lot , it's gotten me  to where I  am. It's not my brains fault that some circuits got diverted or what ever. My brain has been very good to me.

[stephaniec]

I really wish I knew the answer to this question, It's been on my mind 24/7 for the last 60 years. There has never been a nanosecond that has passed by my consciousness that I have not asked my self what the hell is going on. since I can remember at age 4 I've so deeply desired to be a female, you can say it's been an eternal flame consuming my soul. I've cried my heart out all my life asking God what the h--- is going on. I remember one crazy night I was practicing make up and trying on this pretty dress I had bought. this was about 20 years ago and I was thinking of GRS and asking God if I'd be able to function after the surgery and at the same time I thought about it there was a bright lightning flash and thunder, it was storming outside, I took it as a sign that God was on my side. I've talked this out with my therapist so much, but the only conclusion we've come up with is that my brain for whatever reason is wired this way. I've tried hard to deny , but I can't . I  spent quite a number of years refusing to allow myself to think about it , but the end result was thoughts of depression and suicide.

[LordKAT]

I've been thinking about this. I don't desire to be the other, I desire to be accepted.

[Alissa16]

I once years earlier;and at more appropriate and doable age confronted my need to transition..I chickened
out..and now, have finally accepted and starting to move in the right direction..But; ohh!! The regrets
of not facing my true self earlier!!Years of additional testosterone poisoning to overcome and the years
to my life to rewrite.

[Zoetrope]

Before transition, you could say all that was visible of my identity was the tip of the iceberg.

Then GD hit from out of nowhere with the force and tragedy of the Titanic.

Now, it's no secret there was so much more to my identity floating below the surface.
---

I guess for me, it wasn't a sense of wanting to be the 'other'. I just wanted to be authentic.

So far, so good :~)

[Mariah]

I can totally relate to this. Since transitioning I have learned so much about myself that I didn't realize or want to know about before that I'm truly blessed to see, know, and even understand now. It just took GD last and final hit to make me realize what couldn't be delayed any longer.
Mariah

Before transition, you could say all that was visible of my identity was the tip of the iceberg.

Then GD hit from out of nowhere with the force and tragedy of the Titanic.

Now, it's no secret there was so much more to my identity floating below the surface.
---

I guess for me, it wasn't a sense of wanting to be the 'other'. I just wanted to be authentic.

So far, so good :~)

[SarahSchilling]

The other?

As already stated by other posters, I too pretended to be the "other" for years and it made me absolutely miserable. I filtered a large portion of my personality and replaced it with traits that I loathed merely to gain acceptance from boys who I really had little in common with, because that was what was expected of me. I never really got that acceptance anyways! Just fake friendships and jealousy of their girlfriends!

Ugh. Thank goodness that's over. Things are much better now

[katrinaw]

Wow had to think about this one Stephanie... but only for a second 

For me: I understood through my childhood, that I could never look female, I was devasted by this thought, so I managed it through most of my life till about 18 years ago. So 12 years ago I started my journey, too scared to be alone, until lots of things lined up! I had to condition my self and believe that one day I will be at one with my mind, soul and emotions. I will very soon now!

So why did I want to be what I physically wasn't? no idea, wish my life wasn't /isn't as complicated as that! But it is and I'll manage it as best I can from now on, as I have in Dysphoria since childhood (long before GID was even labelled)

L Katy 

[stephaniec]

I'm extremely happy now that I have the proper hormones in my blood, but honestly life has been a torment.

[Alaia]

I've always been drawn towards the belief of reincarnation.
Some inner voice keeps telling me that each time we're reborn we change gender to maintain a balance but from time to time we get born into the wrong body thus causing this deep, unshakable feeling that we need to change our gender to be comfortable within ourselves.

I too am drawn to believe in reincarnation and that we have had many lives, both male and female. However, I don't think I was born into the wrong body at all. I actually believe my higher self wanted this experience and that I chose to be born as transgender.

[Zoetrope]

However, I don't think I was born into the wrong body at all. I actually believe my higher self wanted this experience and that I chose to be born as transgender.

I like this.

I do not feel like I was 'born into the wrong sex', at all. There was nothing wrong with me physically, before. The issue was that 'who' I am did not match.

I cannot change who I am. But I *can* change what I am, and how I live.

If there is fate, then my fate is to go through this.