Mental Calm or Clarity? Timing?

[Jacqueline]

Hi all,

Tried searching for this info but did not find exactly what I was looking for. I am sure it is here and my search is just faulty.

I am pre everything. I am married and if you have caught any of my other posts, I am not even out yet.

One of my recent realizations is that my whole life has felt a little disconnected. Not always a fog. More like I am trying to control a puppet. Like trying to do delicate work with dish washing gloves.  I also go through cyclical times of anxiety and depression. I am not looking for a cure to just depression. However, I have read a number of times that certain hormone treatments seem to have a calming and sometimes clarifying effect.

I was wondering if anyone could speak more about that rather than the physical changes. Also, how soon after starting did this occur. Is this something achievable while still presenting male, if that is our decision for a few years?

Perhaps I am just reading into what people have written. It just seems like a wonderful thing after decades of coping.

Not trying to be overly dramatic.

Thanks for your consideration and time,

Joanna

[Rachel]

I think the mental benefits are not expressed nearly enough.

I think 3 or 4 days after starting HRT my mind was starting to clear. It was like recovering from a hangover ( I am clean and sober 17 year). After several weeks the benefits increased and at 2 months I knew I would never go off hormones. My dysphoria became mostly manageable a few months later.

[sam1234]

Hormones affect people differently. If you aren't out yet to your family, that may be causing undo stress. Obvously I can't speak for the female hormones, but depending on how much change you get, it may be very difficult to still present as male for very long.

If you aren't already in therapy, you might want to think about that. When you do come out to your spouse, shared sessions may make the transition smoother.

sam1234

[Mariah]

It was fairly quickly. The calming affect almost made it seem like I was compliant at first. I was so relaxed that in some cases where I would have normally spoke up I didn't. The clearing and clarity were around the same time. Hugs
Mariah

[Metanoia]

I too, Joanna, am looking for that clarity eventually as well - also Pre-everything... clarity and calm... sounds good to me.

[Laurie K]

Starting hormones has left me happier, and able to focus better on life's lil mundane tasks. I sleep better and don't wake all depressed .  Hope things go smooth for you   

[Jacqueline]

Thanks for the quick responses. It is encouraging. I am in therapy but as you noticed am not out yet. It may be awhile but just the promise of potential relief seems great. I have also read among the other topics that some folks react differently and it sometimes takes awhile to shift to the right choice and dosage.

After this amount of time, while I can focus if I work on it, I would love to reach an easier, potentially calmer path to ideas and solutions.

My thanks, and if I can be of help to others, let me know.

Joanna

[Michaela Whimsy]

I didn't believe it would have a mental effect.  I assumed that was placebo affect or simply a better mood/mindset stemming from a change in the right direction.  It has been a few weeks now since starting HRT and the anxiety is next to nil. 

The closest thing I can think of to relate it to are those things you have to train your instinct out in order to perform i.e. posture/hand positions for playing instruments, turning into a slide instead of away to avoid a crash, not having your arms break a fall,  heck as simple as chewing with your mouth closed.  They all become habit with training, but will never completely feel natural.  It's like that type of habit applied to every aspect of life in how I perceived my environment and how I reacted to that environment.  Then, instead of all those basic thought processes being trained habit, it became natural, instinctual.  Funny though, my thoughts, emotions and reactions haven't strayed from pre-HRT (yet), they are just far less taxing to maneuver.