The older TS: Hair alternatives

[Dora]

Hi everyone,

Being part of the 50+ crowd, I am very concerned about my hair when it comes to passing. Sad but true, my hair is minimal on the crown and with considerable thinning toward the front. I've been told that it would be difficult, if not impossible to do a hair weave because of the thinning so I have resigned to the fact that using my own hair is not an option. I went to a wig shop and found most of the wigs looked okay, buth they seem to have that wig look to them. I told the owner about my situation and she suggested a natural human hair wig. She brought one out to show me and I have to say the look and feel of the hair was very impressive. The European hair was especially beautiful (and of course the most expensive). She said with proper care it would last a few years (as opposed to the synthetic wigs which should be replaced usually once a year if worn every day.) I also like the idea I can start out with long hair and go to a shorter style later if I want to. She said the downside is that the hair has to be styled and fussed over (like real hair) but actually the idea of learning how to style it would be a plus not a negative.

Any thoughts?

Dora

[Suzy]

Dora,

There are a lot of us girls that can't use our own hair for the same reason.  (sigh)

Yes, the human hair wigs are really nice.  But, if you look around, there are some synthetic wigs that will look just about as nice, and for a fraction of the price.  With them you can try out different colors, lengths, styles, etc. before you have to commit to anything too seriously.  And you might want to change for that special occasion.  I have two that I alternate between.  I've found that getting it fitted to your face is also important, and most wig shops can do that for about $20.

Once you know what you want, human hair seems to be a good option.  But I would start with synthetic.

Best of luck!

Kristi

[Hypatia]

In my case, I have enough of my own hair to not need a wig... but still the loss in front is pretty regrettable. I lost hair in two areas in front, above the temples but not in the middle. I know combovers on men suck, but I use a hair mousse that thickens and holds, and I have long side-bangs. The bangs hide my loss on one side--on the other side, if I use enough mousse I can persuade the hair to hide the bald spot there. Or otherwise, I tie a narrow rectangular silk scarf around my head, like a headband, to hide that spot. I wear my long hair falling over the scarf so that the only part that shows is the band over my forehead and the tail hanging down my back. Sometimes I wear a headband under my hair instead.

Scarves provide a couple of advantages in addition to hiding baldness. One, my hair is very fine textured, so wearing a scarf or headband under it helps it to look a little fuller. Two, scarves are stylish, and this has become a signature style that works for me. I love silk. Yeah, a scarf on the head is kind of old-ladyish, but this thread is for mature women like us, and we have our own ways of looking stylish that wouldn't necessarily suit young girls. It's very important that we mature women know how to look good by dressing our age and looking elegant. Dressing age-inappropriately and tastelessly is one of the worst faux pas made by inept transgenderists and it earns them much disrespect.

But I keep feeling that wearing scarves is a temporary fix, and I'm looking forward to getting either hair transplants, or getting my scalp adjusted if I ever figure out how to afford FFS.

Thank goodness I got on HRT to halt the hair loss before it got any worse. Unfortunately, for medical reasons I had to complete a course of chemotherapy-like treatment before I could begin HRT. It caused huge gobs of hair to fall out. My hair loss had not been too severe before that. Oh well. Lots of older women have suffered hair loss. There is now "cold laser" treatment to stimulate the scalp and help hair to begin regrowing. The nurse who runs one laser place I go to showed me her before and after pictures. She had been suffering premature hair loss all over her scalp even before menopause. But now it's growing in thickly again. If I were rich, I'd try that too...

[Dora]

If I were rich, I'd try that too...

Laugh... that's my problem too... hair is a priority, but there are other priorities I need to get out of the way first.

Kristy: Thanks for the advice, I think I will follow it. It makes sense to try a few different styles before investing the big bucks.

I find it interesting that this hair problem gets so little attention. Either most TSs are lucky and have little hair loss or a lot of them are transitioning young. Or people are embarrassed to talk about it. OR I am making a mountain out of a molehill and having to wear a wig is not all that bad.    There really isn't much discussion about it anywhere on the internet.

Dora

[Suzy]

Yes, Dora, it's one of those hot topics of non-discussion around here.  But if you have to still function, at least for a while, as a man, a wig is an excellent alternative.  It instantly changes your appearance quite dramatically.

Kristi

[Shana A]

I find it interesting that this hair problem gets so little attention. Either most TSs are lucky and have little hair loss or a lot of them are transitioning young. Or people are embarrassed to talk about it. OR I am making a mountain out of a molehill and having to wear a wig is not all that bad.  Smiley  There really isn't much discussion about it anywhere on the internet.

I'm not among the lucky or young, my hairline has been receding for a while, and thinning on top.
I try to be creative with scarves, hats, etc. I suppose the Brittany Spears, Sinead O'Connor hairstyle is always an option 

Zythyra

[Karla B]

I'm in the latter part of my 40s and thinning . I'm glad that it's not too bad and I hope I still have enough time to reverse it. I'm giving monoxidil a chance for a while and see what happens. Then I would consider a hair transplant. I would get a wig if it were absolutly necessary.
Have you looked into the transplant option? There is so much that they can do now and you can't really tell that you had it done. It's not like it used to be with those very noticable plugs.

[Dora]

Then I would consider a hair transplant.

I agree, but I have heard it is very expensive. Any idea on the average cost of hair transplants? Right now I am focusing my money on face and body hair. It's kinda ironic that I am spending money to get rid of hair where I don't want it and to add hair where I do want it. Anyway, I am in the beginning stages so for now I'll just be happy with the hairpiece.

Dora

[Karla B]

LOL, I've been worrying about the hair on the rest of my body too, when I should have been worrying about whats been happening on my head. I went to have waxing done on my legs and body every six weeks. Then I got fed up and decided I'll go for laser treatments on my legs. Almost $ 4000 later, I still go and get waxed because the laser got rid of alot of it but not all of it. considering waxing costs less than a 100 dollars every six weeks, the $4000 could have paid for alot of waxing or a good portion of the treatments I would of needed for my hair. LOL , Live and learn, Now I'm really giving some carefull thought about what my priorities are. I kind of sit back and laugh and cry about it at the same time.    

Oh, by the way, the cost varys depending on how serious the problem is. You can go for a price quote, many will give you a free consultation. At least that's how it is up here in Canada. If they want your business they should give you a free quote. I have looked into this and when it's done it's permanant.

[Hypatia]

Karla, thanks for posting that so any little temptation I might someday get for lasering my legs is now quashed. I loved the effect of the laser on my chest, and my tummy and back will be getting the treatment someday. But I've decided I can live with waxing my legs (and arms) for the rest of my life.

Actually, Karla, I "wax" my body with sugar, Persian-style (far easier to clean than wax, and gentler on the skin, but works just as well)--and I do it all myself, and for my whole body it costs about $22 for the sugar preparation by Parissa. If I weren't so lazy, I'd cook up my own sugar goop, and spend about $2.

[gothique11]

I have a friend that has a really good wig-thingy. I don't know what it is called, but it looks very real and is glued on your head. I think it costs a lot, but it looks real. No one I know can tell. I can't tell.

[Keira]

In a couple of years, 5-8 year maybe, they will be commercially available cloning of hair, which will simplify transplants immensely both for those who only need to fill small holes and those that have a limited amount of donor hair due to extensive baldness. 

They take one hair in a stable area and just reproduce it X times and then reimplant it. They are already able to do it, but it will take awhile before it reaches the general public at an affordable price. No more scars in the donor area and an unlimited supply of hair.

[seldom]

I am 29 and I have to wear a wig, I have a friend of mine and she is 32 and wears one.  You really do not have to be that old for this to be an issue.  DHT is very very cruel at times. 

[Deja]

There is no shame in wearing a wig. Wigs aren't made solely for hair challenged Mtfs. They are made for anyone who needs them, including genetic women.
Plus, with the $ you save with transplants that might not even work you can buy a lot of nice wigs.
Luvs,
Deja

[Dora]

There is no shame in wearing a wig.

Deja,
I hear what you are saying, but it is really a matter of self-image vanity instead of shame. I now wear my wig (I hate that word) all day and in the evenings. When I take it off at night to sleep, it just feels wrong. When I wake up in the morning it still feels wrong.   

I think I found a simple solution... I located a night time wig online. It has a thick headband with short curly hair on top. Maybe that will help -- at least until the cloned hair transplant Keira mentioned becomes an option. The "pasted hair" technique sounds interesting too. I did some research on it and start up costs are high. It also said plan on about $800 a year for "maintenance."

Guess I will just be patient and see what the future brings.

Thanks everyone for the input!

Dora

[Karla B]

Karla, thanks for posting that so any little temptation I might someday get for lasering my legs is now quashed. I loved the effect of the laser on my chest, and my tummy and back will be getting the treatment someday. But I've decided I can live with waxing my legs (and arms) for the rest of my life.

Actually, Karla, I "wax" my body with sugar, Persian-style (far easier to clean than wax, and gentler on the skin, but works just as well)--and I do it all myself, and for my whole body it costs about $22 for the sugar preparation by Parissa. If I weren't so lazy, I'd cook up my own sugar goop, and spend about $2.

I don't mind cooking at all  ,So you'll have to give me that recipe so I can make some of my own.   I have a small patch on my chest and around my navel that I wouldn't mind doing myself. That way I could eliminate that cost of having it done.

[saraswatidevi]

OK, Karla B. Here goes:

2 cups sugar
1/4 cup water
1/4 cup lemon juice
Cook to hard ball stage (on a candy thermometer) 250 degrees.

Use at room temperature. Cover area to be done with corn starch. This will discourage taffy from sticking to the skin. Then spread on with something like tongue depressors. Pat strips of muslin into the taffy and pull off in the opposite direction of hair growth. If you see hairs that were missed you can reuse the muslin strip you just pulled off over and over again. There are techniques that do not require muslin strips and the wooden sticks but I was like the tar baby the first time I tried it. My hands were covered with long sticky strands and I couldn't pick up anything.

Everything cleans nicely with warm water and you can wash out the muslin strips and reuse them. I bought muslin and the sticks online at places that sell professional waxing supplies. I actually bought a large roll of muslin about 3 inches wide so I can cut strips just the right length for my legs. And yes, it is hard to do the back of my own legs but I manage. After all the taffy is not hot so there is no time limit in getting the muslin strips in place or removed. I find the taffy to be more sticky than hot wax; easier to use; and it doesn't irritate my skin at all. If you skin does need some soothing after a treatment of whatever you use try Burt's Bees Apricot Baby Oil. You get it at health food stores or online.

[Hypatia]

That's a good description of what I had in mind, Saraswati. I've also heard of a Persian sugar method that just rolls a ball of the stuff around on the skin, but I prefer using the muslin strips as in waxing.

You said to use it at room temperature? That hasn't been my experience, but then I haven't tried making my own. The storebought sugar preparation is nearly solid at room temperature, it has to be warm enough to spread easily, but cool enough not to hurt your skin. I microwave it to warm it up--but no more than a few seconds! Twenty seconds max for a full jar of it, and proportionally less time for a smaller amount. One advantage of sugar is that it works at lower temperatures than wax.

Spread the stuff on thinly in the direction of hair growth using a tongue depressor. Smooth the muslin strip over it in the direction of hair growth. Pull it off quickly and smartly in the opposite direction, at a low angle, parallel to the skin.

Whatever you do, don't use a balsam resin preparation! The stuff is almost impossible to clean up if you spill it on anything. It is marketed under the euphemistic names "wax" or "honey" but in reality it's neither. Read the label carefully before buying. I searched and searched all the stores around here, but never found real beeswax. My friend who came from New York City said the bodegas sell it, but the Latino shops here don't have it. One Asian-owned beauty supply store sold me balsam instead of wax, and my friend who helped me got it all over her carpet, which is how we found it's horribly messy and almost impossible to clean.

On the other hand, you can buy plastic strips coated with a very thin layer of balsam, and those are not so bad, and the most convenient method of all, but also the most expensive, a waste of money if you have to do large areas. They're better for touchups. The Parissa company makes all of these. I finally found a preparation of real beeswax by Parissa--it's quite bizarre--you melt the snotgreen wax on the stove, spread a layer on your skin, and wait for it to harden. Then you pull it off and it doesn't even use strips, just wax. You can save the used wax, reheat, and reuse--but only until it gets so full of hair it either grosses you out or stops working. It's only useful on small areas. It worked great on my underarms and didn't even hurt there much.

[saraswatidevi]

The store bought sugar preparation is nearly solid at room temperature, it has to be warm enough to spread easily, but cool enough not to hurt your skin.

The stuff I made is the same consistency as the sugar stuff I bought commercially. I use one of the sticks to get a clump of it out of the container. It does spread but not easily. Once I put it a glob on my skin it warms and can be spread out. I just find it convenient not to warm it.  I really love this. It is esthetically pleasing, kind to the skin and very cheap to make.

That other technique of just using the sugar and no muslin strips is one I have not yet mastered. To put it mildly. I've tried a couple of times and each time I ended up like someone in a cartoon with my hands stuck together and both of them stuck to my leg, etc. It would have been very funny if anyone was there to see it.

[Karla B]

 Hypatia and Saraswatide,Thankyou so much, that's awsome info.   I'm definitly going to give it a try.