Where to start?

[ashelyharleen]

I've done a lot of research online but I don't have any transsexual friends or real people to talk to before now, so how is the best way for me to begin my MtF experience?

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[suzifrommd]

I've done a lot of research online but I don't have any transsexual friends or real people to talk to before now, so how is the best way for me to begin my MtF experience?

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I started by going out periodically as my female self. I created a sort of "checklist" of the things I'd need. I went out once every week or two to see what it was like.

Some find going to see a gender therapist helpful.

[ashelyharleen]

I started by going out periodically as my female self. I created a sort of "checklist" of the things I'd need. I went out once every week or two to see what it was like.

Some find going to see a gender therapist helpful.

When you say going out as my female self, do you mean dressing up? Make up and all and shopping! Or something else?

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[iKate]

When you say going out as my female self, do you mean dressing up? Make up and all and shopping! Or something else?

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Whatever you want.

I started with small things. Underwear. Femme tops. Fragrances, nail polish. Etc etc.

I still don't go out with a lot of makeup and I'm practically full time now.

[ashelyharleen]

Whatever you want.

I started with small things. Underwear. Femme tops. Fragrances, nail polish. Etc etc.

I still don't go out with a lot of makeup and I'm practically full time now.

Oh ok, that's sounds good, I need to go shopping then. I've been playing the male stereotype for my family for about as long as I possible can till now.

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[mmmmm]

...so how is the best way for me to begin my MtF experience?

- getting appointment with therapist who is experienced in this field
- starting with hormone replacement therapy as soon as possible
- start with facial hair removal (laser/electrolysis) 
- start saving money, a LOT of it... you might need it for facial feminization surgery or voice surgery or SRS

[Mariah]

These things for sure and then anything you feel comfortable doing early on be it in regards to clothing or other things that you might start with around the house before going out would be a good addition. Hugs
Mariah

- getting appointment with therapist who is experienced in this field
- starting with hormone replacement therapy as soon as possible
- start with facial hair removal (laser/electrolysis) 
- start saving money, a LOT of it... you might need it for facial feminization surgery or voice surgery or SRS

[ashelyharleen]

What is the difference between laser abd electrolysis?

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[Mariah]

Laser targets many hairs at the same time, but they need to be dark colored hairs. Electro targets each hair separately, but doesn't care about what color it is. Hugs
Mariah

[Hardyharhar]

I'm in the early stages, and the first thing I did was make appointment with a gender therapist as from what I heard there can be quite a wait time unless you can fork out $180/perh or have private health care. To satisfy the female in me in the mean time as I dont feel I'm ready to go full time for a long while, I paint my toenails, my fingers with clear strengthening polish, grow my hair out, I'm a very masculine male build so losing some weight and preparing, I waist train to achieve a smaller waist (inexpensive). I have been stocking up on makeup, practicing a better skin routine, pierced my ears. Theres lot on my check list!!

[ashelyharleen]

Yea I get you, and it doesn't help that my main source of income is primarily male employed. Lifting and such. But I'm def gonna grab my girlfriends and go out shopping and they're going to help coach me along, cuz I've always had male stuff shoved down my throat... That came out weird but you get the idea haha.

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[Jacqueline]

Strongly agree on the therapy end. It will help you sort through things. Also if you plan to transition at all, you may well need letters from a psychologist or two for at least one step- perhaps a few.

Good luck on your explorations.

With warmth,

Joanna

[RavenL]

I'm kind of in the same boat you are in Ashley. And here's what has really helped me out so far.

Well first off this forum is wonderful and I've found so much support. And being able to write it down really helps me out.

As others have said go see a therapist. I haven't gone to one yet but I'm fixing that in a few hours. This is a good site to find one https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/?tr=Hdr_Brand

It sounds like you already have the clothes thing covered if you have girlfriends to shop with. So that is going to be a goldmine of information for you. Biggest thing is making sure everything matches when you wear it. Also go easy on the makeup. Try not to hit the princess phase with way too much.

Get your walk pattern and mannerisms down. One of the biggest things for passing is actually acting like the gender. Turn your hands 45 degrees so your forearms face forward, walk with your hips, let your body flow as you walk and also walk in a straight line. Keep your legs closer together when standing. Make sure to cross your legs this is mandatory when wearing a skirt. Try not to look like you are leaning forward while walking. Males usually have their shoulders hunched forward start keep yours shoulders hunched back. This will help make you look less muscular.  The other night at work I'm pretty sure I saw a couple cross dressers that were trying to pass. But they were not doing that great of the job. They had on high heels that made them taller then me and I'm 6'3 and the walking pattern was really stiff and just did not look right. I don't know I might have been wrong.

Make sure you are polite and yielding towards people that come towards you. Just don't be meek be polite. And when you smile use your lips and maybe show just a little teeth. Males show a lot more teeth when smiling. 

Also one big thing don't keep looking at the ground or avoid looking at people. You'll end up getting more looks from people since they'll since that you are being self conscious. You'll just end up drawing attention to yourself and might end up  getting clocked. Just have confidence in yourself and if you do get looked at weird shake it off. 

One good thing to do is maybe go to a mall or cafe and just relax and observe how gals act. Just make sure you don't look obvious.

As for your job being physical work I can understand that.

Hope this helps you out
Raven

[suzifrommd]

When you say going out as my female self, do you mean dressing up? Make up and all and shopping! Or something else?

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For me, it meant going out as a possibly passable woman. I wanted to see what that would be like, and use it as a jumping off point to refine my look and my female lifestyle.

You don't have to go that far, but it really helped me to see what my life would be like if I were to transition.

[ashelyharleen]

So much, thank you

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[Riley Skye]

I started off by cross dressing for a few years then I found a therapist who helped me sort out my feelings and dysphoria and she helped me get access to medical treatments pretty fast

[Emileeeee]

Baby steps work with getting out of the house too. I started with everything except the makeup to go get the mail (apartments) or take out the trash which was about a 50 foot walk with minimal human contact. I tried wearing one or more pieces of visible women's clothing on a daily basis, like shoes, coats, t-shirts, fragrances including deodorant, etc. I shaved my legs and wore shorts. After so many months of doing that and nobody noticing, I started doing everyday things in full femme attire like putting gas in the car, going grocery shopping, visiting friends and therapists, etc. The hardest part is that first step, but you can never truly know if you need to be accepted as a woman if you don't actually try it to see what it's like.

[KittyKat]

Think everyone has it pretty much covered. A little trick I used to use with makeup was to put light coverup on my face first and then foundation with bb cream to hide beard shadow. Now I really don't wear makeup after I want to say 10 times at laser. When I started I kinda dived in and went for as passable as I could with breast inserts and a corset, it's kinda funny to think that now I shave my face every 2-3 days and legs 1.5 weeks now and just go out.