Ready to go "out"

[RavenL]

First off I hope everyone's not getting sick of little Raven's posts

Anyway its weird I don't have much confidence at work. But right now I don't have any fear going out into public as my female self. I'm really considering just going to a small grocery store tomorrow night around eight or so. Its never ever busy and zero percent of the workers no who I am. And no one that i know ever shops there. I'm pretty confident that with a little extra makeup I'll be able to pass. I've really been working on my mannerisms and pretty sure I can pass as bio female. And I've figured how to swallow my Adams apple while holding my breath if I walk close to anyone.

The only thing that worries me is my voice. But they do have self checkout machines so I can almost 99% be sure I wouldn't have to talk to anyone. And if I need worse comes to worse I can make a high pitched voice that sounds alright but not great. Just realized if I'm going to do this I'm missing the most important accessory a purse! Also do you think a hat might be a good idea? I now its silly but in some mystery novels a character would wear a scarf or a hat to draw attention to that and not their face. 

So I'm really just asking for an honest opinion should I go through with it or not? 

[Mariah]

Hi Raven. We love and enjoy seeing your posts. Dress as much or as little as you like for that outing should you decide to go out dressed up. A purse is nice, but if you don't have one yet don't worry about it. You can always pick up one on one of your outings. I wouldn't worry about your voice to much early on. These early attempts are great chances to work on it. The key is there is no reason for this outing to be stressful and just have fun with it. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

[iKate]

Don't get upset if people misgender you the first time. It takes time to figure it out and get it right.

As far as a purse goes I ended up with a phone case which looks like a wristlet. It has card pockets and a cash pocket. I only put four cards there, Amex, visa and two ATM cards. I mostly use Amex anyway and also via apple pay on my phone.

[CarlyMcx]

You can find a cheap purse on Ebay.  Just remember to make sure the purse somewhat matches the outfit -- don't carry a leather purse when you are wearing jeans (unless they are really expensive designer jeans), and no denim totes with a wool skirt.

I wear wool felt dress hats regularly in guy mode, and will probably carry them over into girl mode if I ever get to either being out at work or a point where I get to go to a place wearing business attire.  Make sure the hat matches the outfit and is right for the shape of your face.  Example -- I have to wear a wide brim fedora now because my face is long top to bottom.  A stingy brim makes my head look like a cucumber perched on top of my shoulders.

[RavenL]

Oh my, I must admit and didn't expect such positive answers for some reason. Thank you so much for the replies it makes me feel better.

I'm working up the courage right now just to drive down to the Wal-Mart the next city over. I'll go in icky guy mode and find something I like. Since I kind of went crazy every dress I own is purple so I need a green purse or wristlet to match. I need to massacre and eye liner anyway. And I really don't give a crap if the overnight people see me. I was already thinking a wide brimmed hat since my face is longish. At least I figured out how to use bangs to my advantage for that!

Um, what color shoes would match purple? Everything I have right now is black.

Thanks and hugs from Raven!

[Ms Grace]

Black matches purple. Some shades of green go very nicely with purple too. You'll work things out eventually - when we start we're trying to capture a whole lot of fashion, style, makeup advice that cis women have been learning since they were girls.

[RavenL]

That's what I thought when I got the black shoes. I guess faking not watching The Today show at work has given me some tips. I did manage to get a light green purse just a few minutes ago. It looks like it will go good with my purple. Thanks Grace I really appreciate you're advice!

[Cindy]

WoW, what a great girl you are!

As others have said, be ready for and dismiss any misgendering, odd looks or comments. You are you and have every right to be you.

It doesn't matter how people react to you, it is how you react to others. Be yourself, confident (even when you are shaking) and polite.

And be careful. When you are going back to your car, have the keys ready to get in straight away. Keep to well lit places.

But most of all, enjoy!!

Oh and remember to breathe

[RavenL]

Cindy, can you read my mind or what? Driving home from work tonight walking to and from my car tomorrow occurred to me. And  I thought "Its going to be a good idea to have my keys in my hand." I mean its awful us and CIS females have to worry about doing that. Its something that I never give any thought as an icky guy. But I guess my brain is really rolling since I'm starting to think about that stuff. 

I'm really just planning to relax keep my shoulders down, walk with my hips and say hello world meet Raven!

[RavenL]

Om my gosh! I managed it and passed! There was one guy that I used to work with that looked right at me and didn't catch me from fifteen feet away! Here's what I wore.

Can't see all of it but its a pretty short cocktail dress I got today. I was talking to my sister while taking the picture and she was making me laugh. Also took a another since she wan't to see more of my makeup.

I really took my time applying it and she said it made me look really natural.
And it really really felt weird to be sleeveless. And I kept trying to pull my sleeves down!  Anyway, No one even paid any mention to me at all. And I had many people walk right past me. I did catch one guy out of the corner of my eye checking me out! I never really thought about getting caught at all and just did my own thing.

So anyway as of now I'm super comfortable going out. And I've kind of made my mind up until HRT makes its effects known I'm just going to shop the next city over as Raven all the time!

[Dena]

First, please don't use a short focal length lens when you take your picture as the one where you are on  the phone is far more flattering. Short focal length lenses give that fishbowl images that makes any face look strange. Professional photographers use longer lens when doing portraits for that very reason. If you need to have your mother or somebody else take your picture. 

Now for not having any help, you have done a fantastic job and I think you are very passable. One tip about the Adams apple and until I had mine shaved, I would wear a scarf around my neck. The way things worked out I had it shaved before I went full time so I still have a collection of lightly used scarfs that are over 30 years old. Maybe some day they will come back in fashion.

As for the voice, I can give you some tips but i warn you in advanced than it is hard to raise the voice of a MTF and it will take some work on your part. It is much easer to lower the voice for a FTM. PM me if you are interested.

[RavenL]

Dena actually both of those pictures we're taken with same camera. Just had it way way to close to my face. For every good picture I manage to take I take another fifty bad ones.

Thank you for thinking I've done fantastic. I've always been passable at painting so I just saw my face as the canvas and went to town. I'm already planning to buy a scarf for the Adams Apple but right now it was still close to 80 degrees tonight. So I would've drawn attention towards me. But its for sure in my future once winter comes along. Oh how I look forward to wearing comfty winter coats!     

[Dena]

The type of scarf I am talking about is thin and silky they are used more to accent an outfit instead of to keep warm.
Try looking here http://www.amazon.com/b?node=2474943011 for ideas.

[RavenL]

Oh alright now I understand. Sorry I was just  a little sleepy last night and not thinking straight. As if I need to spend more money oh well. Thank you Dena I've already found one that looks good. Plus I needed a reason for another Amazon order anyway.

Hugs Raven