How do you all deal with jealousy?

[kitty]

A  big problem I have been encountering recently is my jealousy. Whenever I see another girl who is further in transition, has had surgery, or is more feminine; it gets me SO upset. I usually go through short phases where I will be happy with my appearance, but then I'll see a trans girl who I think is more attractive and it kills me.

Do any of you have similar issues? Any advice?
<3

[mmmmm]

I saw a lovely pregnant lady today, and I got quite jealous for apparent reasons...

Once you will be far enough into transition you will be more comfortable with yourself, and however other cis or trans girls look won't make you feel worse about yourself...

[suzifrommd]

Welcome to womanhood, dear. Nearly all women have pangs of jealousy when they see another woman who looks theway they wish they could. Some ignore it, some fight it, and some let it eat them up, but most of us, cis or trans, feel it from time to time.

Part of the journey of womanhood, whether you're cis or trans, involves coming to terms with the fact that you will not be as attractive as you want to be. Even very beautiful women go through this.

I pray for acceptance of myself as I am. I'm not terribly religious, so I pray to my inner strength. Seems to work just as well.

[Miharu Barbie]

Hi Kitty Kat,

It might sound a little whacky, but I am very fond of the practice of Ho'Oponopono.

Ho'Oponopono is a Hawaiian meditation/spiritual practice that is super simple, straightforward, and powerful in its application. 

For a full explanation of how to use Ho'Oponopono and how it works, check on Youtube for Dr. Hew Len's description, or check out Dr. Joe Vitale's book, "Zero Limits".

I find the Ho'Oponopono practice immediately disrupts the negative thoughts and feelings that come up with experiences of jealousy.  And once I've disrupted the negative thoughts, I find that I have all the power in the world to redirect my thoughts and feelings to something that feels better and is more constructive.

I hope this helps.

[fadedreflection]

As an FTM, I get this way, too. Usually, I decide what about them makes me jealous, and if I really like it, I try to somehow incorporate it into my own style somehow. (i.e., workouts, makeup, etc.) If it's something that I can't change, I try my best to feel admiration for them rather than jealousy and remind myself that I don't look too bad. [emoji14] and then work on something I can change

[JoanneB]

After 50+ years of knowing I should have been a girl coupled with 30-40 years of using diversions, distractions, and denial to "get by" I saw that I needed to take the trans-beast on for real. The absolute last thing on my mind at that time was transition. Been there, tried it twice. Instead I found a fantastic support group.

Over the course of the last 6 years now, I've seen several scared, questioning, newbies join us and in a short time (to me) going full-time and fully transition. All while I am doing my best to hold a male life together, dealing with a sick spouse, and providing for us. All while I started HRT, therapy, experienced the shear joy of being out in the real world as the real me, achieving my life-long dream of being seen as and accepted as a woman.

You bet I am jealous and envious. Of my group members, cis-women. Hell, even cis-males! I sometimes wish things can be that clear cut for me.

We all need to do what we have to to survive. That also entails juggling priorities. My life, your life, their life, circumstances and life priorities are different from others.

[chloeD33]

Yes I do strongly at times. Then I remember I am who i am (sorry for the Popeye talk lol) and just accept it. Besides you are not ugly at all <3 Chloe!

[antonia]

I get those moments when walking down the street, then I stop and force myself to look at ALL the other people around and I realize life is good, I try to be thankful for not having a crippling disease and being able to live my life out there every day the way I am.

[CarlyMcx]

How do I deal with jealousy?  I go shopping.  Buy something pretty.  It always works.

Seriously, transitioning is not a race or a competition.  Transitioning is life, and your transition is yours, no one else's, and it is unique to you.  Cherish it and enjoy every moment of it because it is yours.  And be happy for those who have their own moments in transition.

[ashley_thomas]

Gratitude - look at yourself in the rear view mirror and see how far you've come, see others just beginning or not doing as well and realize you're doing great, help those that are behind or struggling, etc.  That works for me.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk