Is it normal?

[ashelyharleen]

Is it normal to hold back? I really don't want to hurt my parents, or grandparents. I want to transition but... Can anyone help? Has anyone been in my shoes?

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[Mariah]

It's completely normal to want to hold back. No one wants to hurt those they love and care about. Eventually some of us, including myself, got to a point where we couldn't do that anymore and had to move forward with our transitions. In the end, you need to find what works for you.  If it helps make a list of the pros and cons of waiting or telling them now and starting your transition. Hugs
Mariah

[Jessica Merriman]

It is normal to feel that way of course as all of us have. You just have to decide if you have the right to a life how you want it or just assimilate and be unhappy. You can hold it in a while, but some day you will hit a tipping point. The longer you wait the harder it is to undo all the wrong hormone poisoning. You can live life for you or everyone else, your choice. They lived theirs so shouldn't you be able to live yours?

[katrinaw]

I have and still am...

I did hold back, from when the world changed, for what I thought was all the right reasons, now its hard to undo all of that, there will be collateral damage...

Advice: don't hold back unless YOU yourself have a strong reason too, and as Jessica said its very hard to undo years of the wrong hormones running around in you.

L Katy 

[Magik]

My personal experience was growing up being called a tomboy, and feeling very dysphoric, and when I discovered that there was a word for what I felt at age 13/14 it changed my whole world. Unfortunately, my dad was my hero growing up, and he just didn't understand, and I tried to suppress who I was for years to try and make him happy.

Reality is, I was just making myself miserable, and if he can't accept me for who I am, then I just have to be thankful I have some good childhood memories and let go.

I think it's probably normal to hesitate to tell the people we're afraid we might disappoint or upset because we don't want to lose them, but living life in a stalemate and worrying about what-ifs for years... Well, I can say it's not fun.

[RavenL]

It really comes down to you have to gauge how parents, grandparents, etc will react. What I did was come out to my one sister that I'm really close to pretty much knowing she'd be alright. And after that I ended up coming out to my mom plus my other sister. Since I really couldn't deal with having to be two different people all the time. I was worried sick that I'd be yelled out and stuff. But now I have three people that really love me.

So my advice as others have said. Don't hold back if its making you unhappy, unless you have a really good reason to. Its no fun having to torture yourself on the inside.

Raven L