I used to think I was immune to this because of how tight knit and cross-sex my friend group is (like we've all been friends since middle school/high school)... but, honestly I'm starting to experience this now too the further I get into my transition... which is kind of odd, because my group has had several gay and bi boys in it, but idk... I've definitely noticed a difference in how I'm treated. I really don't get it given I'm hella lesbian myself so it's not even like I'm romance-able to them.
>_> Really it just shows up with one friend though. My best friend, or I guess former best friend now. We had known each other since middle school, always got along like brothers... hell I even had him listed on my facebook as my brother for awhile as a kind of joke xD He was supportive when I came out... Three months after I started transitioning, he broke up with his girlfriend, who is also a very close friend of mine. He has never really been that open to talking, but one of the things he told me at the time was that he wanted me and my gf to hang out with his ex, make sure she was okay because they broke on a less than high note.
So we did... and we kept hanging out with her and I became pretty close friends with his ex. Still am. Recently though... for like the past six months, he started claiming that I was different. That I had started making inappropriate jokes and acting more aggressive and flirty than I used to... but the problem is I don't recall acting any different. I mean, I had been a little moody thanks to the ups and downs of second puberty but, I didn't think that much... I mean, growing up we were the same stupid twits any kids our age were, we would make stupid jokes, talk about girls, hurl insults at each other while playing video games... you know, the kind of crap you pull when you are a kid. That didn't really change leading up to the transition, and our other friends would occasionally make similar kinds of jokes... but a couple months ago he decided that wasn't cool for me to do that any more, which was fine, i just wish he would have told me... but it seems like he can still make those kind of jokes and comments to the other guys in the group, and they can do the same...
Anyways, last month I got into a fight with him over text message, where he accused me of not listening or caring about his problems. What actually those problems were I've got no idea, given he just doesn't open up to people... from the conversation I gathered that he had wanted to talk about the break up his ex, but that happened a full year ago now, his ex has moved on, he has moved on as well. It kinda sucked because in a way he acted like he wanted me to choose between being how I used to be, and being how I was now, or being with him or hanging out with his ex, and trying to assure him that I just wanted to remain neutral and friends with both of them did nothing.
So I lost my temper in the text convo and I haven't talked to him since. It sucks... but I don't understand any more what he wants from me.
