Playing hooky today

[nathan]

I seriously needed a day to decompress, so work got the shelf. Been stuck in girl mode with a side of anxiety all week. Even trying to drown out the screaming in my head with the new Birthday Massacre CD only worked for a bit. I remember a poll a while ago about how much you think about your own gender issues, and my answer back then was "every once in a while". Now it's every waking moment. I wish I could shut it off for a while. Stop the battle of "You're a girl!" and "You're a boy!" going on up there. Ugh...

<---kinda odd that I changed my avatar today to her, ain't it? Confused person is confused.

So today:
Brain unplugged: check. Comfy clothes: check. Snuggly cat: check. Good movies: check.

Anyone else get this way? Where you physically shut down? It's oogie.

[chillin]

I seriously needed a day to decompress, so work got the shelf. Been stuck in girl mode with a side of anxiety all week. Even trying to drown out the screaming in my head with the new Birthday Massacre CD only worked for a bit. I remember a poll a while ago about how much you think about your own gender issues, and my answer back then was "every once in a while". Now it's every waking moment. I wish I could shut it off for a while. Stop the battle of "You're a girl!" and "You're a boy!" going on up there. Ugh...

<---kinda odd that I changed my avatar today to her, ain't it? Confused person is confused.

So today:
Brain unplugged: check. Comfy clothes: check. Snuggly cat: check. Good movies: check.

Anyone else get this way? Where you physically shut down? It's oogie.

Yeah sometimes I used to get physically shut down because I had thoughts that I should be the opposite sex but I'm ok with it now I'm me thats it. Sometimes I think though I'm glad I think like a female because I don;t want to be a macho male. I enjoy being senstitive like a female but its also pain in the butt because I canlt relate to other males when I do the bar scene thing but than again I;m just me.

[sparkles]

i havw days like this and had a whole 2 weeks a couple of months back were i could just not do anything else and i found this website and andro and all that stuff and thought i would never think of anything else again, but life tends to carry on and things tend to take over and the gender thing gets put to the back again for a bit then comes flooding back when things are calmer again. it can be annoying

[Jaimey]

That was pretty much every day off I had for the past few months.  But, LUCKILY (and I do mean that), I was let go (along with 6 other people) for (of all the stupid things) using a coupon we didn't realize we couldn't use.  I worked in a bookstore and I LOVE books, so I couldn't quit on my own and I was stuck in the $7 an hour rut.  But I had an interview today for a real job (that pays WAY more) and I'm going to apply for a couple more.

But back to topic, I used to work Thursday-Monday and I had Tuesday and Wednesday off every week.  On those two days, I would stay in bed at least 10-12 hours and I would veg out what little time I was awake.  For me, the gender issue wasn't my main worry, but money, because, let's face it, kids, you can't live on $700 a month.  It's impossible.  Now I think about being androgyne ALL THE TIME.  But mostly it's because I found this forum and now I have people to talk to. 

I don't think there's anything wrong with taking a day for yourself.  In fact, if you don't, you'll probably go crazy. 

[Kaimialana]

Ha! I remember when I had this problem. My solution was that when these thoughts seem to conflict, I just insert the mantra "I'm a girl, I'm a boy, I'm both" up there. I saw a fundamental problem in separating the two, in putting up walls, further separating the parts of myself when I only feel comfortable when they are free to mix. I don't know how a person could live as truly bi-gender, male and female separated from each other, and stay sane.