Unexpected awkward ID moment.

[Violet Bloom]

  I seem to be having no problems with passing lately.  Yay!!!  It's given me so much more confidence to shop and not feel like 'eyes may be on me'.  Today I went to Walmart because I needed to find more cheap panties (although the selection of items in a small-enough size for me to tuck with properly is extremely lacking).  A very nice girl with a clipboard approached me and without hesitation greeted me with "Ma'am" properly.  She was trying to solicit Walmart Card applications with a coupon as a reward.  I was almost tempted by the coupon, even though I almost never shop there, but then came the convincing strike against proceeding.  She said, "It's really quick and easy - all I need is your signature and a piece of ID."

  Ugh...  I've made no attempt to change my driver's license for gender or even for the horribly outdated male photo on it.  I'd gotten into such a habit of not having to show it for any reason that I was caught completely off-guard in this situation.  I'm sure they would have been nice about it but I really wasn't prepared to show them the card and have to talk about it aloud in the middle of the womens intimates department!

  Have any of you run into situations like this that you'd never envisioned or planned ahead for?

[Lynne]

Had the same problem when I got a coupon at a local store. When I go out as a girl I cannot use any of my credit cards(sometimes not even when I'm presenting as male) because they just don't believe that the card is mine. So I have to plan ahead and get some cash from the ATM.

[katrinaw]

Yep a problem.
I still have an Amex card, they don't (to date) show any gendering, just first name initial and surname!

But driving will be a problem for me if stopped by police!!

L Katy

[Jill F]

The situation that always got me was getting carded for alcohol or to get into clubs/bars.  Let's face it, folks, I'm middle aged and kinda look it.  There is no planet on which I'm 20, not even Mars (I'd be like 24 there ).  I never bought that whole "well, you look kinda young" thing for one second.   We all know that you wanted to see if I was really more like a "Jack" than a Jill. 

What I did before I made my name and gender legal was this- I put an expired license in front of the then-current one where I was 23 in the picture, clean-shaven with long hair and quite frankly looked female.  Then I took a fortune cookie fortune that obscured the name and gender marker, leaving the DOB visible.  If I was ever asked to take it out, I refused, claiming I already proved my age and that my name and address were irrelevant and none of their damned business.  It worked every time.

Another awkward moment was when I tried to use my debit card at a wine shop that I've frequented for years.  My bank reissued the card with my new name but kept the numbers the same.   We ran the card, but it was red-flagged as fraudulent because the name didn't match the numbers that were on file.  I gave them my ID, shrugged my shoulders and told them that I've never had this issue before. 

"I'm sorry, Ma'am.  I'm going to have to hold on to this while my supervisor checks out this situation."

"I don't get it.  There's certainly no fraud going here."

"The thing is that we happen to have a regular customer who happens to have your same numbers and street address.  This is way fishy"

"You mean Gregory <lastname>?

"Do you know him?"

"That was me before I transitioned to female."

The look on his face was priceless.  I don't think he'd ever encountered a transsexual before.

[suzifrommd]

  Have any of you run into situations like this that you'd never envisioned or planned ahead for?

The first time I had occasion to post in the "You know you really pass when" thread came after only a few weeks full-time after a cashier at Sears looked at my credit card and asked whether it was my husband's card. When I explained that was my real name, he didn't believe me. I even thought about using my male voice, but he accepted the card in the end.

[Mariah]

I have 2 different awkward ID moment's. The first was when I went to get the court order notarized for the name change. I was already full at that point and the picture in the ID was before I had lost a lot of wait too. She had a hard time believing the person in the in picture was the same person because she felt they didn't look a like. Anyway I didn't have to take my makeup off to prove it she decided to believe me. The second was about a week after my name change. Every yer I have to take CE courses to keep certification updated so it doesn't laps. At this point because the CE's are tied to work that part, even though they were aware I was full time even before the name change, still showed my old name since it was registered before the name change and was to late to do anything about it. I had to show the temporary ID along with the one with the whole punched through it and the court order just to prove I was who I say I was. Neither moment went as I was expecting.
Mariah

[Skeptoid]

Nah, it's really "easy" to get your ID changed in my states so I did that already. I just needed a letter from my doctor and paid a $20 fee and now that's behind me. Only thing left is to change my name and that costs a fair bit more.

[iKate]

I changed my ID last week. Estrogen took away 10 years and was causing me to get carded very often. Also buying ammunition and firearm related items I needed to show ID. It was awkward having to show the male ID. "Yes I'm him, I'm trans and I haven't changed my ID yet."

Well not anymore. I'm proud to show my ID now!

[Sammy]

I had a slightly different story, where no ID was involved. I was shopping for a gift for my colleagues' 4 y.o. son (they are buddies with my 4 y.o. daughter, so we were invited to the party), and after choosing nice LEGO City Firetruck, the sales lady said that I should fill-in a lottery coupon with a chance to win 100 EUR gift card. I quickly went through options in my head - put in any female name and surname and if in case of win, I need to supply my ID (which has male name) --> not getting the prize anyway. Or put in my male name and have that awkward moment with sales lady. I ended up with politely declining the offer and telling that I am not very lucky in lotteries. Had the exact same story in H&M a month later, except this time purchase consisted of female clothing, so it was even more "no way I am showing up my male name" scenario.

[Eva Marie]

I always loaded up on cash when I was first presenting as female and expected to be buying something and that usually worked OK. One time very early on in my transition I worked up my courage and walked into a Sephora store looking for some eyeshadow. It was only when i was standing in the checkout line that I realized I had no cash and was going to have to pull out a credit card with a male name on it. The cashier never missed a beat and didn't ask any questions thank heavens. I think I did use that card very sparingly here and there while in girl mode in other stores and restaurants and had no issues.

I'm kind of like Jill in that I'm at an age that I ain't getting carded these days so I never had to show my male driver's license in girl mode. The last time I got carded was when I was still presenting male and was 49 and (i'm 52 now) and was trying to buy some beer at a grocery store - the old male cashier actually thought that I might be under age and was rather shocked when he looked at my license

[akuma32]

  I seem to be having no problems with passing lately.  Yay!!!  It's given me so much more confidence to shop and not feel like 'eyes may be on me'.  Today I went to Walmart because I needed to find more cheap panties (although the selection of items in a small-enough size for me to tuck with properly is extremely lacking).  A very nice girl with a clipboard approached me and without hesitation greeted me with "Ma'am" properly.  She was trying to solicit Walmart Card applications with a coupon as a reward.  I was almost tempted by the coupon, even though I almost never shop there, but then came the convincing strike against proceeding.  She said, "It's really quick and easy - all I need is your signature and a piece of ID."

  Ugh...  I've made no attempt to change my driver's license for gender or even for the horribly outdated male photo on it.  I'd gotten into such a habit of not having to show it for any reason that I was caught completely off-guard in this situation.  I'm sure they would have been nice about it but I really wasn't prepared to show them the card and have to talk about it aloud in the middle of the womens intimates department!

  Have any of you run into situations like this that you'd never envisioned or planned ahead for?

What I would have done is this ask where the manager is have you gone to a private room or office and explained the rights of the law

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[Violet Bloom]

What I would have done is this ask where the manager is have you gone to a private room or office and explained the rights of the law.

  I don't know - I assume there's some sort of legal requirement to verify identity because this is essentially a credit application.  It wasn't that I had a problem exactly with the woman's approach, it's just that the circumstances potentially made the situation exceptionally awkward.  Seems as if she didn't know I was trans so I don't blame her for approaching me while I was browsing women's underwear.  Who knows, maybe they even receive training these days in case the situation comes up, and maybe she wouldn't have reacted weird at all.  There's a lot of pressure on these kinds of workers to get as many card apps as possible so I figure she would have just been happy to get the app.

  All that said, I may write the head office just to get clarification on their policies.  They may actually appreciate hearing the story.  If they knew they potentially lost an app because of this situation they may be greatly interested in changing the way the process works.

[akuma32]

True

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