I've never been a fan of the totally ditching your past mindset. Perhaps if you have no real history it's easy to "Redefine" yourself. For me, with over 50 years of history on planet Earth, no easy task.
I also view my gender as say perhaps 25% of all the bits that go into making me, Me. No matter how I am presenting I'd still like what I like. Enjoy what I enjoy, Desire what I desire. Perhaps that explains why 6 years ago when I knew I had to take the trans beast on, for real, my goal was to figure out how to get these two seemingly disparate aspects of myself to happily coexist withing this body. Today I feel I am pretty much there, along with some body work to help things fit better.
Of course, if there are people in your life that are ditch worthy.... I know without any doubt by wife is not thrilled over what is happening with me. How it redefines the marriage, or relationship, the .... intimacy we can share. I still hear her original outcry of "I did not marry a woman". Lately adding to that is "I cannot see you as my husband now with those bumps on your chest" And... SHe is right, on both counts. Yet our love for eachother keeps us together. Just as I am growing, so too will will our relationship change. If the time does ever come either her or I need to amicably end it, it will. It is totally unfair for me to ask, much less expect, her to stay with me. People grow and change over time. With or w/o GD being a factor. People can grow together along similar paths, or completely part. It is just part of life.
Only you can decide "Which pain is worse". Whether or not you whacked off your nuts, as my wife would call it, I cannot see as making a hill of beans difference to your son. To your wife, BIG TIME. What has kept my wife and I together so far are the brutally honest and open and often difficult conversations about "Us". It sure beats trying to guess what your is feeling or thinking. Especially helpful to quell whatever fears that you can
