Girlhood

[Laura_7]

Don't overthink...

just enjoy...

hugs

[Dena]

I am back. You are forgetting the most important part and that's what is inside. Nobody will be able to make that feeling go away and even you can only stop it for a short period of time.

You shouldn't doubt that feeing because many people here can tell you they only ruined there life when they doubted that feeling. When they listened to it they were happy.

Please tell us what is going on with finding therapy because that is the only way you are going to be happy and not have these bad feeling. Therapy has to happen before you will be ready to transition and we want to see that happen for you.

Also can we help your parents? We may be able to find what you need better than your parents.

[KellBelle14]

Im still terrified that its going to go away
Im depressing myself because i have no confidence

[KellBelle14]

Just finished making up my nails they are shiny and cute. NO COLORS YET

[Laura_7]

Well you might be a bit anxious overall... no need for that... try to relax some and calm down... things will be all right.

Well concerning confidence, your therapist should work with you on that, too.
They will talk to you and help you understand yourself better. You can take steps you like, and this will give you confidence.

Confidence can also come from things you simply feel are right for you.

Take it step by step.  Your next step is simply to get to a therapist. Just relax.

And if you want you might reread some of the answers, and keep to things that lift you up... that should help, too

Just finished making up my nails they are shiny and cute. NO COLORS YET

Wow, see ? That can give you some confidence

hugs

[KellBelle14]

Oh my god I'm terrified that it's just my ocd.
Nonono my good life just started!

[KellBelle14]

Well more 2 choices are transition or die. And if its my ocd i will die too i would be so sad.

[Laura_7]

Just do it step by step and all will be ok.

And it comes from inside of you.

If you like ice cream, your ocd will not make it go away. You will continue to want and try ice cream.


hugs

[KellBelle14]

what??? I know you say it isn't going away but what if my mind is making up giant stories. Im scared it is going to be gone.

[Laura_7]

Don't be scared.

Your mind might make up stories.

Your inner feelings like liking ice cream... or liking rings... will remain.

Its like the wizard of oz... a small man pulling on strings to make them appear bigger..

but your true feelings will remain.

hugs

[Tessa James]

Oh Kellbelle, of course our minds make things up all the time.  Our imagination is unlimited and can create whole worlds of fiction.  We celebrate those people who excel as authors, poets, cartoonists, gamers and playwrights.

Our imagination can also allow us to visualize the reality of a brighter future or how the earth looks from space.  You can always find a reason to doubt yourself but what is the payback for that?

What do we gain by listening to hateful ideas or our worst fears?  How would you advise someone else with a scary problem?

There are other ways to see yourself and you can imagine a place where you are safe and real.  Your imagination is unlimited.  Let it take you to a better place.

[KellBelle14]

When i look at women i think well great why couldn't i have been born a girl. 
And i guess this is all a figment of my imagination i shoulda known thats why it all felt like a dream a very good dream. Before i thought i was trans i would say in my head when i look at a girl i wanna be her not only merry her but be her.

[Tessa James]

Many of us have felt that same way.  I used to think I had a crush on some girls but I mostly wanted to be her too.  That is a common idea around here.

Don't give up on your dreams honey, some days that's all we have

I once thought my dreams of being a girl were impossible.  I obviously had a penis and testicles.  Our body is not who we are inside.

Now I am living the dream, so I know dreams can come true.  They can come true for you too.

[Dena]

Kelly we all have had the feelings wanting to be a woman. It might be one we imagine or it might be one we would like to be. I first discovered I was transexual in the 6th grade and i saw a neighbor girl who was in my class. At that moment I knew I want to be her and I was feeling just like you do. It took me a while longer to put a name on it and find that there were others like me. I also discovered that the surgery existed to change my sex. It took a long time to get surgery but at that time there were only a few place where we could be treated. There are far more treatment programs available now so treatment can take place much faster.

[KellBelle14]

What i mean is im afraid my trans is made up by my head. Its awful if it was that i would feel terrible.
Not going to lie but seeing girls makes me depressed and angry at myself.
Sometimes i just wanna be caught in a crossfire.

[Dena]

Your transsexualism is not made up and it looks very much like mine. The girl feeling has changed over the years but it is still there after 63 years. The girl feeling I have now is better than how I felt at your age but it's still there and because of this, I know the feeling you have  isn't going to change. You shouldn't spend you time fearing you are going to lose those feelings, you need to help us make those feeling real. At the moment you are helping us very little and because of that, as bad as we want to help you, we can't. This is a job that is to big for you to handle and the only way we can help you is with the help of your parents. Will you think about doing this for us so we can help you make your dreams real?