I need help!

[TheTwelfth]

Hi! I'm Oliver

I'm 17 years old, born male, I'm bisexual, I'm still quite new to this whole thing and at the moment I'm trying to work out what gender I belong to. I'm the kind of person that likes to categorize myself because it makes me feel like a part of something and that I'm not alone. Recently I've had a strong pull to being a female and I absolutely love putting on makeup and getting dressed up and spending times with my female friends and I've had female friends ever since I can remember. The only thing the makes me question myself is that I don't get dysphoria like everyone else seems to get. Sure having a penis annoys me sometimes but it never makes me sick or grossed out.

A lot of my actions are feminine and I enjoy being quite feminine around my friends and when I'm by myself. The problem isn't so much coming out (I've got amazing friends! Thank God), but how to actually approach the situation. I'm not sure if I should talk to my mum about maybe seeing a psychiatrist or something like that so that I can really talk about it with someone. When I look at women I rarely look with sexual interest but more with envy. Like I want to have the body with the boobs and butt and beautiful hair and the confidence but instead I'm stuck in the body of a skinny white boy

Another problem I'm having is with tucking. I've looked up numerous ways but I have absolutely no clue how to even attempt it. This is annoying me because I really want to start wearing women's clothes when I'm with my friends and I just want to try it.

Thank you for your time   

[Mariah]

Hi Oliver, Welcome to Susan's. Your definitely not alone and are among friends now. Level and presence of dysphoria differs for all of us so I would get to hung up by the fact you don't get dysphoric. It's something that should be talked over with a therapist. As far as tucking it will depend on different factors and there are some threads on here in regards to it. I look forward to seeing you around the site. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

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[LordKAT]

Dysphoria isn't necessarily getting sick and grossed out. It is a "profound state of unease or dissatisfaction". The annoyance you feel is the soft beginnings of it. It tends to get worse as time passes.

[Athena]

Before I can even think about starting my transition I need to change other things in my life. That being said I am a MtF transsexual that currently identifies with being male. I don't trigger on being male, though sometimes I trigger on not being able to wear what I want or because hairy legs really bother me (getting so I can't stand body hair). Dysphoria isn't what makes one trans and the lack of it doesn't make you Cis (non trans).

To progress further I might suggest that you start by finding a qualified gender therapist, they would do wonders for helping you find your correct path.

[TheTwelfth]

Hi Oliver, Welcome to Susan's. Your definitely not alone and are among friends now. Level and presence of dysphoria differs for all of us so I would get to hung up by the fact you don't get dysphoric. It's something that should be talked over with a therapist. As far as tucking it will depend on different factors and there are some threads on here in regards to it. I look forward to seeing you around the site. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

Thank you very much

Dysphoria isn't necessarily getting sick and grossed out. It is a "profound state of unease or dissatisfaction". The annoyance you feel is the soft beginnings of it. It tends to get worse as time passes.

I figured it would be similar to that I just wasn't 100% sure so thank you

Before I can even think about starting my transition I need to change other things in my life. That being said I am a MtF transsexual that currently identifies with being male. I don't trigger on being male, though sometimes I trigger on not being able to wear what I want or because hairy legs really bother me (getting so I can't stand body hair). Dysphoria isn't what makes one trans and the lack of it doesn't make you Cis (non trans).

To progress further I might suggest that you start by finding a qualified gender therapist, they would do wonders for helping you find your correct path.

Yeah my hate my hairy arms and legs as well! They're just so gross. Thanks for the help, I'll see what I can do about the gender therapist

[katrinaw]

Welcome, Oliver to Susan's, good to have you join us.

Not sure if you can see a Gender Therapist by yourself, or not, but I would say it would be a reasonable idea to help guide yourself in the right direction...

As far as tucking goes, there are and have been numerous topics on the subject, I used surgical tape years ago, but also 2 layers of undies can work too, tight pair and a normal pair.

As far as Dysphoria goes, LordKAT's summary is good, I had Dysphoria, sometimes bad sometimes not so, but I did learn to manage it / my emotions etc.. It is a very individualistic thing.

Anyway so nice to have you here, look forward to seeing you about.

L Katy 

[TheTwelfth]

Welcome, Oliver to Susan's, good to have you join us.

Not sure if you can see a Gender Therapist by yourself, or not, but I would say it would be a reasonable idea to help guide yourself in the right direction...

As far as tucking goes, there are and have been numerous topics on the subject, I used surgical tape years ago, but also 2 layers of undies can work too, tight pair and a normal pair.

As far as Dysphoria goes, LordKAT's summary is good, I had Dysphoria, sometimes bad sometimes not so, but I did learn to manage it / my emotions etc.. It is a very individualistic thing.

Anyway so nice to have you here, look forward to seeing you about.

L Katy 

Thank you!  All of this advice is much appreciated   

[sam1234]

Its nice to have you here. I think you will feel at home.

There really isn't any "norm" when it comes to dysphoria. Since people come from different backgrounds and cultures, what may really horrify one may be a mild irritation to another. Being a transgender is not being ill, but I'm going to use illness here just as an example to make a point.

Lets say you eat something that doesn't agree with you. It might cause vomiting, while in another person diarrhea, another person might get both and still another might wind up with hives. They all had a reaction to something they ate, but none of them had the same symptoms. By the same token, not everyone is going to feel disgust with their bodies, humiliation or depression when they are a transgender.

Before you decide, spend some time looking at the different presentations here, and consider therapy to help you decide if you are a transgender or not. There is no shame in getting a professional opinion, and sometimes going through it with someone trained to recognize someone who is a transgender but has no stake in the outcome, helps.

sam1234

[V M]

Hi Oliver 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M