Where does gender specific behaviour come from?

[MaryXYX]

Do you find yourself doing something stereotypically female without thinking?  I was having lunch with a young man I rather like and I suddenly realised I was fluttering my eyelashes and flirting with him.  I wasn't thinking at all - just being a woman.

[suzifrommd]

Do you find yourself doing something stereotypically female without thinking?  I was having lunch with a young man I rather like and I suddenly realised I was fluttering my eyelashes and flirting with him.  I wasn't thinking at all - just being a woman.

Yes, Mary, this is one of those things that still blows me away about my transition, how completely I've absorbed feminine mannerisms and habits.

I wish I had known that's how it would be. In the early days I was convinced I'd never be able to act like a woman.

[MaryXYX]

Thank goodness you understand!

By now I don't "act like a woman" - I just am a woman and it shows.

[KarynMcD]

I was late for a train and I caught myself "running like a woman" the other day and I was like, "where the heck did that come from?" I wasn't trying. It just happened.

[FriendsCallMeChris]

I wonder how much is physiological ? Ie with my shoulders broadening and the musculature changing,  I find self pulling my Tshirt off from back of the neck over my head because it's easier movement for my on my shoulder joints. And I found myself climbing stairs leading with my shoulders and putting more "pull" in my quadriceps instead of push in my glutes and hamstrings than I have in the past because my quads have become stronger and my balance is shifting with my top half getting more muscular and heavier

[suzifrommd]

I was late for a train and I caught myself "running like a woman" the other day and I was like, "where the heck did that come from?" I wasn't trying. It just happened.

Comes from not wanting to get my hair mussed up, my clothing out of place, etc.

I wonder how much is physiological ? Ie with my shoulders broadening and the musculature changing,  I find self pulling my Tshirt off from back of the neck over my head because it's easier movement for my on my shoulder joints. And I found myself climbing stairs leading with my shoulders and putting more "pull" in my quadriceps instead of push in my glutes and hamstrings than I have in the past because my quads have become stronger and my balance is shifting with my top half getting more muscular and heavier

I've felt that too. My body is getting skinnier and less muscular so the old ways of movement don't work as well.

[Tessa James]

That is a fascinating question to me and I have long considered the answers to be a mix of our learned behaviors and, in our case, from the changes in our physical being after HRT etc. 

So many of us worked way too long to "stop acting like a sissy girl" as we learned how to man up.  One of the first lessons, I recall, was in grade school where the boys laughed at me for throwing a ball wrong and being "afraid" to catch a stupid (american) foot ball.  It really seems a dumb shape still

I remember countless questions along the lines of why do you act like that.  An SO asked me a few years ago why I was "walking that way" and i was unaware of my mincing steps?  For me/us this is not pretentious behavior, it is something more deeply inherent.  But from where and why?  Those eternal questions bring us back to the dissection of self along the nature and nurture quagmire. 

Early transition for me was a profound relief as I did not appreciate how much effort it had been to unconsciously guard my behavior and not "talk with my hands" etc.   Now I sort of go the other way and don't want to fall into the stereotypical boxes that suggest there is one way for women and another for men to walk, talk and live.

Allowing ourselves precious freedoms to feel and be just you and me is an ongoing sense of finding our way in family, community, culture and love.  Tis a grand journey with unique perspectives as transgender people.