Quote from: Hazel.A on July 06, 2015, 10:58:58 AM
at school people always called me ugly and laughed at me.. they also called me dumb, annoying and a freak... at this point I just realized that it's the truth and have accepted it. Someone like me shouldn't have been born, I can't contribute anything other than be selfish and take others time up..
Really? You're going to let
those people dictate how you feel about yourself? REALLY?
I was called all of those things in school, too. I was crippled, I was a weirdo, and I was a Jersey kid in Texas. It was tough. I used to say all of those terrible things to myself, how I thought I was no good, unlovable, and blah blah blah. And it's all a bunch of malarkey!
For years, I was as punk as can be and had no idea. I didn't fancy myself a punk rocker, as at that time, I associated punk rock with Rancid, Orange County, and mohawks. It wasn't until years later that I really started to understand what it meant to be punk. That's when I embraced (some of) my idiosyncrasies. I went from the quiet kid in the back of the classroom, to a boisterous loud-mouth. Ironically, once this happened I began to make more and more friends. By the end of high school, I came so much out of my shell that I could make fun of the jocks to their faces, and they would laugh!
My point is, be kind to yourself, and honor who you are. Try this. I want you to think of all the things you want to be -- the things you already are, and the things you don't think you are. I want you to take a pen and a notebook. Write down things like, "I am compassionate and empathetic. I am an honest, authentic person. I am fun-loving, charismatic, and attractive."
Go on and on with it. Don't take the easy way and type it on the computer. Writing by hand involves more intent and involvement. Write as many positive things about yourself that you can think of. Make stuff up! If you must, you can start with, "I want to be..." but make sure you quickly move on to "I am..."
And listen to Bikini Kill.
<3
