Off to the Doctors. (What should I say?)

[T90]

So I'm planning on going to the Doctor's this week, having suffered from increasing anxiety and stress in the last week or so, and I think I'm finally going to mention my Dysphoria (if that's how to describe it). It's clearly not going to go away after all this time, so I need to do something about it.

The only problem is I have absolutely no idea what to say or how to bring the subject up. I wouldn't want to consider SRS, but I am extremely uncomfortable as a male and wish to at least appear completely female, even if that means HRT. How do I bring this up to my Doctor, who has known me for years without hearing a word about this? I don't want to go in there and end up getting ignored because I don't come across as serious.

(I live in the UK by the way, so it will be an NHS Doctor.)

[suzifrommd]

First of all, you are transgender. You don't need to prove that to your doctor, simply report it. The fact that you've never told him before is immaterial.

He is not there to judge whether or not you are trans (you are), or whether or not you are deserving of treatment (you are). His only job is to make sure you get the treatment you need.

It wouldn't hurt to familiarize yourself with the WPATH Standards of Care. It's a long document, but it details what experts have said we need. If your doctor is reluctant to offer you treatment, you will at least know what you deserve.

He does not need to know the specifics of your gender, i.e. whether you're binary or non-binary, only what you need in the way of treatment.

If you're looking for words, something like this might help:

"Dr. Goodmeds, I've decided I need to seek treatment for being transgender. It's something that's been bothering me for some time, and I can no longer ignore it. Please help me get the treatment I need."

Do you thing something like that would work?

[katrinaw]

I recall my first visit a long time ago... I just sat there and blurted out years of pent up emotion, but in short form, I did not think about words like transgender, just i needed to be who i want to be, a woman... He asked me about my plans, I said I was not sure but over time what my intentions are.

He took my blood tests and prescribed small HRT dosages.

Just be yourself.... Be truthful... You'll be fine.

L Katy 

[T90]

Thank you both for the advice.

It seems so easy to just tell the Doctor, but when you've never mentioned it to anyone before, actually telling someone, particularly someone you've known (albeit in a doctor/patient way) for many years, becomes genuinely terrifying.

I'm planning on going to the Doctor's on Tuesday morning, and I do intend on mentioning it. I think I've put it off for so long because of not wanting SRS. I think, in my mind, I'd decided that the Doctor's would only respond to someone who wanted to actually have surgery. I think I've been frightened that I might get laughed at, as it might appear that my dysphoria, at this time, is a purely cosmetic issue. I feel the need to appear and pass as female, including voice, without the need to change my body. But the more I read the more it seems that is still a Trans issue, and that it does count as dysphoria.

I don't suppose anyone knows what a Doctor might say to me, once I tell them how I'm feeling?

[Mariah]

I saw your post and it got me thinking about my first visit with the doctor and even the phone call scheduling the visit with him was even nerve racking. In many ways to this day I think the blood pressure did the talking for me. I was open and honest with him and despite his own feelings made sure I got the care I need. Which in this case it meant blood work and getting me set up with the right doctor for my care. Just be open and honest because they have seen a lot and in many cases have seen this before. Good luck and hugs. Please keep us posted.
Mariah

[Mariah]

In my case they asked questions, but I wouldn't worry to much about what they will say. Just make sure they move you forward with the care you need. Good luck and hugs
Mariah

Thank you both for the advice.

It seems so easy to just tell the Doctor, but when you've never mentioned it to anyone before, actually telling someone, particularly someone you've known (albeit in a doctor/patient way) for many years, becomes genuinely terrifying.

I'm planning on going to the Doctor's on Tuesday morning, and I do intend on mentioning it. I think I've put it off for so long because of not wanting SRS. I think, in my mind, I'd decided that the Doctor's would only respond to someone who wanted to actually have surgery. I think I've been frightened that I might get laughed at, as it might appear that my dysphoria, at this time, is a purely cosmetic issue. I feel the need to appear and pass as female, including voice, without the need to change my body. But the more I read the more it seems that is still a Trans issue, and that it does count as dysphoria.

I don't suppose anyone knows what a Doctor might say to me, once I tell them how I'm feeling?

[suzifrommd]

I don't suppose anyone knows what a Doctor might say to me, once I tell them how I'm feeling?

Could be any one of a million things. Depends on the doctor.

Mine said "You better go see a therapist."

[T90]

I think what I may do is to bring up the fact that for years I've been uncomfortable with being a man, without necessarily being uncomfortable with my sex, i.e. gender rather than sex. I may start by saying that I find it impossible to look in a mirror, and have looked at women and wished I could look like them since I was about 16. Then I can bring up my childhood experiences at a later date. Will that work?

[suzifrommd]

I think what I may do is to bring up the fact that for years I've been uncomfortable with being a man, without necessarily being uncomfortable with my sex, i.e. gender rather than sex. I may start by saying that I find it impossible to look in a mirror, and have looked at women and wished I could look like them since I was about 16. Then I can bring up my childhood experiences at a later date. Will that work?

It's up to you. If it were me, though, I'd ask for exactly what I want.

[T90]

Problem is I'm not 100% sure what I do want at this moment in time. All I know is there's a problem, as I'm sure I wouldn't have felt this way for so many years if there wasn't. I think I'll tell the Doctor the feelings and emotions I go through and take it from there. I am really scared about it though.

[T90]

Didn't get to go to the Doctor's today so have arranged an appointment for tomorrow. Hoping I'll have the guts to bring up the Dysphoria, as it's bothering me a lot right now.