soooo iunno were to start lol, im bloody exhausted and haven't really been sleeping all to well, even though i feel amazing. after knowing who i am for the past eight years, ive finally told my mom and sister about myself.
funny thing, i didint intend to let my sis know untill i told my mom, but i was in complete panic mode and couldnt handle it, so i called her and cried my heart out to her about it, and she did an amazing job of calming me down. espicaily when she said shes been waiting for this call for years lol, she prolly knew before i did from the sounds of it, or had an idea anyway.
but fastforward five minutes after the phonecall and my mom shows up at my aparment complex, which long story short is run by the local mental health center, so i had a few peopls there with me when i told her, but.. it was. wow. kinna underwhelming to be honest. i was expecting fire and brimstone to some extent, but when i came out and said it moms first words were "im not sure i know what that means" and when i explained it to her, she said she loves me and just wants me to be happy. which was obviously a major weight off my shoulders, but, as there is always a but methinks she also said she needs some time to process, which is perfectly understandable o suppose, me and my consolers there gave her a few websites and whatnot to visit, and information on the local support groups and whatnot. but im major nearvous of what shes thinking and wanting to help in anyway i can, but i really dont know what ot say to her now as i dont want to smoother her with all this. iunno. im still stressing out pretty big over it i spose. even though for the most part everything went amazingly.
guess im just asking what i should do? cause im lost. i called her early thismorning when i woke up crying my eyes out thinking about my dad, and just hearing her voice was calming and i told her such. but im really afraid of whats going on in her head, as many of my extended family members on her side of the family are a bit.. well, overly realigious me thinks. mainly her sister. and ive no idea what their telling her or what shes looked up on her own and its just. uhg. its getting to me girls, i dont know what to do.
i have this email draft saved that i was gonna send but didint, like i said i dont know what to do.
ima start by asking what you guys think of the letter n wither or not i should send it.
https://www.susans.org/wiki/An_open_letter_to_the_parents_of_transsexual_children_No._2hey mom. love you lots! i thought this might help a bit, the terminology is a bit dated, it was writing in 90 after all, but the messege is there.
i know this is really hard, it is for me to, i just want you to know any question you have ill do my best to answer for you. its gonna be a long road but i'd love if you were there to help me along when i stumble and fall, as i know i will. you know me, i wish i could make this easy, and magically make everything better, the last thing i want is to hurt you in anyway, but this is something i NEED in order to be happy. truly happy. i love you mom. i dont know what else to say, i love you and i want you to know that im as scared as you probably are right now.
i know your not gonna magically know what to do or feel, so take all the time you need. but please, ask me if you have questions. i want to help you understand.
love you mom!
