I've wanted to be male since the age of three or four, at least that's the earliest I remember. At 15, I tried to bring up the topic of being transgender with my mom. She cut me off, and told me I was never to bring it up again. I was in denial for what seemed like an eternity. I tried to be what she wanted. I pretended so hard that even I forgot that I was pretending. I was always depressed, but couldn't (or wouldn't) realize why. Then when I hit eighteen the memories started coming back. Now I'm twenty-two, and have no idea where to go from there.
