i need advice

[Stormy Pichu]

So I'm planning on going to see a therapist... I want to stay HRT as soon as possible but I don't know how to approach the subject especially on a first visit... I want to start HRT because I know I will feel a lot better once I start it. The other day when I came out for like the 4th time in my life (the first three times I didn't have enough support and people said very hateful things so I decided to ignore my gender issues) but after this last time I can't take it anymore, I want to start as soon as possible or ... Or i don't know if I can hold it for much longer :I the depression has engulfed me and I can't take it anymore... I have never been this depressed since the first time in my life since the first time I tried to voice how I feel back when I was 13... I don't know what to do anymore, but after hearing about the costs of the load of surgeries and stuff ...  I don't think I can take it any more

[Laura_7]

Especially if you are depressed you should see a counselor.

If its connected with depression a therapist who has gender on their list might be covered.

There might be ways a hormone therapy might be covered. Some doctors have them declared as for hormonal imbalance.

Concerning surgerys, thats a subject you might talk through with your counselor.
It might even be covered.
Thats not a point to start from. I'd say take it step by step, do the next step that is before you.

I'd say just try to relax, and do it one step at a time.

Concerning hormone therapy, there is the route where you go to a therapist and get a referral for an endo.
And there is the informed consent route where you look up endos who go that route.
But since you have depressions you should look for a good counselor who helps you, and talk it through with them.

Just remember...a journey starts with the first step... just do the first step, and then one step after the other.
And look for some support along the way.


*hugs*

[Stormy Pichu]

I don't even know where to start with a therapist. What if they don't believe that doing that will help me? What do I do? If I were told by a therapist that they won't help me with what I need, I'm not sure I could make it til the end of that day

[Ms Grace]

Depending on a range of things it is unlikely they will have you on HRT by the end of the first appointment. Some of that will depend on where you live (state, country), the local legislation, whether they practice informed consent, etc, etc. most counsellors would probably want to talk to you a few times to ascertain you understand what you are potentially getting yourself in for, to discuss your gender identity issues, why you would like to transition and so forth. Once you get to see a endocrinologist or a specialist doctor it may depend on your health, your weight, and so forth before they get you onto HRT. Yes HRT can help but it isn't a panacea and there are other elements involved in addressing and reducing gender dysphoria. First steps first, find a good therapist or counsellor that is willing to help you. Depending on where you live there may be plenty or you may need to look further afield.

[katrinaw]

I would suggest starting with a therapist.

As far as a discussion goes, they will want to hear all about you... be honest and above all be yourself...

Its tough, but its a massive step and there is a need for a bit of a gating system as some do follow through, others, even after a few years, revert to their original self and go into denial...

And don't let it drive you to despair, just think of your goals, plan how to get there and enjoy the trip, every day will be a win for you, you'll see, You'll be there sooner than you think...
Its taken me all my life! But there are personal reasons too

L Katy 

[Laura_7]

You could have a look here:
https://www.susans.org/Healthcare/Therapists_and_Counselors/USA/Rhode_Island/
and here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=94493.0

and you might ask at trans groups, plannedparenthood, a lgbt center or a school counselor you trust for a referral.


A good gender therapist should help you along. You might talk to them openly, about your hopes and fears. They should support you.
They might sometimes ask some questions that might make you think over a few things but basically should be supportive.
Baseline should be to help you find out what you want and help you along.

And if they are not supportive you might even look for another.

You might ask them beforehand how long it usually takes them until they write a letter for hrt.

The other route is informed consent, where endos going that route have to be found.
There are more endos meanwhile than on the list.
https://www.susans.org/wiki/index.php/Informed_consent
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=141941.5;wap2




in the meantime if you feel like it and want to talk to someone in person, you can call here for example:
glbthotline dot org/hotline.html
they also have a chat

translifeline dot org


have a *hug*

[Stormy Pichu]

I did not know about informed consent... I will keep that in mind c: but I will first try through therapy for insurance reasons, they won't pay for it on informed consent is what I mean... This makes me feel a lot better though... The reason I wanted to start HRT asap is because I know age makes a big difference on the effect of HRT.. The reason why cost is a huge issue is because although my insurance will pay for hormones and SRS... They will not pay for things like FFS and other surgeries... But I want to wait until I finish the hormones to contemplate that

[FTMax]

Almost any mental health provider can write a referral letter for HRT. They aren't going to be the ones prescribing it to you, they just make the recommendation to a doctor that you should be on it. It is typically easier to work with a therapist who has gender experience, as they are best equipped to help you work through transition, make the necessary referrals, etc.

Consider sending an email to the therapist you're looking at and asking if they have experience working with transgender people, and if they are familiar with WPATH. You don't have to say much more than that in the first email - wait for a response and then follow up with what you're looking for if they seem friendly and willing to help you.