in need of encouragement.....

[amber roskamp]

Ok so I am not one to post this kinda stuff. Usually I am able to work my way out of the negative state of mind, but
I'm struggling with a lot of things so I could use something encouragement.

Ok it's really nothing major just a combination of things. First thing first I guess I just don't have any close friends... Like when I was younger I was always popular despite the fact that I was shy and quiet. I hung out with friends all of the time, and what not. Now I have acquaintances that I see once or twice a month.

Then there is work. I have been so busy at work that it is really stressing me out. I have been working long hours 50+ hours a week and still I can't save money. I make 9.50 an hour. I've been at work so much that I can't even get in to take placement test for college. Which I have to by June.

Now I am also really unhappy with my endo right now. He has me on a super low dose of hormones and my housemate who is trans is at a higher dose in her first dosage. My friends who started a month after me has had much better results because her dose of e is twice as high as mine. And I understand he wants to take it slow but he hasn't even measured my e or my t. And on top of that my insurance doesn't cover my appointment so I'm paying 300 bucks every time I go in. So I'm gonna have to have a discussion with him because it's really upsetting..... Let's see I can't think of anything else, thanks for listening.

[Devlyn]

Big hug! I know what you mean about work, it takes over your life and takes up more of your time than you want it to. Listen, don't compare yourself to other people or their situations, we're all different like fingerprints. Have that talk with your doctor. Do you feel like you're in charge, or are you intimidated during your visits?

Hugs, Devlyn

[stephaniec]

definitely talk to doctor. Working for minimum wage sucks no question about that . I've been through the experience of work not giving a cr-- about your education. Your education is far more important unless possibly if you were making $100 an hour.

[enigmaticrorschach]

i feel you on the work. i make a little lessbecause my job doesnt want to pay anybody. its impossible for me to save money due to bills. all i can say istry and figure out when each bill (if you have any) is due and try to work around that. with me, i dish out 150 the first 2 weeks than the last 2 weeks my whole paycheck goes towards my bills so i figured i save a lot during the first 2 weeks. so try and budget if you can and see were that gets you. not really helpful though because i just now started to learn how to budget

[Eveline]

... Now I am also really unhappy with my endo right now. He has me on a super low dose of hormones and my housemate who is trans is at a higher dose in her first dosage. My friends who started a month after me has had much better results because her dose of e is twice as high as mine. And I understand he wants to take it slow but he hasn't even measured my e or my t. And on top of that my insurance doesn't cover my appointment so I'm paying 300 bucks every time I go in. ...

It's definitely more expensive to see an endo than a family practice doc, but the latter can prescribe the same hormones, do blood tests, etc.

In larger cities, you can usually find a trans-friendly GP, especially if there is a center that specializes in trans health.

Not sure if this applies to your location, but I hate to hear these stories of people waiting and waiting on their endos...

[Laura_7]

Have a *hug*

I'd say try to relax... regularly every day..., a few minutes...


Well tbh if your two friends are happy with their doses you might ask them for their endos... and inquire with them if they would accept your insurance.

You might think about doing a few things you like, apart from tv... this might give you a better feeling...

well you could take a few hours every weekend to practise for placement... and make an appointment, or look for a few possible dates...


*hugs*

[amber roskamp]

It's definitely more expensive to see an endo than a family practice doc, but the latter can prescribe the same hormones, do blood tests, etc.

In larger cities, you can usually find a trans-friendly GP, especially if there is a center that specializes in trans health.

Not sure if this applies to your location, but I hate to hear these stories of people waiting and waiting on their endos...

I tried family practice docs, and all of them ,that are understanding of trans patients and have experience with trans patients, are not taking on new patients. so that's how I ended up with my endo. I Also live in a small city with limited options ( Lansing) and I don't have a car so I have no way of commuting outside of that city.

i feel you on the work. i make a little lessbecause my job doesnt want to pay anybody. its impossible for me to save money due to bills. all i can say istry and figure out when each bill (if you have any) is due and try to work around that. with me, i dish out 150 the first 2 weeks than the last 2 weeks my whole paycheck goes towards my bills so i figured i save a lot during the first 2 weeks. so try and budget if you can and see were that gets you. not really helpful though because i just now started to learn how to budget

yea im not great at budgeting my money. I am like addicted to monster and donuts... most my money goes to food, but then I occasionally spend money on my other needs. I did figure out exactly how much I can get away with spending in order to get by, but I need to learn how to save money, ya know.

I feel like ffs is something I would like to do in the future and the most money I have ever gotten to was like 3,000 dollars in my bank account. so yea who knows how long that's gonna take.


also thank you Stephanie and devlyn

[amber roskamp]

Have a *hug*

I'd say try to relax... regularly every day..., a few minutes...


Well tbh if your two friends are happy with their doses you might ask them for their endos... and inquire with them if they would accept your insurance.

You might think about doing a few things you like, apart from tv... this might give you a better feeling...

well you could take a few hours every weekend to practise for placement... and make an appointment, or look for a few possible dates...


*hugs*

I do know who their endos are but they are out of my range that I can commute in.

and I don't watch tv at all I don't even have a tv in my house actually.

[FTMax]

Are the other transfolks you know going to the same endo?

If they are, ask about their experiences and see if they can give any insight into how they got dosed the way they did, and if there is any detail of their medical history that differs from yours. If there isn't anything major, talk to your doctor the next time you go in and see what his issue is and why your dose has been what it is.

If they go to someone different, ask for a referral!

I know you said you hadn't taken your placement test yet, but I'm assuming that means you're admitted and have student status - have you looked into any of the campus health resources? Even community colleges usually have something on campus, even if it's just an office that refers to off campus resources.

[Mariah]

Amber the best thing we can do in regards to our own care is be are own best advocate. It's hard to say why he has or hasn't done certain things, but if your unhappy with the care your receiving, then you need to let him know. Different doctors have different doses they like to start people on and your medical history can play a role in that. Out of the different doctors I have anytime anyone of them isn't doing my care justice I make sure they know and why. In the case of one doctor it took 3 letters to get him where he needed be in regards to my care. If it helps right the doctor a letter and take it in before hand because your clearly not happy with how things are going now and we can all relate to that. Lastly, I hate admitting this but it's true we can't and shouldn't compare the amount someone else is on. Everyone is different and that is the big thing. Good luck and hugs
Mariah

[amber roskamp]

Are the other transfolks you know going to the same endo?

If they are, ask about their experiences and see if they can give any insight into how they got dosed the way they did, and if there is any detail of their medical history that differs from yours. If there isn't anything major, talk to your doctor the next time you go in and see what his issue is and why your dose has been what it is.

If they go to someone different, ask for a referral!

I know you said you hadn't taken your placement test yet, but I'm assuming that means you're admitted and have student status - have you looked into any of the campus health resources? Even community colleges usually have something on campus, even if it's just an office that refers to off campus resources.

yea its just a community college, but I guess its worth a shot. my endo is through msu. and I do have one friend who said she had my endo, but she switched over to him recently and has been on hormones for years.

I literally have been healthy my whole life. I guess if anything would affect my hormones in my family health issues, it would be my dad had thyroid issues. Im not sure how hereditary that is or how much it would affect the amount of hormones I get. Like last time I had to convince him to get me spiro. He just wanted to keep me on a small dose of e and that's it. which was my first 3 months of hrt.

[FTMax]

yea its just a community college, but I guess its worth a shot. my endo is through msu. and I do have one friend who said she had my endo, but she switched over to him recently and has been on hormones for years.

I literally have been healthy my whole life. I guess if anything would affect my hormones in my family health issues, it would be my dad had thyroid issues. Im not sure how hereditary that is or how much it would affect the amount of hormones I get. Like last time I had to convince him to get me spiro. He just wanted to keep me on a small dose of e and that's it. which was my first 3 months of hrt.

I'd just be frank about it. The worst thing he can say is that he won't increase your dose, in which case you may need to consider finding a new doctor or getting transportation arranged to a better doctor. It'll probably be uncomfortable, but ultimately you're your best advocate.

"I have been on a low dose for 3 months. I have had no negative side effects and X, Y, Z positive ones. I would like more of X, Y, Z now that we know the HRT won't affect me negatively. Can we increase my dose today?"

[iKate]

Regarding the money issue, I make a decent amount but I had trouble saving unless I forced myself to cut spending. So the amount you make doesn't really have to explain your savings habits. I started by redirecting a portion of direct deposit to another account in another bank and that worked well. Maybe you can try that.

Try spending more with cash rather than credit and debit cards. That helped curb the spending too. Once you see greenbacks leaving your hands you will be more likely to cut back. Plus the coins can go in a jar or similar.