I just came out....

[Jazmin]

So i just came out to my mom (literally 10 minutes ago) and all my mom said was: "well talk about that as soon as your dad comes home from work". So im left with about 2 hours until he comes home and im sooo scared of whats going to happen  do you have any tips for me? Or can i maybe talk to somebody via skype or kik? I would really appreciate help right now because im just feeling so.....weird.

[Devlyn]

Big hug! You did good already, just be honest and remember that there may be confusing emotions for everybody. You're going to be the one with the most experience, so be the leader.    Remember that they'll need time to work through it, and we would be willing to talk to them here, of course. I hope it goes well for you!

Hugs, Devlyn

Also, +1 for being brave and making this big step!

[Dena]

I have to leave for work soon but each of these conversation has to play out according to the others knowledge and attitude. Be as honest as you can and try not to get angry with them. This is very new to them and they will not understand. If they have questions you can't answer, please submit them to this thread and I will be happy to answer what I can for you. Stress to them that is isn't their fault or your fault. It is something that was present before birth and nothing could be done to change it. Also tell them there are people out there who are willing to help them understand and that you will always be the good person that you are and will continue to love them.

[Laura_7]

Have a *hug*

Relax... calm down... take a few deep breaths...


you might have a look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,180045.msg1658077.html#msg1658077

Well its up to you what you say since you know them best...
just take the time you need...
if you are dependent you might consider...

some people show some materials like vids later... but I'd say that has time...

you might say you will be essentially the same person, like a male/female twin... with the same sense of humour...

and you might say you want some counseling, with a gender therapist, who could help you through this...

concentrate mentally on a good outcome...
take a few deep breaths... *hugs*


by the way there is a chat on susans...


hugs

[Jazmin]

So we talked about it for like half an hour and the first reaction was quite good. I didnt get kicked out of the house nor did they react bad. Im glad that my parents are that tolerant. We even started talking about when to go to the doctor/therapist already. Guess things are starting pretty good! One last question. Can i go to a therapist with the ensurance paying the sessions without having to go to a normal doctor? I live in germany by the way.

[Girl Beyond Doubt]

You can ask your insurance company for a list of qualified psychiatrists, you do not need to see a normal doctor first. And yes, they pay for the sessions if the psychiatrist is registered with them.

[Dena]

Good job, I know how hard that was on you.

This is hard on your parents and it will take a while for them to come to terms with it. Please try to give them your understanding and love because they have just shown a great deal of love for you. Most likely they are in a state of shock right now and their attitude will change after this has had time to soak in. When that happens, I suspect there will be more talking and questions so you will need to help your parents understand what you are going through.

I don't know how your insurance policy is set up and that is something your parents will have to check out. In the United States each company writes what they cover and how they cover it. My guess is you may have to see the primary care doctor for a referral but you shouldn't fear it because you are going to see far more doctors before this is over. Please keep us posted and the offer still stands for your parents if they have questions.

When I did this, I was so nervous that it took 3 days before I could eat more than a few bites of food. I hope you are able to recover faster than I did.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[Jazmin]

I can fully understand that they need some time. I just hope everything will be fine in the future. As long as it will be, i dont care how long it takes.

[Jazmin]

Also, Thanks for all the replies! I really appreciate your help!

[Laura_7]

Well done

It depends how it works in your country...
its possible you see a psychologist (looked up by your doctor or by you) who refers you to a therapist...
or its possible you can go to a therapist directly...

depending on if you live near a big city there might be transgender groups close by, where it might be possible to ask for a referral to a therapist...
another possibility might be to ask at a lgbt center... I'd say just keep looking, don't be satisfied with standard answers

baseline I'd say talk to people... ask questions... and if therapists are not supportive look for another.
but keep thinking positive

have a big *hug* and sweet dreams

[Jazmin]

Got another question: as far as i know corset training doesnt make your rib cage permanently smaller or thinner (dont know the right word, im pretty young and dont speak english as my native language) because sooner or later your body will go back to the original shape. But i also know that the anti-androgens and estrogens stop your body from masculizing. So what if i would start corset training while on hrt? Would it result in a permanently and more female looking body shape? Thanks for all the hugs by the way <3

[Dena]

At age 13, don't worry about a corset. Your body still as a fair amount of growth left in it and the blocker will deal with the worst of your problems. In my less modest days I got a way with a bikini and I have a large rib cage. You will have to ask the doctors what the blockers will and won't do but not all GGs have an hour glass figure. Being a woman isn't as much about how you look as how you feel. Once you get that down you can be happy even though you have a few physical flaws. This state of mind takes a while to happen but when I look in the mirror, I see a tall woman with a large shoulders and rib cage with undersized hips but thats me and I love every bit of it. I wouldn't trade it for a little sexy model.

[Matthew]

If you're thinking of a corset (I wouldn't recommend you use one) and do indeed decide to start using one, please use it safely.

Never do it too tight or get one too small, you'll only hurt yourself and then probably have to stop wearing it.

HRT will redistribute fat to your hips to give you a curvier body, don't worry!


Also, congrats on coming out! That was a really brave thing to do

[KellBelle14]

I remember when i came out... stressful