Yeah, so I went to my first PFLAG meeting last night. Because they had the transgender meeting and the general GLB meetings in two seperate rooms, its not too hard to figure out when one I attended, heh. And after a mild identity crises of not knowing what to put on the name tag, every thing went just grand.
After the meeting, on the two-hour-drive home, my mother and I were discussing a few things that were brought up at the meeting, namely, what I do about school.
My school has only about 200 students, give or take this year. It's a small early-college-type school where everybody kind of knows everybody, or has at least seen everybody. Because I'm not 'out' this can create some... issues...
I'm pre-T, but look, talk, and act completely male, so I'm sure it's easy for some of you to relate when I say that going to the bathroom tends to be pure hell when you have people screaming at you for 'being in the wrong bathroom.' I can't use the guy's room, because most of them know that I'm physically female, and there could be more-than-unpleasent/awkward questioning/reactions and such from them. And every time I walk into the girl's bathroom (My school is predominantly female) somebody screams and I get yelled at. The only 'unisex' bathrooms we have are in the classrooms, which has its own problems.
Though I've never said anything to her, my Spanish teacher has just ignored/accepted it when I use masculine adjectives to describe myself in my writing and oral presentations, though it just confuses the rest of the students during said oral presentations/peer test grading/etc. The best reaction yet though was, "Um, Senora, I'm not sure if I should mark this right or wrong, this person put... um, yeah, can I just show you?"
I often get people coming up to me and asking me, "Er, I don't mean to offend, but are you a boy or a girl?" And. I don't know what to tell them. If I say I'm a guy, they'll eventually see me in the girl's bathroom, or will see me being referred to as "she" and "her," and then come back to me and get all, "Rawr, why did you lie and tell us you were a guy?" And telling them that I'm a girl is flat out wrong and is then going to create some fun things when I start taking testosterone. After a five minute silence of internal conflict (at which time the other person is going (What the hell? It's a simple question."), I usually just say, "Physically female." and don't go into details. I wonder if anybody ever thinks I'm MTF. xD
I've gotten some pretty negative reactions just in general of "Ew, why do you want to be a boy?" There's no 'want' about it more than wanting the physical features of a bio-male, but... I can't explain that to them without going into detail. Generally a snort and a laugh gets people off my back.
I use a unisex name that I've chosen since I was in elementary ("Ashe") and I'm not sure of how to transition my school into using "Tobias" before I can get it legally changed. The PFLAG meeting was the first time I've ever been publicly referred to as "Tobias" and "he" (sans when strangers at the supermarket say 'Thank you, sir,' heh) and it was so alien, but great.
I'm just... confused and lost as to how to deal with my school. The principal knows that I'm trans and is extremely supporting. One of my teachers last year at the same school had flat out asked me if I was trans at the lunch period and chose the best time to randomly ask. After choking and sputtering on what I was drinking at the time, I just kind of shrugged and laughed and she told me she wouldn't judge me or whatever. So I know I do have some support within the school staff, its everyone else I'm wary of.
-Toby
