What if you had the choice to be cis?

[Sharon Anne McC]

*

Would it be preferable to be cis or trans if you had the choice?  Absolutely YES.  No doubts.  I would go in less than a heart-beat.  All other life aspects being within equal and I also must retain all my life experience as I have had them.

In my circumstance with mixed-up female inter-sex anatomy that wasn't what it was I still want to retain this experience - it is mine.  I grew up identifying as female ('I AM a girl!, Mom.' 'I'm gonna do it, Dad.'), raised as a boy, not fully knowing the truth until resolved under exploratory as an adult.  I began feeling doubly-cheated yet doubly-blessed; my nature denied my inevitable female imperative yet had neither potential nor desire for male (and I hated every moment in that male prospect).

You are fortunate if your family and friends remained with you.

The question does not say that my being fully female from my start would have changed my history.  Many here pointed to the fact that they lost all their family and friends they developed as males, as I did; my family would have eventually told me their same good-byes.  I erroneously picked fair weather friends, the ones who chose to reject me; most 'friends' became violent toward me, the remainder faded.  Lessons learned.  I lost socialisation on that balance sheet while solitude gave me the strength to 'live with myself'.

I certainly could use the hours restored to my life - all those hours spent in pre-transition, pre-op, recovery.  Then there is all the financial cost of all the extra medical services and care; that money could have gone somewhere else - whether selfishly or generously for others.

I admittedly have much to be thankfull.  I want to retain the cards dealt to me; I do not pine for what might have been.  Despite all my heart-ache and aside from the question, I would not want to have lived another person's life nor a different life other than doing things better.  I find myself pleased to live among the unique group of us who have lived the two sexes.

Allow this serious note to your fancifull question.

I did research and independent study at both University of Utah Medical School (1981 - 1985) and University of Arizona Medical School (1985 - 1986).  My course based upon your question with admittedly personal and selfish undertones.  After all, we are all developed from female in utero and it is the spurt of testosterone that separates female and male at the end of the third month.   My questions began with 'What happened with the female anatomy (Mullerian Duct) in the male and the male anatomy (Wolffian Duct) in the female?'.  More questions flowed; more hypotheses developed.

What can medical science do to awaken those dormant structures for the inter-sexed and transsexed?  Researchers and biologists and anatomists devised prospects to assist patient re-generated lung tissue, liver tissue, kidney tissue as an aside to the organ transplant programs that I also was studying.  My questions to the transplant studies included:  'Why take the risk of transplant and rejection when we can develop one's own system to re-generate the failed organ?'  'Why not apply that regeneration to Mullerian / Wolfian tissue?'  It is possible using stem cells - at least I am among those who established the theoretical feasibility yet found no corresponding lab work.

Much of the next steps that remain are the supportive medical community to get things moving; that was as much my battle.  Kidney - yes.  Lung - yes.  Liver - yes.  Genital structure - 'H*ll No!' was their reaction.  Such feigned outrage.  Fact is, researchers have been working on re-growing uterine tissue on scaffold structures to implant into the patient.  Success is variable.  These are replacement tissue transplants of the patient's own anatomy rather than vestigial structures (the next step).

I certainly did not have all the answers; I meant my work to add one more piece to the puzzle in the elemental idea that it can be done so that the more experienced in the medical comunity would fine tune it.  It is their turn to do the lab work to continue those next research steps.  Not much has advanced since I got hit with all that rejection and nowhere left to take it.

*

[cheryl reeves]

no,for i wouldnt have met my wife and had the 3 children we have had together..its fun to think about but the reality is i wouldnt change any of my life for nothing period.

[michelle]

Would I rather have been born a cis woman?   Since I am a woman definitely yes.    I know that I am a woman because I have my own personal test for myself.   Would I be more emotionally comfortable being Attila the Hun, John Wayne, or Robert Redford  or can I see myself as Marilyn Monroe, Mae West, or Dolly Parton.   No matter how I look at it I can only be  Marilyn, Mae, or Dolly and I can't even conceive of being Attila, John, or Robert.   

This being said,  the only change in my birth family, my father dying, and my life in my 2nd dad's family would I would have been the oldest girl instead of the eldest pseudo male (butch female).   As a girl I would have had different expectations of myself,  like being able to knit, sew,  take care of my man, and my brother's and sisters, etc.  instead of fixing everything in the world,  drinking unlimited amounts of booze,  being a jack of all trades, living dangerously, indulging in sex,  being able to strong arm and carry unlimited weight, etc.   As a butch female, I tried the male life, but I was emotionally unsuited for it. 

Now given my personally and motor skills the sewing and knitting would have been stressful, but I have a taking care of personality and household chores are not hard for me.   I would have been as good of a cook as my mother,  she did simple cooking excellently.   

I would probably have had as many biological children, but they would have grown inside of me instead of my spouse.   The kids would have been different people, but the kids would have probably been as strong-willed and bullheaded and intelligent as my kids are.   I would been the same kind of dependable spouse,  but that doesn't mean that my husband would not have been the same kind of person my wife was.  And my family would have had the same problems and ended pretty much the same way.   I don't wish my current kids and grandkids out of existence.   But, wishing for and getting any change in circumstance or personality traits, could have consequences for the children you now have.   

I probably would have had all the same emotional struggles and insecurities but because I was not struggling with my gender identity,  I would have dealt with life in a way that had less negative consequences for myself and the other people in my life.     I would have enjoyed and been more comfortable in my sexual relationships with my partner as a cis woman.  I also would have been happier and more comfortable with myself as a cis woman.  In chosing a partner for marriage as a cis woman,  I might have chosen a husband with the same personality flaws as my ex-wife had, and therefore had the same kind of marriage problems.   

Looking at everything being born a cis woman would have changed me, and made me a happier person, but despite everything,  I probably would have ended up in the same place as I am in now,  without the stress of being a woman born with a male's body.

[Deborah]

I would rather have been born straight CIS and not trans either way.

I even used to pray, "fix my body or fix my mind.   Either way so they both match."

I'm a slow learner so it took 40 years of that to finally realize nobody was up there listening.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Qrachel]

I transitioned late in life (58-62) and a lot of life's accumulated living would have been totally different.  It's pretty easy to say "no," and there's lots of reasons why no is a "good" answer for me.  Sooo, no!

OTOH, I also seriously sought the magic pill to cure myself too - that worked poorly just based on the empirical data, for here I am: Rachel the lady I am, I am.

I think being cis (or in my time of transition: GG aka genetic girl) would have been perfect.  However, like the proverbial bull frog I ain't got no wings.  I'm me and I got here being me and that's why I can entertain such a question.

I take E; therefore, I am!


Love ya all,

Rachel

[ToniB]

YES YES YES I would without a doubt prefer to have been born a CIC woman .Being a MAN sucks my life since starting transitioning has been so much better and if I can avoid the horrible bit before that would be the icing on the cake

Toni

[iKate]

The biggest thing for me would be acceptance in my former home country. As it is to avoid danger I have to be stealth when going there.

[estropunk]

I've asked myself this question many times, and if given a magic wand to change my life in that way, I wouldn't. I don't mean to tell anyone else how to feel about being trans, but despite all its pains and trials, I try to see it as a gift. Such a small percentage of people in the world get to experience life in more than one gender, much less getting to experience having a penis and having a vagina at different times. I try to remind myself that I'm getting a strange and exciting life, however difficult. If I had to choose between a life that was challenging and exciting and a life that was comfortable but boring, I'd take challenging and exciting every time. But that's just me...

[cathyrains]

I was under the distinct impression that under prevailing ideology, cisgender and transgender were defined as intrinsic. So the question is logically unanswerable. You cannot choose to be cis and be cis.

[estropunk]

I was under the distinct impression that under prevailing ideology, cisgender and transgender were defined as intrinsic. So the question is logically unanswerable. You cannot choose to be cis and be cis.

Of course that's true - I took the question as purely hypothetical; like, if you could wave a magic wand, re-write history, and be born cis, etc.

[Obfuskatie]

I was under the distinct impression that under prevailing ideology, cisgender and transgender were defined as intrinsic. So the question is logically unanswerable. You cannot choose to be cis and be cis.

Inorite? This is such a possibly contentious question, who on earth came up with it? Oh right, =P
I don't know, I guess part of my whole process is asking existential questions and trying to make sense of my own issues. I imagine that everyone has their own path to acceptance, and this question sort of is a litmus test not meant to irritate people just sample their opinions.
You're all right, it's a dumb question and a great question and I ask myself it sometimes because I can't get out of my head some days.


     Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Isabelle]

I would be cis. I would not wish transsexualism on my worst enemy. I know there are people that identify as trans*, for me that defeats the purpose of transition. I no longer consider myself trans. I know others might but, their opinions don't matter to me now, and they shouldn't have in the beginning but, you live and you learn. 

[Leki]

I would be cis. I would not wish transsexualism on my worst enemy. I know there are people that identify as trans*, for me that defeats the purpose of transition. I no longer consider myself trans. I know others might but, their opinions don't matter to me now, and they shouldn't have in the beginning but, you live and you learn.

I completely disagree. If you are born a man and transition then you are always gonna be trans. It is a silly notion that once you transition, you stop being trans. You are more trans once you have transitioned tbh.

Mod Edit-messages that are not understanding and considerate of all transgender are against TOS 9

[Swayallday]

Then i'd be cis and crossdress

JUST TRYNA BE FABULOUS

[Isabelle]

I completely disagree. If you are born a man and transition then you are always gonna be trans. It is a silly notion that once you transition, you stop being trans. You are more trans once you have transitioned tbh.

I was talking only about my my own view of myself. I made that pretty clear. I transitioned because deep down, I'm not a man. I wasn't "born a man" a was born "a baby"
Ps, obvious troll is obvious x

Modified to remove edited post that was quoted

[Tessa James]

I completely disagree. If you are born a man and transition then you are always gonna be trans. It is a silly notion that once you transition, you stop being trans. You are more trans once you have transitioned tbh.

Also a mtf is always really a man deep down and a ftm is always really a woman, that is the reality of the matter. We have to learn to live with that, regardless of our lifestyle choices.

Hey Leki,

You are liable to hear a storm of contrary opinions on those subjects.   There are many people who no longer consider themselves transgender after transition.  And please understand that your reality is apparently quite different from others.  "always a real" man or woman applies to my "real" gender identity as female.  I conclude that I have always been transgender and have always had a deeply intrinsic female gender identity no matter how I looked.  This thread deals with a hypothetical situation.  Lifestyle choices may pertain to clothing styles or even whether to transition or not.

[wheat thins are delicious]

I completely disagree. If you are born a man and transition then you are always gonna be trans. It is a silly notion that once you transition, you stop being trans. You are more trans once you have transitioned tbh.

Mod Edit-messages that are not understanding and considerate of all transgender are against TOS 9

The good thing here is that you don't get to decide how other people view themselves or their transitions.  The bad thing is that you apparently feel that you get to make that decision for others, and go so far as to state that trans men are "really women" and that trans women are "really men". 

[stephaniec]

the problem for me is this whole thing might be a multidimensional   time lock that has no escape. The thing whatever it is mutant genes , hormones gone haywire , natural evolution , etc. that produces the occurrence of being transgender could be an inescapable fact of your human anatomy that would be produced no matter what gender you were conceive as. You choose to be cis , but being cis is inescapably  connected to who you are .  You wouldn't exist.

[Lady Smith]

the problem for me is this whole thing might be a multidimensional   time lock that has no escape. The thing whatever it is mutant genes , hormones gone haywire , natural evolution , etc. that produces the occurrence of being transgender could be an inescapable fact of your human anatomy that would be produced no matter what gender you were conceive as. You choose to be cis , but being cis is inescapably  connected to who you are .  You wouldn't exist.

True, if I didn't have my DES affected brain, my intersex body and more than likely mosaic affected genetics I doubt that I would still be me.

[Sebby Michelango]

If I had a choice, I wanted to be cis. My life would be difference, but it would be much easier in many ways too.
But since I'm not cisgender, I doesn't take that for granted. Many cispeople take being cis for granted. I'm also more grateful when people call me the right pronouns.

But if I was cisgender, I could go to the swimming pool without discomfort. I could be myself 110% all the days and I could be free. So yes, I want to be cisgender. Being cisgender is a privilege. If you're cis, you doesn't get discriminated because your gender identity and you hasn't gender dysphoria.