Thing is, we suffer a very similar standard of oppression when it comes to the posit that we're just reinforcing gender norms constructed by the patriarchy. Which to a large degree they are! Make-up, shaving my legs, living in fear of my moussed and sprayed hair getting wet. These things are inconvenient!!! As a prettified object I am loath to do things, loath to behave certain ways - yet I've done this to myself. Why? Partially it's self-serving, on the basis that I enjoy looking like that. Whether it's a construct or not, I'm happy with the way I look. Which can be the same for any woman: cis or trans or gay or straight or whatever. Sometimes feminine modes of expression come from within, rather than without.
Which could be a 'bad feminist' thing to say - however it's fair to say that inverting the above and dressing and acting masculine is still responding to the patriarchy, albeit in a different way. To intentionally 'man up' is still recognising the gender constructs and responding to them. The genuine feminist, or at least me, would ignore the whole thing entirely and get on with life; whether in a nice blouse or a crap tee shirt.
Yet that's difficult to do, or at least to accept the difference and get on with it is. As feminists we ought to ignore what men want altogether and go with what we'd like to do; to have an entirely personal expression completely away from gender. To wit: I might love a particular jacket or a necklace or a pair of big sunglasses. As long as I don't buy them with the intention of attracting a man (which I really, really don't), then that's fine. Similarly if a man wanted to wear them, I wouldn't care either. But such utopia doesn't exist.
What does is a patriarchal power structure that oppresses us in a way that's simultaneously identical and quite different. # Oxymoron # No it isn't and here's why.
Women are generally supposed, by the men, to exhibit certain feminine traits. Whilst this is unfair, to do so is entirely natural. For those who are straight, there's the issue that not doing so labels one as masculine or dominant, thus undesirable. Therefore she cuts herself off from potential relationships, life chances and whatever. It's perfectly possible for a woman to come under (sometimes literal) attack for not being femme enough. We've heard of the 'geezer birds' and 'ladettes' and stuff being pilloried in Murdoch's mucky media. It is disgusting. It's horrid and I hate it, but it happens!!!!
Where do we fit in? Well we're, as the MTF's of this world, also just as vulnerable to patriarchal attack. If not more. We are, if you'll allow harsh language, perverts and deviants and sex offenders. That we aren't is irrelevant when confronted by an ignorant bloke with clenched fists. Thus it doesn't do for us to go out with a beard or wearing men's clothes and having short hair. To present as less convincing than we're capable of being, to not bother so much, is potentially injurious. When I go out, I make sure to be, at least, passable for my own safety. I prefer to be able to walk around without being beaten up for being a ->-bleeped-<- whatsit. As such an enhanced degree of femininity is sometimes necessary to accomplish this. I have to think about gender cues, currently, and how to make sure that my appearance is somehow proclaiming 'F'. It has to!!!
Therefore we all end up reinforcing what's seen as oppressive on the basis that 1) Some of us quite like being feminine 2) To not be feminine risks demoting us from 'female' to '->-bleeped-<-' in the perceptions of the man on the street. Which could lead to insult, physical harm, murder and worse (there's worse).
It's responding to their oppression, but I'd rather do that than attempt a subversion. Or another way, I'm not overly bothered if I upset a few TERFs. Upsetting a crowd of lager drinkers spilling out of a pub is a far more real concern.
And this is why we NEED feminism!!!!
It's vital that we work to stop this kind of thing and aim for the neutralised ideal I outlined. Then this kind of stuff would be less necessary. Currently it is, and we suffer together. Different reasons but same effect. Imagine we're all on the same sinking ship, but it's leaking in two different places.
I've fallen off the soapbox now, but hope one day to write something that'll change a few minds. We don't need infighting, as the left is prone to do, we need greater cohesion in order to actually shift this great, dead weight pressing us all into the dirt.
