Advice Please

[Leki]

Hey everybody, I have got a bit of a dilemma.

Last December I went to see my GP for a referral to the gender clinic .

In March I took a job teaching in the Czech Republic.

I am still in the Czech Republic. I am going traveling around Europe for a week and then I start a new 6 week job in Spain.

The job starts on July 5th.

HOWEVER, I have received a letter offering me an initial appointment on the 16th July.

I am from the UK and the appointment is in the UK.

In the letter it says I can rearrange the appointment if I want. However I don't want to keep putting off dealing with my trans issues (I have a history of doing that)

If I still go to the job and somehow get time off for flights (this is possible but unlikely) then about half of my money from the job would end up on flights which would make it kinda pointless.

Also I am finding it harder and harder to function in society.

I do feel bad for quitting the job about a week before it starts though.

What should I do? Should I return to the UK and go to my appointment or try and reschedule and keep my job?

My level of stress is increasing.

[Laura_7]

Hmm... well a 6 week job should be over sometime....

and you might talk to the doc about your situation. They might talk to you via skype or phone or mail, and you might send results in from a local laboratory... should that be necessary...
or something could be arranged to do a few tests or talks during a short time, a few days... so there would be less follow ups...

I'd talk to them...

and you might have a look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=181192.0

and here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,183001.0.html


hugs

[Kaydee]

Only you know how badly you need to go to the appointment right away.  If you set the appointment for soon after your new job ends, will having the date set lessen some of your need?  Are there other things you can do to release some of the stress of not being yourself for a few more weeks?   You need to investigate the alternatives and try to determine if you can wait until the end of the job.

OTOH if you are at the end of your patience, if you can't put up with the stress of the dysphoria and the stresses of everyday life, then you are important enough to inconvenience others.  Sometimes we trans people tend to put ourselves last and don't think our own lives are as important of those of others.

[Maddy_Aya_W.]

Hi, Leki

They've pretty much said what needs to be said, but I just wanted to share something my psychiatrist told me, that may or may not help you out. It's helped me some, but at first I was a little dumbfounded to realize What I'd been doing. What she told  me was, "You're probably going to end up making sacrifices either way, so why should the sacrifice be yourself?". Don't misconstrue that as me telling you to up and quit. Ultimately you have to decide how important the appointment is, and how important the job is. Then give priority to whatever you feel is most important. If you do stay, as Laura said, there exsist alternative options. Just look into what is available to you, that will probably help in your decision making. Do what needs to be done, and don't regret your choice. Life is too short for regrets.

Hugs,
Maddy