Parents of Significant Others

[GnomeKid]

Sooooo my new lady-friend decided to tell her parents she was seeing a transman... Why? I cannot say, but thats what it is now. They haven't taken the news well. (which may be why she suddenly changed her mind about me coming to visit her for a week over the summer... depressing.)  I wish she'd waited until they met me... I feel like the news usually comes better after a person has gotten to know and like me a little bit. Anywho.. They've been berating her.  Calling her a lesbian and a slut.  Rubbing it in about the lack of the right parts... that my dick will never be functional.... that they'd never be able to have true grandkids... (by the way we've been together like 3 weeks....... but I do REALLY REALLY REALLY like her and I could see us being together for a good long time)

Any advice on what I can say to her to make her feel a little better?  I don't want to sit around insulting her family at her, but I also want to make her feel good about being with me.  We're not exclusive in any way... I'm just worried she'll find someone else over the summer... someone easier to be with. 

[Laura_7]

Here are some resources that might help you:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,180045.msg1658077.html#msg1658077

Well its up to you what you say since you know them best...
you might take your time... explain a bit about your feelings...
build on things you like to do together...
and being tg can make for a more varied personality for example...


hugs

[suzifrommd]

(by the way we've been together like 3 weeks....... but I do REALLY REALLY REALLY like her and I could see us being together for a good long time)

Whoa there cowboy! Hold onto your horses (and your heart).

Three weeks is nowhere near long enough to know the really important stuff about someone. Will they stick by you thick and thin? Are you really compatible, or is everyone just on their best behavior? Are there bad habits that will be a dealbreaker? Anyone can put up a facade.

Your girlfriend's family sounds awful and abusive. They are making her choose between you and them. This is not about when or how she told them you're trans. It's about where you stand in her book.

I'm concerned that she changed her mind about the visit. If I were you and I saw ANY further signs that she's taking their side that you aren't fully worthy of her attentions, I would run as fast as you can in the other direction and not look back.

You are a wonderful guy, with a lot of unique quality. She would be LUCKY to have you as her boyfriend. If she doesn't see that, she is NOT WORTHY of you, and you're well to be rid of her.

Don't worry about making her feel better about you. That's a decision she needs to make on her own that you have no control over. Worry about being yourself. If she finds someone else, then she doesn't know a good thing when she sees it, and doesn't deserve you.

[GnomeKid]

Whoa there cowboy! Hold onto your horses (and your heart).

Three weeks is nowhere near long enough to know the really important stuff about someone. Will they stick by you thick and thin? Are you really compatible, or is everyone just on their best behavior? Are there bad habits that will be a dealbreaker? Anyone can put up a facade.

Your girlfriend's family sounds awful and abusive. They are making her choose between you and them. This is not about when or how she told them you're trans. It's about where you stand in her book.

I'm concerned that she changed her mind about the visit. If I were you and I saw ANY further signs that she's taking their side that you aren't fully worthy of her attentions, I would run as fast as you can in the other direction and not look back.

You are a wonderful guy, with a lot of unique quality. She would be LUCKY to have you as her boyfriend. If she doesn't see that, she is NOT WORTHY of you, and you're well to be rid of her.

Don't worry about making her feel better about you. That's a decision she needs to make on her own that you have no control over. Worry about being yourself. If she finds someone else, then she doesn't know a good thing when she sees it, and doesn't deserve you.

Yea... I know.. we did work together for a while before that.  Including some pretty high-stress situations where true personality tends to come out, but I agree.  (and also by a good long time I don't by any means assume it would be long enough to get around to discussing children!)

and thanks <3 ... confidence in this situation is definitely something I'm lacking (even before the parent situation) which I know puts me in a rough place emotionally and logically.  I truly appreciate your words, and I'll probably come back to read them again when logic begins to escape me.   

and thanks to Laura as well!