Hi. Welcome to the forum.
Anorexia is a hard thing to deal with when you are a guy. For the most part, it is thought of as something that afflicts females, and that makes it hard for guys to accept in themselves. The truth is, there are plenty of guys who are anorexic but don't talk about it.
I don't need to tell you its a problem related to control issues. When you feel you are in the wrong body, and everyone else has the reins when it comes to when you can have each step done, thats one heck of a big control issue. For every year you are anorexic, it takes a year for the body to recover fully. That doesn't mean you can't start a transition until those years have passed.
Transitioning, even the introduction of HRT, is stressful for the body. Without nutrients, the body can't heal. You will get much better results once you can start allowing calories to come in. I know its hard to see the scale change, even half a pound, when you have an eating disorder. If you can concentrate on the goal of starting your transition, it may be easier.
I had an ED when I was younger. 11 years of hell. I still remember how awful I felt physically and how ashamed I felt psychologically. If I would improve for a couple days, I would dream that I had blown it. My whole daily schedule was based on it. Its a hard thing to get over, but once you do, you never want to go back. That said, for some people, its something they have to fight their whole lives. That doesn't mean that they have an ED their whole life, just that they think about it when stressful events come up.
Being a transgender can make you vulnerable to all kinds of psychiatric disorders. It doesn't mean you are weak. Lets face it, you have to deal with social changes, other people's reactions, finding someone who will accept you for the gender you identify with etc. etc. That is a whole lot of stress to put on one person. Its no surprise that secondary psychiatric conditions can pop up. Mainly they are protective devices that have gone too far.
It sounds like you really need to talk to one of the therapists alone and voice your concerns as to how others are reacting to you. Its hard not to be supersensitive to how others seem to treat you. They may be afraid of saying the wrong thing or possibly have never known of anyone who was a transgender. You are in a position to teach others about the problems transgenders face, and how others make them feel. Trying to help them understand may help you.
Don't be ashamed or trying to survive. The fact that you became anorexic does not make you any less a guy.
sam1234
