Coming Out and Isolation

[Timberwolf]

I always tended to be a loner and introverted. I recently realized i was transgender, and since then I've been feeling much more social. Has anyone else felt this way?

[Mariah]

Hi Timberwolf, welcome to Susan's. It's actually really common. I was the same way despite having many friends. I just chose to not spend my time with anyone. Never felt the need. Sense transitioning I have been very extroverted. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

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[Violet Bloom]

  Welcome!  My situation was very similar.  The longer you let your mind settle into your new identity, the better things should get.  For me it started with the realization and next joining Susan's.  Spend some time around here and you'll quickly get the hang of it!

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. my walls were much harder to knock down but the simple answer is yes. The complex answer is after surgery I met a great friend and we were together until she passed away 2 years ago. A few months ago I finished off the grieving process and I now have a desire that I have never had before. I want part of my life to involve people who initially don't know my history. This means I need to clean up my image so I am not outed when I first appear. My image was set 35 years ago and there are a few new thing that weren't available back then. I have the place picked out already so it's just a matter of getting ready for that first meeting. I do have a fall back plan should that blow up in my face but most likely my history will be known or quickly found out.

[Kellam]

Yuppers, me too! I was an outgoing little kid but the older I got the more inward I turned. Since begining to transition I find myself wanting a social life and actually feeling lonely. I had accepted being alone as if it was all I deserved. Now I care about myself and I want to see myslef live the life I always wanted. It has happened slowly too. And I have been taking little steps to work on the social anxiety. Everyday it gets a bit better.

[awilliams1701]

Yes I'm starting to feel the need to be more social, but its difficult for me. Its probably the scariest thing left for me until my surgery.

[Timberwolf]

Yuppers, me too! I was an outgoing little kid but the older I got the more inward I turned. Since begining to transition I find myself wanting a social life and actually feeling lonely. I had accepted being alone as if it was all I deserved. Now I care about myself and I want to see myslef live the life I always wanted. It has happened slowly too. And I have been taking little steps to work on the social anxiety. Everyday it gets a bit better.

similar to me, I don't have much social anxiety though. Coming out has great so far. I cant wait for HRT and transitioning.

[RavenL]

I've been called a lone wolf right in my face many times and wasn't very social. But I'm starting to break the barriers around me. Its not going to be easy for everyone its not for me. However now I'm getting used to saying Hello, please, thank you, excuse me etc. I surprised a few people when I moved out of the way and smiled to let them past. Something they have never seen from me. Also I'm slowly becoming a little more soft spoken and now more people are talking to me.

[Tiffanie]

Hi ... I am introverted, shy and antisocial.  There is nothing wrong with being any of these things.  Since I have been accepted and living as Tiffanie I am more popular and happier, but I am still introverted, shy and antisocial 

[awilliams1701]

My problem is that Allen was introverted, shy, and antisocial. Ashley doesn't want to be any of those things, but I'm scared to let go and I'm not sure how. I'm hoping my stylist will help me. She's about as opposite of that as it gets. I also know she cares about me personally.

[Tiffanie]

Antisocial is by choice - I have never liked crowded or loud places.  I will go out with small groups of friends, but a large group does bad things to my psyche.

I am introverted - period.  I live in my brain and do better all alone than working with groups.  This does not mean I cannot function in groups, but it is mentally draining to work in groups.  I need to recharge alone after being amongst large groups.

I am a little less shy than before going full time, but because I am antisocial and introverted I do not want to make a lot of friends or be in any cliques

This was all part of truly getting to know myself.  I function better knowing what makes me tick.  If these traits make you unhappy then it is detrimental and should be worked on.  Being happy should be being happy with as much of yourself as you can rather than tolerating some traits that can be changed.

[Tiffanie]

Sorry ... rambling

[awilliams1701]

I don't like crowds or large groups either, but I used to be uncomfortable in small groups too.

[Tiffanie]

So you're already progressing 

I've had people tell me that I would become extroverted when I became comfortable with myself.  This is just not a true statement.  I am more comfortable with myself understanding my little quirks and how they affect me and those around me.

You may be a social butterfly, and I truly admire those that are.  You may realize that you are happier with smaller groups or only close friends.  It doesn't matter what others think you should do, it matters what makes you comfortable.

[Eva Marie]

More social? Oh heck yeah!

I went from being an antisocial person that was deathly afraid of participating in any kind of event where I might have to talk to strangers (because I could not think of things to say and was awkward) to actively looking forward to doing these things - I've got too many words in my head and can't shut up now

I think it has something to do with finally being an authentic person instead of faking someone different.

[Kellam]

When I say I am becoming more social I mean that so far I actually hang out with the two friends I live with. I am more likely to answer phone calls from other friends. I also am more willing to go and hang out with one or two friends in other situations . I got myself to a trans support group too. Oh, and I actually converse with my coworkers now. I no longer only work in silence. I want to get back to the person who liked drawing attention to herself. Who's idea of a fun night was going to a show, either to see a band or perform in one. I want to be the person who actively pursued an art career. I enjoy quiet but there is a show off in me that I miss and I want to free her again! I have made moves in that direction by begining to blog about my transition. Forcing myself to let my guard down and be vulnerable gives me the strength I need to keep working past my fears.

I will always need my alone time but I need my people time too!

[katrinaw]

Welcome to Susan's Timberwolf

I think becoming social is finding your inner confidence, a sense of knowing who you are, and yes I agree that once you accept who you are all those barriers of social acceptance and fear dissipate.

I certainly became more outwardly once I determined what I need to do, who I was and how to get to what I need to be... despite some setbacks and being too busy sometimes to consider the new me... Certainly my work life went into overdrive, I was able to speak publically, could never do that before! I was calmer and more in control... well at work anyway!

Anyway look forward to seeing you about the forum's

L Katy