Does being openly trans* help others?

[Cindy]

I just thought I'd post this. I deal with many large companies and they send people to see me. My contracts with some are in the millions, so they keep me happy.

When I came out and went FT all of the companies contacted me to offer their support etc. It was obvious that they had talked to their staff to be respectful too me.

Just before last Christmas I had a delegation come to see me, a major company. One of the men was early and asked if he could talk about a personal issue. He told me he was going to come out, finally, as a Gay man. He told me that his company's acceptance of me had pushed his decision. At that time he had told no one. He was very frightened.

The team came back today. The man in question hugged me and gave me a kiss, in front of his colleagues (all male) and thanked me. His colleagues didn't bat an eyelid. They shook my hand

He stayed after the briefing and told me that he had been accepted by all of his colleagues. He now had a boyfriend, he was happy. He told me that I had changed the company's policies (at least in Asia Oceania) both to customers and to staff.

Seemingly any member of the company that is gender diverse is to just tell their manager, when they wish, so that appropriate policy or facilities can be put in place for their health and welfare. No questions asked.

The company is Becton Dickinson a Fortune 500 company.

I think we are beginning to win, little by little

[Nicole]

I think it does, however I'm not out to many people (family, very very very close friends).
Some of my family have taken part in pride marches, my friends stick up for trans issues.

my best friend Charlotte who works in retail as a store manager has even taken action on a staff member who treated a trans person wrongly.

[enigmaticrorschach]

eh.....I'm not out in the open due to my need to stay out of the spot light and avoid attention. however, if someone is curious about my changes and decides to ask, I'll tell them but other than that, its not really something I personally would just throw out there

[Jennygirl]

Heck yes, Cindy! Thanks for sharing. It does seem like the little wins here and there are starting to add up. Even if I think back to a few years ago, trans issues seem so much more at the forefront. Still a ways to go, but it definitely feels to be getting a lot better. Much more positive representation out there now.

To answer the question, yes I think being openly trans helps others. Speaking from my own experience... When I came out it was a huge mind scramble for a lot of my friends, but quickly they accepted me. A few years later, there are now two other trans people. One who started about 6 months after me and another who recently (last month) came out and is beginning transition. Both were accepted with open arms, no questions asked. It is a wonderful feeling to think that the groundwork you laid might have helped others, especially when it is close to home.

Thanks for allowing me to share as well

[Ms Grace]

I was wondering this myself the other day, more in terms of surely most people out there must be aware of at least one trans person, either a friend or relative or a work colleague. The more people know of someone being trans the more it must surely help. There are caveats of course, because not everyone is friendly or accepting or understanding. In Australia the companies and the big businesses know they have to behave themselves it's the small businesses and various individuals who still feel able to bring down the ignorance.

[katrinaw]

Yes I believe it does... and clearly there was a very positive outcome

Pretty inspiring Cindy.

L Katy

[suzifrommd]

In my more conceited moments, I like to believe that my being (relatively) open as a trans woman helps people. At some of the events where I've spoken, someone has come up to  me and come out. But in both cases, I think they would have come out anyway. So I'm not letting myself believe I have a major impact. If I were a more well-known figure, maybe. But that's the curse of mediocrity: My ability to impact the world is limited.

[Julia-Madrid]

Hi Cindy

It's excellent to see how you're working with some of these large (and small) companies, and yes, I would agree that being openly transgender is a help and an inspiration to others.

I believe that many of us should try to serve as informal ambassadors to the cause, or related ones where we can perhaps offer some insight to others.  Fundamentally, I have wanted to educate the cheerfully ignorant HR departments in a few companies where I have influence, as well as perform some informal one-on-one education on the way.  It is only possible to demystify and de-sensationalise the transgender condition if we show just how normal we are, and how easy it is to have us inside companies and contributing fully.

I chose to transition inside my little company of 110,000 employees because I felt safe to do so, but interestingly not because of our LGBT policy, since we're so liberal that we don't have one.  Nevertheless, being openly transgender certainly inspires other people to take big steps in their own self realisation.  Many people comment to me that my original "I am trans" email was highly inspiring, and also made them pleased to be in a company where such things were possible.

I do think that there are some issues.  Some of us pass, and others of us don't, and the question is whether this is an issue or not.  I think that both "types" of us inspire people, but perhaps in slightly different ways, although the final goal remains to demonstrate what is possible for all of us.

Just some ideas...

Regards
Julia

[Beth Andrea]

I know of at least one woman who came out as lesbian because of me ( she told me so).

I don't go around town waving a trans flag (well...unless I'm driving my car LOL), but I am definititely no wilting Lily about myself.

[iKate]

It does. Lynn Conway coming out as an intelligent professional and academic and not the stereotype of a sex worker or show girl has encouraged many.

[martine]

Amazing story that just makes my day ! I like to think of this as some paying forward. People around me are making it easy for me to transition. It is only natural that I work to make it easier for others to live in their true identity.

M


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[Eveline]

...
Just before last Christmas I had a delegation come to see me, a major company. One of the men was early and asked if he could talk about a personal issue. He told me he was going to come out, finally, as a Gay man. He told me that his company's acceptance of me had pushed his decision. At that time he had told no one. He was very frightened.

The team came back today. The man in question hugged me and gave me a kiss, in front of his colleagues (all male) and thanked me. His colleagues didn't bat an eyelid. They shook my hand

He stayed after the briefing and told me that he had been accepted by all of his colleagues. He now had a boyfriend, he was happy. He told me that I had changed the company's policies (at least in Asia Oceania) both to customers and to staff.
...

Cindy, thanks for sharing this story. It strikes me that if one person came forward to talk with you, there may be many others quietly benefiting from your example.

You go girl!

[rachel89]

I think it would probably be helpful to other trans* people on a large scale, but I can also understand not being openly trans*, for some, it is a matter of safety, and for others who have already transitioned, they might not want reminders of having lived in wrong gender everyday. I think a lot of the closet thing with with fully transitioned trans* people has more to do with not wanting to re-live a painful life experience everyday than actual shame about being trans*. When the right time comes, I could possibly be be openly trans when it is relevant.                             ,

[awilliams1701]

I feel the reason why trans rights are behind gay rights is because many of us can and choose to hide. I don't blame anyone that does. Its a scary thought.

As of right now, I personally have no intention of going stealth when I pass. Its my intention to show everyone what a successful (in terms of my career) trans person can be like. I want to shine a light on our community in the best way possible. I feel that I'm blessed to be in a place where I have very few people hassling me and its generally mild. However there are a lot of people I know that didn't know anything about us and as far as they know, I'm their first contact with a trans person. Most of it has been overwhelmingly positive. Its my hope that I can help spread a positive influence twords our community.

I also think its important to mention not long after I came out, a student that I'm familiar with came out as genderfluid. Although he didn't mention me, I can't help but wonder if I helped him to come out.

[Kellam]

I kind of hope that I always stay noticeably trans in some way and I will always stay open about it. I know from my own experience that it has helped me to see people in the early stages of transition out there and owning it. It gave me hope that if I could just buck up the courage I could be free too. If I had seen positive role models in the media growing up I probably would have come out sooner. A lot of my fear about coming out stemmed from society's image of us. We need to show more and more trans people leading run of the mill boring average lives. Because we are just like everyone else and we come from everywhere.

[Erica_Y]

Thank you Cindy for being an ambassador for the community. I do believe it helps tremendously for people to share in a  experience with an openly trans person. It goes along way to establishing our intent and credibility. Education is one of our best tools to change perceptions, remove ignorance and to build out acceptance. Demonstrating self confidence and a positive image goes along way and the benefit is most likely far reaching even if it is not always evident immediately.

-HUGS!!!

[stephaniec]

yes

[Jayne]

Great story Cindy, thanks for sharing it.

Being out and visible as trans definitely helps others, not just trans but LGB people benefit.
Whilst I was in a hostel I had several people confide in me about being LGB, the hostel providers had no LGBT support at the time but as I was out and proud these people felt comfortable approaching me to discuss their sexuality even though their support workers had no idea about them being in the closet.
Today I attended a meeting held by my councils LGBT branch, the main focus of the meeting was about trans issues and the chair of the meeting announced at the start that it was comments I made last year that has kick started this project.
Had I chosen a stealth transition route then this meeting may have not happened, due to Cindy's story and my experience I'll remain out and vocal until my dying breath.

[Athena]

Ignorance breeds contempt. If more people get to know transgendered people they are more likely to realize that we aren't the big bad monster that many hate filled people like to target. When the only information on transgenders that most people get is negative mostly made up garbage then they are less likely to be open to the trans community nor are they likely to support us in our struggles.

[Stevie]

  I am openly transitioning; when I first started it wasn't for altruistic reasons, I just had to it I was in a very dark place. I am full time now but still haven't started HRT, most times I get gendered as female but I know for sure I am not stealth by any means.  I just go about my life now being me and I am a whole lot more comfortable in social situations than when I was before transitioning. This past weekend I even played my guitar before an audience of about 50 people for the first time as me, no one seemed to care about how I looked.  I hope my openness helps others I would not want anyone to go through what I did for 50 years.