I didn't get a wink of sleep.

[Maddy_Aya_W.]

I didn't sleep last night, because I've been rolling the topic of coming out to my various family members around in my head. I'm totally ready to, I'm tired of living in the shadows, and pretending to be the person I was never really meant to be. The problem is, I don't really know how to go about doing this. I have a general idea of what I would say, but I have no idea how to go about saying it. Should I just come out, and say it outright? Should I try to ease them into it by steering the conversation in that direction? Should I get help from my therapist? Should I come out to one family member, whom I know won't cast me out, and get them to help me? It's just so many what ifs, ands, and buts. It's overwhelming at times, luckily, the antidepressant I was prescribed has been helping stave off the sadness. Now I'm just left with anxiety, fear, and confusion. Anyone who might be able to give me some advice, or just words of encouragement, would be greatly appreciated. I actually feel a little better just spilling my guts. None the less, I could use a little help, and I really do appreciate any that can be given. Thanks for reading, and just taking the time to see if you might be able to help.

Hugs,
Maddy

[Cindy]

One thing I will say, you never know what will happen, all I knew was I had to be me. Finally me, no longer a ghost but me.

As it turned put no one in my family gave a damn. They didn't understand but they accepted me.

[Mariah]

There is no single one right way to come out. You need to find what works for you. Your therapist certainly can help give you ideas too. for me I tried to tell each individually using things from my pasted that they would remember to help clue them in to what was wrong all along to help give them understanding to a point that they would be supportive if they chose to be. As far as coming out, as Cindy pointed out for her, it was a point of having to be me and I couldn't hold back any longer. Overall people have excepted some refuse to acknowledge some things, but that is going to happen. It's big step and I'm sure when your ready you will be able to accomplish. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

[Maddy_Aya_W.]

Thank you, to both of you. It's about what I figured, I guess. I'm just gonna have to bite the bullet, and hope for the best. I'm sure I have what it takes, I just need to assume the best is going to happen, and go for it. Thanks again, I appreciate what help both of you were able to give. Keep me in your thoughts, and let's all hope for the best.

Hugs,
Maddy

[ToniB]

Hopefully You will have let slip enough of Your true nature over the Years that like My Family they where actually not surprised at all and had been wondering when I would reveal My True nature so It was a bit of a non event in the end LOL

[Tessa James]

Hi Maddy,

Great advice already from our sisters here but hang on to your sleep cycles, you're going to need the rest   Coming out is a big deal and the "news" may blow some minds and be difficult not to share.  Be prepared for some to gossip.  I recommend you own your true story and practice your narrative with us or that trusted friend or family member.  I was a mess of tears the first few times I told my story but it gets easier and your story is uniquely YOURS!  For many people the news is no big deal and as Toni says some may not be surprised at all.  The big deal is between our ears as we often struggled with our private truth for so long.

I'm tired of living in the shadows, and pretending to be the person I was never really meant to be.

That statement alone can set the tone.  I found that when sharing such a private and vulnerable truth people often felt trusted and closer and reciprocated by sharing private truths of their own.  It will likely be a tremendous relief for you.  I felt a great sense of liberation.  Some will recommend hints and clues or testing the water by asking questions...what do you think of Caitlyn or Courtney?   I realized with my big circles that coming out one to one would take too long and people insert their own explanations too often.  I resorted to email letters and put my story in the newspaper too.  That sure saved me a lot of explanations as I went full time before HRT and got too much of the "is it Mardi Gras?" stuff.

Good luck!

[Maddy_Aya_W.]

Thank you, Toni, you as well Tess. I know in some cases that I've probably let the truth slip through, more than I realize. Gossip is something I'm already accustomed too, as I've come out to a few people. Unfortunately, I came out to the wrong people in most cases. I saw a psychiatrist, whom my psychologist recommended, and she prescribed me an anti-anxiety med. Which, should make this at least a little easier. Not having all these irrational fears running through my head, and what not. Talking with her also seems to bring the emotions I've been keeping bottled to the surface, more easily than talking with my psychologist. She even flat out asked me if I'd chosen a feminine name, then asked me which name I'd prefer she call me. Don't get me wrong, both of these women are pretty helpful in helping me deal with my emotions. My psychiatrist just asks more straight forward questions, where as talking to my psychologist is like a casual conversation, with discussion of me being trans thrown into the mix. We also discussed what I might say when coming out to my family today. She reassures me, that I have a pretty solid plan, but thinks my anxiety is holding me back. I guess I'll have to wait and see how I feel once I start anxiety meds. Thank you again, to each one of you, I truly appreciate your help.

Hugs,
Maddy

[Rachel]

Hi Maddy,

The others covered it pretty well. I just wanted to give you support. Good luck with your future disclosure.

When you do come out there is no way of knowing the reactions of others. I was completely wrong with work and family (other than my wife and daughter) which were fantastic so far.

My wife and daughter and I love each other very much and struggle with my transition.

[Mariah]

Your welcome. Please let us know how things go. I look forward seeing progress. Good luck and hugs
Mariah

Thank you, to both of you. It's about what I figured, I guess. I'm just gonna have to bite the bullet, and hope for the best. I'm sure I have what it takes, I just need to assume the best is going to happen, and go for it. Thanks again, I appreciate what help both of you were able to give. Keep me in your thoughts, and let's all hope for the best.

Hugs,
Maddy

[Maddy_Aya_W.]

Thank you, Cynthia, your support is also appreciated. I'll keep everyone posted, Mariah, that you can be sure of. I'm sure there'll be things to tell, in the near future. Some good, maybe some bad, but I hope I can bring more good news than bad. Please keep me in your thoughts, everyone, things could get bumpy.

Hugs,
Maddy