Transition thoughts and update. Staying in the positive!

[Dodie]

Hey girls,
I am coming up on 5 months full time.
I had a girl from High School call me and want to buy me lunch the other day!  This has happened a few times.. I have many CIS girlfriends now wanting to help me in any way they can to transition.
Its freaking amazing to me.. to basically be getting advise from people I barely knew in High School but looked up to me back then..
It shows me how much love there is out there..
Things I have been told not to do...
Don't play with your hair so much.. I get that a lot and getting better about keeping my hands out of my hair.
Don't wear scrunchies on your wrist.. I got into the habit of it so I would not lose them... they said it looks to juvenile.
We talk girl stuff.. they ask questions I am an open book.. its really cool to be accepted that way.
I had a lunch last week and she said she is a believer.. in God of course and does not understand what I am going through but accepts it and loves me as me.. who I am.. she said Jesus came to love not hate and she wants to be like that and to be there for me at all times.. said if I am down call her anytime wants to be a friend unconditionally.
It really made a difference in how I feel toward Christians now.. I got into a dark place with them for a while.. but I still believe in God.. I believe God answered my prayers.
With transition.. we go through stages... I have to admit I am a immature at times.. well most the time.. but that is normal going through a second puberty.. I did not think it would happen to me but it has.
I am slowly climbing out of it.. but really into having fun right now..thats a good and bad thing.
My ex goes to therapy too and knows the stages and is patient with me.. She has helped me with clothing, hair, nails we do it all together.  We have nails and hair nights.. its fun.
Skin care has become important... she is my rock.. I am her rock.. together we rock.. seriously.
We have a healthy fun relationship.  I own it now.. being a woman. like totally.. I have left the dude in the dust where he belongs.. but at the same time love him for getting me here..
Life is not perfect.. never will be but I am not going to ever play the victim in life... The one thing that has not changed about me is my desire to do good.. for me and my family and friends.
My ex said I always used to make people around me feel good.. I listened, I cared about what they have to say.. I left people feeling better about themselves.  For now.. I am so inward.. I tend to be selfish.. My goal is to just grow up a little.. get that Mojo she said I had back. I think it will come in time.. Transition is a hard road.. so unsure of ourselves at times.. hormones, just the whole thing is so hard sometimes.
I moved fast.. to full time.. I think too fast but thats me.. doing everything in life fast...
We are all human, make mistakes, learn from them or not.. I tend to make my share of them.. I can laugh at myself at times and then at times I cry. 
I have on these forums helped many people .. encouraged them and inspired them.. you know who you are.  Don't ever give up on yourself.. life is hard sometimes but be a victor.. don't let any group make you feel less than what you deserve to be and that is yourself, hold your head high, and try to stay positive.. Know when it does get hard.. those dark days come and they will.. that the sun will shine again.. it always does.
Proper therapy and growth over time is key.. I wish you all the best in your paths.
Dodie/Keri

[Eveline]

Keri, thank you for sharing this.  It's nice to hear how well things are going for you, and I really appreciate your upbeat posts!

[sam1234]

Your positive attitude will get you through all the challenges you will face. If its any consellation, I would never has guessed by your picture that you ever looked like what used to be your body's gender. You are a very attractive woman.

sam1234

[Dodie]

Sam1234
Wow thank you so much.. love ya for that!!
Dodie

[April_TO]

You are such an inspiration Keri

Thanks for being so generous and for always being there for us.

April

[Dodie]

Thanks April,
Love you too,
Dodie

[Mariah]

Dodie, thank you for sharing this. A lot of what you said resonants with me. The key is we learn and grow from out mistakes and are triumphs. No matter where we are in our transitions and other aspects. I have certainly grown from my imperfections as one of the moderators. All we can do is live and let live. Your true inspiration. Hugs oh and congrats on 5 months full time.
Mariah


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[Dodie]

Thanks Mariah,
Life is such a gift isn't it!
Dodie

[Mariah]

Very much so. Hugs and I'm glad you decided to stay. If you ever need to talk I'm just A pm away. Hugs
Mariah

Thanks Mariah,
Life is such a gift isn't it!
Dodie

[Lady Smith]

Thank you for your wonderful and inspiring update Dodie.  What you wrote about second puberty and being a little immature resonated with me and made me smile because I can remember doing things like wanting to wear pink or suddenly wanting to buy myself a doll or several dolls as my female self began to fully awaken and grow.  I know my Mum who was always my greatest supporter and ally thought I was being a bit odd sometimes being so girly as a 40 something, but Mum was sensible enough to let me get on with it.  I wouldn't be seen dead wearing pink now and the dolls all went to the church thrift shop long ago, but it was a stage on the way and an important part of growing up as myself.

[Jessie Ann]

I posted this over on April's post about transitiong at work because I hadn't seen this post.  I will go back and edit that one and post it here instead.

Thanks for sticking around.  I am very much like you in that I was married for a long time (divorced before my transgender status became an issue), have kids and I turn 54 in a couple of weeks.  I have a great job and am protected by law so I don't have a fear of losing my job.  Like you, I have money available to pay for all the requirements of transition. 

It was reading your story and your posts that made me realize that I could successfully transition and begin this new phase of my life.  I so admire your just throwing yourself into the process.  I am doing the same thing.  You helped me see that there was no reason for me to not fully engage the process and proceed full steam ahead! 

So here I am - a few months down the road and next week my name and gender change will become official, I've had my Adams Apple reduction surgery and I will be living and working full time female in one month.  So thank you for having the courage to share your story with us.  It has defiantly made a difference for me!

[Dodie]

Wow Jessie Ann
Proud of you girl. You like me know what its been like... we are about the same age. I am older but just think when we were young.. we thought we were so alone.. and now.. we know we are not alone and never have been.
Keep that positive attitude.. therapy so good for us too.
I am at that point of where things are settling down a bit.. I am trying to get serious.. but those dang hormones.
You should see me when I wake up in the morning.. I am like a 10 year old.. its really kind of hilarious if you think about it.. then I wake up.. and go OMG.. my dream is coming true... yea!.
Along with the dream.. losses.. but gains to.
I hope you find the gains.. like pure love from the ones who stick with you.. the ones that don't do not matter.. don't ever forget that.. especially casual work associates.. you live your life.. leave them in the dust .. of your booty.


Lady Smith,
You are such a lady..I can tell you are a soft soul.. someone that you hang out with that makes it feel like a sunny perfect day... Love you for your kind words..
Dodie

[Emily R]

Dodie,

I am very glad that you decided to stay. We all have different personal opinions and you expressed yours.  In this case I totally agreed with you, but even if I had disagreed I would have respected your comments and opinion.

Since I am 61 and just started transitioning a few months ago I totally understand your feelings and hope to live my future life like you and a few others that have opened my eyes and allowed me to grow into my feminine self, your comments help in seeing the light at the end of tunnel when I get down, frustrated, disappointed and totally depressed as it is very difficult coping with transitioning while maintaining good a relationship with my wife, who is very supportive and daughter which we are keeping in the dark at this point.

Thank you for your comments on your life experiences, and please continue posting them as they are invaluable lesson to those following your footsteps, or at least they are to me!

Emily

[Zoetrope]

The TG/TS world needs more Dodie spirit :~)

Because I say so.

You mentioned being able to laugh at yourself. I think that's so very important.

We need that foundation of being kind and reasonable toward ourselves. With that, one is equppied to be a positive force in the big bad world.

[PennyW]

Hi,

I've been lurking here for quite some time, and watching the things you've been posting.

Your optimism and reality helped me to get to a place where I'm not fighting against myself anymore. There's still many mountains to climb, and many dark valleys to traverse, but the longest journey starts with the first step.

[Dodie]

Wow,
It's not very often I find myself speechless .
My ex says hello to you all. She read your posts, and wishes us all happiness in our journeys.
I try to also show the struggles I have had. Even though I have never been happier than I am now the journey was hard.
Anyone new to transition that may look up to me should read my old posts to see the growth.
I have read some of them since I am writing a book to help others understand how real this is.
I find myself crying for myself.
That lost soul fighting to become herself.
My therapist once said, what would you say to that little boy if you could talk to him.
Referring to me as a child.
I cried, I had such empathy for myself.
I don't remember what I said.
So when you see me as the happy person I have become know that it was hard.
Fight for who you are.
Well I was not speechless for long was I .
Love you all
Be good to yourselves tonight and the days ahead!
Therapy for me tomorrow.
I told my therapist it was time for me to start charging her. She seems to be getting therapy from me now. I told her I would charge a fair price!!
I don't go as often, seems now we just talk about how wonderful life is!
But then there are those times!!!
Dodie
Ps Thank you Susan!!